LGBTQIAP+ Milestones: Book 3

I'm Pretty Sure I've Aced It

By iambeingdeadsirius.

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I'm homoromantic (or biromantic. I'm not quite sure yet. I also might be grey-aro). I'm asexual. Everyone is so freaking aesthetically attractive. I'm a Christian. Contrary to popular belief, these things are not mutually exclusive. I can want to date someone but not do the dirty with them. I can not want to have sex and still be attracted to someone. Just because I love looking at a person doesn't mean that I'm attracted to them. And just because I'm a Christian it doesn't mean I'm a homophobe and am scared that I'm going to Hell because I am attracted to girls as well as possibly guys.

And for those of you who think this, please note that just because I don't really want kids and don't want to ever have sex and maybe not even a romantic relationship because they seem like a hell of a lot of work does not make me any less human than you. So get off your high horse and accept that I am just as valid as you.

As of me writing this, I am out to five people. Two of which are moving, one of which I haven't seen in weeks, and one of which I won't see for weeks. And for now, there's no way I'm coming out to my parents, both of whom I am almost positive are homophobic.

One of my strongest early childhood memories is my mom getting a book from the library to teach my younger brother about human anatomy. But, you know, the one for three-year-olds. Me being the bookworm I am, I for some reason decided that I was going to read the book that has been read to me when I was younger. Nostalgia, I guess. And then the part I remember very clearly: after I had finished the book, my mom took me aside and pointed out how the book said, "and whether they have a mommy and a daddy or two daddies or two mommies" [talking about the babies] and how that wasn't right.

That stuck with me for a long time (obviously) and I never really got why until recently. Honestly, I now wonder why I never knew I was ace, because it seems so obvious now, based on the things I said as, like, a ten-year-old. I am also ashamed to say that I adopted a homophobic attitude. I never really thought that queer people were going to Hell or anything (due to me never actually reading the supposed anti-gay verses in the Bible), I just thought that these people we weird and wrong and that it wasn't right.

So, I suppose that my milestone would be me shedding my homophobic attitude and accepting that these people are amazing and in no way wrong and me questioning who I am. And while I may not fully know what I identify as, I'm on my way there and I feel more comfortable with who I am, so for me, that is a milestone.

And to anyone who is questioning, or feels uncomfortable with their sexuality or gender, just keep in mind that just because you do not fit into the mold of what some other person expects of you does not mean that you are not valid or that you are wrong. You just keep on being a rainbow unicorn, because that's what people apparently think we are.