LGBTQIAP+ Milestones: Book 3

My first crush/kiss

By Zuper_Bat_Girl

~

In Australia people accept but some still don't some people such as my uncle, he says that I am still deciding and it hurts sometimes

Growing up I watched a lot of movies with heterosexual couples but never came across the LGBT community until a young age of eight

It was my first day if school and I knew that today was gonna be the day I die, in kindergarten I was bullied for no reason and those same people who bullied me came to my primary school with me, I walked into the fount office with my mom and she signed me in, the lady at the desk lead me to meet my teacher, who just so happened to be a girl who was a lesbian. The school was mainly made up of the LGBT+ community, of coarse we got a few transgender or gender fluid or asexual teachers but that is what this school so good and so accepting that everyone knew that if they started to crush on the same sex or wear something that was outside of their gender they would be accepted

However the bullies were REAL homophobic people and hated changes so I was sort of shaking because of that

She showed me around the school and I got to meet my class but one girl stole my eyes

She had brown skin and Amber eyes, black hair tied in a ponytail and she looked beautiful, the teacher asked me to sit next to 'Cinndigo' and pointed to the girl I described earlier, I nodded and walked to my seat

Because there was a spare behind her I stared at her the entire time, it was then I realised 'it this normal?' I started to get distracted by the question and other popped into my head, now, being eight years old and with no knowledge of the LGBTQ or LGBT+ or LGBT I had no idea why I was feeling this way and got scared because of it

When the bell rang I went to my bag, grabbed my snack and walked out of the classroom

I walked around to find an area in which I can be left alone with my own thoughts and feeling for this 'cinndigo' person

This was where I was attacked by the same homophobic people, one pushed my to the ground and pinned me down, the told me I was worthless and that they will paint the town red with my own blood, I was terrified when I heard a voice, yelling at them to go away

He scoffed at whoever said that and turned his attention back to me when someone tackled him and pinned him down, telling them to never hurt me again

I recognised that voice and shot up right, from there I saw a boy with brown hair with pale white skin, he stood up and the bully scrambled, when he turned around he showed my baby blue eyes

Sèan

I got up and ran to him, hugging the dear life out of him, he told me that there was some people who would help me and keep me safe, he toke my hand and lead down a alleyway to a group

He introduced them one by one

Felix had dirty blond hair and blue eyes

Mark/ Mary had jet black hair and brown eyes

Dan had brown hair and brown eyes

Phil had black hair with green bluey eyes

And Cinndigo was there

They all waved to me expect for Cinndigo who was staring right into my blue and brown eyes

Two more people joined who was a girl and a boy, She walked out to me and pulled me into the group

The girl who joined was Emma she had short black hair and Hazel eyes

The boy who joined was called PJ he had brown curly hair and green eyes

I soon found out that Sèan was gay, Mary was a transgender girl who must rather be called Mark, PJ was gay, Emma was a lesbian, Felix was straight, Dan and Phil were both pansexual and it came to me

I didn't know what I was so when Cinndigo asked me if I was bisexual I went alone with it and said 'yeah thats me' and then she said that she was a lesbian

I went home that day and searched up those words

Lesbian - a girl who is only attracted to girls

Gay - a boy who is only attracted to boys

Transgender - a person who doesn't feel like the sex that wither were born with

Asexual - a person who is not attracted to any gender

Bisexual - a boy/girl who is attracted to both boys and girls

I reread bisexual over an over, trying to retrace any signs that I was bisexual, I soon remembered that sometimes I would go to the boys underwear section and stare at their top half which was normally ripped so I thought 'yeah this actually fits me well, so I'm not going crazy'

Well Cinndigo is only attracted to girls, I wonder if she will find me attractive

Two weeks later

Cinndigo and I have been inseparable for the past two weeks and so she was taking me to her favourite place

She toke my hand and lead me to the local bay, I pushed down the butterflies and the fact that my crush was holding my hand and followed her down to the sand where the sun was setting

I watched as the colours and the light bounced off her face, making her look stunning, I was full on staring at her, she turned to face me and smiled, I tried to hide my blush but that only made her giggle, making me more red

She turned her body to face me, she asked me what was wrong and i replied nothing. She wrapped her arm around my waist and pulled me closer, she asked me the same question again and my response was the same, nothing

She rolled here eyes telling my that she wasn't going to give up anytime soon

I became impatient, I wanted her for my own, I wanted to called her mine and mine alone, I wanted her to be my girlfriend

Something warm on my lips snapped my out of my daze, I looked to see Cinndigo kissing me, she pulled away and apologised

I shoke my head and reconnected our lips

"Cinndigo will you be my girlfriend?" I asked, she looked into my eyes "yes" was all she said before turning her attention to the sunset, I held her hand and keeled it that way all the way back home

This was my very first big encounter of the LGBTQ community

(R.I.P Cinndigo 2003 - 2011)