The Kidnapper's Wife

48. Before

"I just don't understand it. It's not that he wasn't outdoorsy before we got married, but he was never this obsessed with all this stuff! I mean, I thought the camping was some sort of phase, but now this." I lament Connor's latest accolade to Cara.

"No, Kevin did the same exact thing Jade, I'm telling you, its like when they get married they get all scared! It's like, 'I'm losing my bachelor status, my manliness!' and they go off and try to mitigate it with some great act of manliness." Cara rolls her eyes, "It's classic, I'm telling you. You just need to wait it out. When Kevin and I got married, he decided he wanted to skydive. Not just skydive, mind you, but become a skydiving instructor. It lasted all of a month, when he did his first jump, and realized that was enough of skydiving for him. Scariest month of my life."

"It's not that I mind Connor being social and joining groups and being outdoorsy, it's just the time commitment. I mean most of the guys in the club are single, and they hike from like 6am to early afternoon every single Saturday morning, with one overnight hiking trip a month. I mean, we're just married! That's a lot of time apart!"

"But that's the whole point," argues Cara, "He must be feeling trapped. They all do. They feel like they've locked away the rest of their life. So they do these things to force themselves to have some space." she takes a sip of her overpriced cocktail, and glances out over the railing of the rooftop bar we're sitting at.

"I don't know Care, Connor has lots of space. Between both of our mentoring, and our separate friends, and my girls nights and girls brunches I mean, it's not like we're attached at the hip!" I say the last bit a little too loudly and an overly made up girl in a black floppy hat glances at me reproachfully from the next table over.

"It's not going to make sense Jade, it's not logical. It's a psychological thing. An illusion, if you will. He'll see that married life is no different from life in a relationship with you, and he'll calm down. Quit the hiking club. Go back to Saturday morning netflix binging with you. The key is to not complain. Don't make him feel more trapped. Let him have all the space he needs. It's like that saying, "If you love something you have to let it go and"...then it'll come back? Or something? I don't know, but you definitely need to just let him get it out of his system."

The waiter places our crab dip on the table, and I practically salivate at the smell of old bay.

"Might be a little late for that." I say sheepishly.

"Why's that?" Cara's trying to catch some crap dip that's falling off her peta slice.

"I kind of went crazy on him last night when he presented the idea. Told him no way were we, as newlyweds, going to commit to spending basically an entire weekend day apart every single weekend, considering we barely see each other during the week anyway. I got pretty mad."

"What did he do?"

"He just kept asking me to consider it, and then when I wouldn't, he got mad too and said I didn't get to control him like I was his mother. I probably shouldn't even be telling you this. He didn't mean it, it was just all in the heat of the moment you know?"

"Yeah, everyone does it. But hey, don't worry about it, just go back and say you've thought it through and you think he should join. You'll be like the perfect wife, letting him do whatever he wants even when you don't want to. And now he'll owe you."

"I guess. You're probably right." I'm less than excited at Cara's support of Connor over me.

My phone is buzzing on the table, and Connor's picture pops up on it. I'm tempted to ignore the call, but instead I swipe to accept it, mouthing an apology to Cara as I do.

"Yep."

"I see I'm still not out of the dog house."

I sigh, "No, you are, I'm sorry. Look, I've done some thinking and you're right, if you want to do it, then you get to decide that. I think you should sign up for the hiking club."

"I really appreciate that babe. I know you're going to miss me, and I'm going to miss you, but this is something I really feel I need to do. I'm so glad you've come around and can understand that."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Let me make it up to you. Founding Farmers tonight? I think there's a bowl of chocolate mousse calling your name...kind of like this bouquet of flowers I have here. I literally can hear it softly whispering, 'Jade...Jade....Jade'."

I can't help but smile at the prospect of my favorite restaurant.

"Well, I guess I could be persuaded to indulge in some chocolate deliciousness." my tone is still reluctant, but in a non-serious way.

"Persuaded? I would have thought the words 'Founding Farmers' alone would have you jumping on me like a dog with a bone."

I laugh, "Alright, you got me, I forgive you. Are you home yet? I'm still at lunch with Cara, and I think I'm going to need some more time before the one...or two glasses of wine we've consumed wears off."

"Take your time! I'm at the hardware store, trying to find those planters we wanted for the backyard."

"Oh awesome, your the best babe!"

"Don't I know it! I'll let you get back to your wine and gossip. See you before dinner?"

"For sure! Love you!"

I hang up with Connor, a sappy smile on my face, as Cara watches me knowingly.

"All good in Jade and Connor world? Back to the life of married bliss?" she raises one eyebrow.

"Okay, okay" I laugh, "You were right, you were right! Next rounds on me!"

She grins, and sips down the remaining contents of her wine glass, "Can't argue with that!"