Mend my Broken Heart (Black Butler/ Ciel x OC fanfiction)

Ch. 6: Unexpected Secrets

Panic taunted every inch of my very being as I sat on the edge of the queen sized bed in my dorm, my head in my hands. My face felt warm, and my stomach churned with anxiety. I either wanted to throw up or cry. Or both.

Maurice Cole knew my identity.

I had run from Ciel all the way back to the dorm. His state of confusion was enough to cause me to feel sorry, although I could only think of myself. What was I going to do? The headmaster would surely kick me out, and then my father would disown me. It hadn't mattered how close of acquaintances my father and the headmaster were - I would be kicked to the English streets to soon be forgotten.

A soft knock rang at the wooden door before it opened slowly with a creak. I averted my gaze to the doorway, my eyes puffy as tears threatened them. I sniffled, blinking as Ciel's figure brought itself to the doorway.

God, how embarrassing.

"Victor," Ciel said, walking over to the bed. He sat beside me, politely keeping his distance although stayed close enough to be comforting. His hands were in his lap awkwardly, and I guessed he never had to comfort someone before. "What was that about?"

I stayed quiet, my head drooping towards the ground. Could I trust Ciel? I hadn't even been able to tell Joanne, and Joanne was the most understanding boy out there.

Ciel's face dropped into a frown. He put his hands on his hips. "Fine, but I can't feel sorry for you if you're feeling sorry for yourself."

I was taken back by his sudden change of demeanor. I looked at him, frowning.

He sighed. "Look, Victor. We all have our secrets," he said, his voice dropping a bit. His gaze seemed to drift as if he fell into a trance. He suddenly snapped out of it and inched himself closer to me. "I'm not going to judge you." his uncovered eye searched for mine and his gaze was soft as it met mine. A soft smile tugged at his lips. "We're friends, after all."

He was right. Friends should keep secrets, right? They should always be there to help you, and if they weren't willing to do so, they were more useless than a mouse in a snake den.

"I'm sorry I've lied to you." I said after moments of silence, my voice soft. A flash of something I couldn't quite make out crossed his features. As quick as it arrived, it disappeared.

"It's okay," he said. "What did you lie about?"

He was close to me now, his eye wide and filled with curiosity. I was hesitant. How would one even bring this up? I did my best to look and act like a boy, and I fit in considering many of the boys at Weston were feminine. Many of them had long hair, much longer than my shoulder-length hair at that. I suppose that wouldn't matter, considering there was no tolerance for women at Weston.

"I'm... not who I say I am," I began, flushing and looking away. I willed myself to swallow my words, to forget about it and refuse to tell him. But something was urging me to tell him, to tell him everything about myself.

"I'm not a boy."

Ciel blinked, a childish look dancing upon his features. "What do you mean you 'aren't a boy?' You can't possibly be-"

I cut him off. "A girl."

A blush spread across Ciel's cheeks. His mouth was agape slightly, his features forming into those of shock. He glanced to the bed we were both sitting on and jumped up, brushing himself off. His tongue searched for words, stammering. "H-How did Maurice Cole figure that out?"

"When he pushed me," I said, flustering. "He pushed my chest."

Ciel's blush grew redder. His gaze turned away from me, and he seemed to be attempting to collect himself. "And he's going to take it to the headmaster. To get you kicked out of Weston."