Defying the King [IU #1]

XXII

"Bumalik siya, anong gusto mong gawin ko? Tulungan kitang salubungin siya?"

My words came out in a sarcastic manner. I thought that it was all about a serious matter that caused him distress. Ano naman ngayon kung bumalik ang first love niya? Hindi naman ako magagalit kung gan'on ang siste. Mas mabuti nga 'yun nang hindi niya na ipagpilitan sa akin na gusto niya ako kahit na hindi naman talaga siya seryoso.

I pulled myself away from him, "Good for you. At least, malinaw na gusto mo talaga siya at hindi ako." Ngumiti ako at tinapik ang balikat niya, "Oh 'di ba? Sabi na eh, nagkakamali ka lang."

I tried to sound happy, to lighten up the mood but it was futile. Ewan ko. Siguro ay nasanay lang ako na parati niyang pinaparamdam sa akin kapag may pagkakataon na gusto niya ako. Na kahit alam niyang malabong maibalik ko ang nararamdaman niya para sa akin, na-a-appreciate ko ang ibang ginagawa niya. Na kahit papaano, napapagaan niya ang loob ko. Dahil kung tutuosin, sa mga tuwing miserable ako, parati siyang naka-abang.

Para akong high school student sa nararamdaman ko ngayon. ' Yung pakiramdam na kapag may nagdeklara na may gusto siya sa'yo, kahit hindi parehas ang nararamdaman mo, ayaw mo na magkaroon siya ng gusto sa ibang tao. Gusto mo na ikaw lang ang crush niya at ayaw mo ng kahati kahit pa sabihing wala namang kayo.

At ngayon ganito ang mga bagay na naiisip ko, wala akong ibang gustong gawin kung hindi ay iuntog ang sarili ko sa pader. Hindi naman ako ganito kung mag-isip noon. Ngayon lang nang lumipat ako sa IU.

"Are you really that dense?" Came his reply to my statement. His lips were pressed while his eyes were glinted with an intense emotion. Here we go again, I am drowning once more.

Even if I was in trance, I masked it with a frown, "Dense? Sino ang nangaladkad at nangyakap na lang bigla? Sino sa ating dalawa ang nagsabi na bumalik na ang first love niya? Ikaw 'di ba?" I pointed an accusing finger at him, "You clearly shove it on my face that your first love is back that caused you a dilemma for I don't fucking know the reason why."

"Can you stop swearing?!" I got startled when he raised his voice, "I am here because I wanted to see you. I am here because I wanted to keep my sanity check. I wanted to make sure of my feelings. Heaven knows that there are so many things I wanted to do but choosing her over you is not included on the list!" Muli ay humakbang siya papalapit at ikinulong niya ako sa kanyang mga braso, ang kanyang mga palad ay nakalapat sa pader.

Tila ba naestatwa ako at ang aking mga mata ay nanatiling nakapako sa kanyang pares na di hamak na mas matingkad kumpara sa kulay ng akin.

"You know what," His gaze shifted on my lips that made me gulp, "I am restraining myself for a long time already and if you are going to act like this, may the heavens help me, I am really going to defile you." He said in contrast to his tone earlier. It took me a lot of courage before I pushed him away from me considering his height.

"I—I'm—"

This time, I heard a chuckle escape from his lips. This guy is really dangerous yet, for some reasons, I can't afford to avoid him. Just like a moth drawn into flames, I can't escape him.

He then leaned forward, his lips dangerously close to mine and I felt the irregular pattern of my heart beats. Tila ba naririnig ko ang tibok ng puso ko at kaunti na lang ay kakawala na ito mula sa aking katawan. Then, in a split second his lips were pressed on my forehead. That gesture me subconsciously made close my eyes. It was definitely not what I am expecting for most of the time, he will pull me and kiss me senseless but this one is definitely way better compared to the former; for I will only get caught.

"When you are acting like this, I can't help but to get in tangled threads of temptation. At the same time, I do not want to scare you that is why I am always walking in a thin line of restrain." Usal niya at ang hininga niya ay amoy ko dulot ng sobrang lapit na distansya sa pagitan naming dalawa.