The Charlotte Series: Book 1: The Pirate's Treasure

chapter 17

"Very well. But silence will not change the truth of it. I endured his despicable hands on me. I endured his beating and his using me in front of those other two...even in front of Lad. He was horrid to me. I cannot take back my innocence. Even if I never speak of what he did to me. Even if you never speak of it, I am ruined. I am alone on a ship full of men, pirates no less."

He leaned back keeping her loosely in the circle of his arms as he searched her face. He gazed into her eyes as if searching for something. What that was she could not say.

"I am shamed, and I am ruined. There is nothing left for me to go home to. I'm sure by now it is common knowledge I was taken by pirates. I have lost so much. Why should I deny myself this bit of pleasure? It is pleasure you give me. I wasn't sure I could enjoy being with someone after...well, after—" she stopped and just looked up at him.

Blakeney took her maidenhead, but she was still innocent. She didn't know what she was doing to him. She couldn't begin to understand how her words affected him. He saw the desire on her face and he knew he should leave at once before he did something they would both regret. He stood and stepped back away from the bed putting distance between them.

He felt himself wavering and turned to walk out. The image of her face full of desire and uncertainty floated before him. He swallowed hard and took a breath. He wanted more than anything to stay but... He reached for the door and let his arm fall. With a sigh he turned and saw the tears glistening in her eyes. That was his undoing.

He didn't want her because of what Blakeney had done? She was good and truly ruined. Martin Smith was a gentleman no matter how he came to be on this ship. She had no right to ask him to stay. He deserved...a lady unspoiled and innocent. She held her breath desperately wanting to call to him but not daring to. She gasped when he stopped at the door and turned to look at her.

"Millicent." He whispered crossing the room in long easy strides.

He stopped abruptly and stood next to the bed. He stood, looking down at her.

"Millicent, you are a lady and I should leave. But you must know that I do not wish to leave you any more than you seem to wish me to leave you."

She didn't speak. She couldn't speak. He desired her.

"I am no lady." She managed at last in a low and breathless voice. "My father is only a Mr. with no title and virtually no respect. Now that I am ruined there is little point in my pretending to be..."

"Enough. I asked you not to speak of it!"

"You did. But as I have already said, silence will not change the fact that it is so. Suppose I did ask you to go. As the gentleman I know you to be you would leave me. And then we would both be unhappy."

"Do you propose then that you are fit only to be my mistress?" He did not like that he was sounding angry.

"Nay I could not presume so much. A mistress has claim to certain affections...but a tryst...It is my understanding that such affairs are common among ..."

"Damn it Millicent!" His anger exploded. She was so mistaken in her ideas. "I will not listen to this nonsense any longer! You are indeed a lady and you are entitled to the same gentle treatment as any other lady. You have suffered unimaginable treatment but you are still a lady. I regret that your father as cruel an ass as ever lived but..."

"You knew my father?" Millicent's eyes grew large.

She looked him and studied his face intently. She had always thought he was familiar...