Lea POV
"Hey cutie." I laughed shaking Riker awake, his like a small child, he gets moody if he doesn't have a afternoon nap, no I'm joking he said he wasn't feeling well and had a nice 5 hour sleep.
"How long was I out for ?" Riker asked rubbing his eyes.
"5 hours, you feeling better now ?" I asked sitting on the edge of the bed.
"I know something that will make me feel better." He laughed pulling me on to him.
2 reasons I didn't want to have sex with Riker, 1. It's too soon after him getting stabbed. 2. He'll want to keep having sex, his like a rabbit, like I ain't complaining but I think me and him need to try easing back into it.
"Baby no, you hurt yourself the other night, maybe once you're all better and healed, I'll make it up to you." I said kissing him "I hate you, remember before the twins came ? Oh yeah our sex like won't change. Nearly 10 months later is the first time we had sex." Riker said.
"Where the fuck were you for 7 months ?" I asked.
"Lea you know I didn't mean it like that, it's just we said things wouldn't change, I know with me touring and stuff things did change but why did we have to change with it ? I love you more than anything in the world but the girl I fell in love with isn't sat in front of me, she's in there somewhere just not here." Riker said making me nod.
"You want another knife to stab me in the back with or are you cool with the one you just put in ?" I asked.
"This is exactly what I'm talking about, you lose your shit over the smallest of things." Riker said sitting up.
"You just said you love me more than anything in the world but the girl you fell in love with isn't sat in front of you, what part of that aren't I allowed to lose my shit over ? You left me alone for 7 months, do you know how many times I looked at the three of them and just went I could walk out, leave three kids alone in the house and not come back ? You weren't there when I needed you the most and yet you wonder why things change ?" I asked closing my eyes as a couple of tears rolled down my cheeks.
I could of walked out on my three children and not feel a single emotion, I wouldn't feel guilty, I wouldn't feel sad. I felt like a worthless Mom who didn't deserve her own children, I could of turned my back on my the biggest part of my world and not feel bad.
"You told me to go on tour Lea, I tried staying but you wouldn't let me, do you know how hard it was for me not seeing my kids face to face ? Not seeing you ? Not being able to hug or kiss you ? Not being able to make you laugh properly without you crying because you missed me ? I tried being there for you, I stayed up every night after a show just to talk to you until I feel asleep just so I could hear your voice before I went to bed like I would at home, come on look at me." Riker said lifting up my chin.
I sighed and opened my eyes laughing as I wiped his eye "you're one of the only guys I know who cries super easily." I smiled.
"It hurts seeing my best friend cry, you know when I kept asking you, if you want me home just say the word and I'll be there ?" Riker asked making me nod "why didn't you ever say the word ?" Riker asked.
"Because you're somebodies role model, you're somebodies hero, you're the one thing that can take someone out of a dark place, you may have your own family you want to take care of but you also have the R5Family, I wasn't going to take someone's dream of meeting you jus-"
"I missed you doing that." I said catching my breath as Riker pulled away resting his head against mine "so have I, how I used to do that as much as I did I don't know." Riker laughed trying to catch his breath.
"We're getting old, we're closer to 30 then 20." I laughed.
"At least I'm getting old with you." Riker smiled, I shook my head and ran my thumb across his lip "you have the most kissable lips I've ever seen in my entire life and they're all mine." I said pecking his lips.
"You're a pain my ass you know that ?" Riker laughed wrapping his arms around me, I laughed rolling my eyes "you know what I missed the most about us not having sex ?" I asked.
"Us not having sex ?" Riker shrugged.
"The sex is like so fucking mind blowing but no, I miss us just talking and laughing afterwards it's like we used to go from being girlfriend and boyfriend to Bestfriend's without even thinking about it but that's so much cooler then laughing and talking with my boyfriend-"
"Why ? It's the same person." Riker asked giving me a questioning look.
Or is it ? Yes my boyfriend, well fiancé and best friend is the same person but somehow Riker is different in those two ways.
"Because it makes me remember that I'm in love with my best friend and that in all the places in the world, the one place I'd be is where I am, like right now." I said making Riker sigh as he let his head drop.
"It is so hard not to fuck you." Riker said making me laugh, that is one of the best things his ever said, if that doesn't sum up how Riker is around us most of the time I don't know what does.
"Now you know how hard my life is, come on you need to get ready, we're going out for dinner." I said getting up off the bed.
Riker grabbed my hand making me look at him "I love you."
I nodded and kissed his head "I know bro." I smiled walking into the kitchen, Riker sat there for a couple of seconds processing it.
He shook his head making me laugh, I totally just friendzoned my own fiancé, you can do that right ? Like it doesn't have that big effect like it does normally but it can confuse them just as much.
"I don't like you very much." Riker said walking into the kitchen.
"Can you go get dressed or are you going shirtless ? Like I ain't complaining but I'm not sure if you'd be allowed in." I said making him laugh.
"I'm going, I'm going, you wearing that ?" Riker asked grabbing one of his tee shirts and throwing it on.
"Oh no, I'm going naked." I said picking up my drink from earlier, Riker looked at me and burst out laughing "how are you saying that with a straight face ?"
"Easy." I laughed.
"I know it's easy but the way you said it made it sound so serious and the way you drank your drink, like you know it's something you'd normally say." Riker said.
I'll update my best friends Guy tomorrow as I may be going to A&E with a sprained ankle but we have to wait because there's a huge accident and we can't move the car so I'll update you guys tomorrow.
