I sat alone in my home, staring at the ceiling as I laid down on my bed. It's been more than four months since I've had fun. I have no girl friends to talk to like Mina and Jaz, I don't have Bangtan anymore, and I don't even have my parents since they're busy with work too.
The loneliness was hitting me hard tonight. I picked up my phone, scrolling through photos of Yoongi & I, and my friends & I as well. I missed them so much. It makes me question if this was a good idea in the first place. I scrolled through my contacts and contemplated calling Yoongi, but eventually decided not to. I'm too far into the plan to go back now. I scrolled up and down, trying to find someone I could talk to. I noticed before Jazmine's name was "Jaehwa".
I thought about contacting him for a minute. Sure it would be risky, but he's the only one I could go to now. Plus he says he's changed, maybe he has.
—
New Message to: 재화 (Jaehwa)
안녕, 뭐해 ? [a/n: im tryna practice the limited korean words that i know ok] anneyeong, mwo-hae ? hey, what's up ?
—
About 2 minutes later I got a reply. I wasn't used to this. Whenever I used to text Yoongi I'd get a reply 2 hours later, not 2 minutes.
—
재화 271101 21:12
Me hey, what's up ?
Jaehwa: nothing much, u ?
same .. so uhm .. u doing anything tonight ?
no, y ? u finally think i've changed ? ;-)
hmm, maybe. but honestly im just bored and lonely
ahh ic, its ok. I'll pick you up in 10 minutes. we'll go somewhere and u wont be bored or lonely anymore :-)
o ok sure ^^ Read: 21:14
cant wait to see u~
—
I was honestly scared to see him, not knowing what he may do to me; but I was at the lowest point of desperation of interaction with people. It was to the point where stooped as low as hanging out with my abusive ex-boyfriend. I haven't went out with a friend or anyone in months and this was better than nothing.
I quickly changed into something decent and put a simple layer of makeup on then heard the doorbell ring a couple minutes afterwards.
"Hey ! You look great !" I heard Jae say as I opened the front door.
"Shut up" I joked as I closed the door behind me. We then headed to his car and he opened my door for me like a gentleman. "Oh, thank you .." I said shyly, getting inside the vehicle.
Once we were both in the car, he asked me where I wanted to go.
"I don't know. I haven't been here in forever and I haven't done any exploring since I got here. You can choose where we go."
"Hmm .. I know where wee can go actually" He replied, starting the car.
"Where ?"
"You'll see in a few minutes ..."
Me being insecure and not trusting, I thought he was going to take me back to his house; but in reality, he brought us to a cute little 24 hour cafe.
"Wow, this was a lot better than I imagined you would take me" I said as I admired the aesthetics of the little coffee shop. There were bulb string lights across the ceiling, comfy-looking arm chairs and delicious smelling coffee.
"I thought you would like it here. I usually come here when I feel lonely or need to think." He said as he gave me a smile. I gave him a small smile back.
We ordered ourselves some coffees and a couple of slices of cake to share. He paid for everything and insisted to do so. His generosity and sensitivity was throwing me off. I wasn't used to seeing him being this kind.
We sat down at a small table with the comfy-arm chairs, sitting across from each other. As we sat and talked, I let out everything going through my mind and how I've been feeling for the past few months since I left Yoongi. It was the first time putting my thoughts to words, explaining how I truly feel. All the confusion and contemplation if this was the right decision, how much I miss everyone back in Seoul, how I constantly think of Yoongi every day, etc. At one point, I began to tear up from all the talk about everyone that I miss, Jae surprisingly got up from his seat and crouched down in front of me to give me a comforting hug.
"I know it hurts, but good things don't come easily. To be happy, there needs to be sacrifice. Don't think that this was a bad idea, it'll just take awhile to get to the good part of this idea." He said supportively.
He also went on to saying that Yoongi should've spent more time with me, because you're never too busy for the ones you love. You make time if you really cared about them; and he was right.
"You were a good girlfriend to him and he barely noticed it. He never truly appreciated it. If I was him I'd be so happy to have you. You sacrificed your own happiness for his success. If that isn't love then I don't know what is."
After a few hours, two lattes, and 3 slices of cake, we decided to head back to my place.
Once we arrived, I invited him inside so we could continue our conversation. "Wow, nothing changed since I was last here." He said, observing the familiar place.
We sat on the couch in my living room and continued talking about how I felt, but it also steered the conversation into different directions. We talked about how his life in Juvie was, our interests at the moment, memories, etc. We talked for hours, time was irrelevant at this point. I found myself leaning on his shoulder at one point of the night while we were talking and I began falling asleep like that.
"J-Jae ..." I said quietly, yawning.
"Yeah ?"
"Thank you for hanging out with me ... I needed this ..." I said, beginning to doze off.
"No problem, just call me anytime you wanna chill. Did you enjoy tonight ?" He whispered. I didn't answer as I had already fallen asleep.
"I hope so. I definitely did." He said, stroking my hair softly.
—
a/n :
i h8 jaehwa tbh.
also !! I dont think ive said thank you for 1k yet .. tHANKS FOR 1K READS !! I LOVE YALL
also,,,,,, when i was checking my spelling for korean words used in this chapter, i checked "jaehwa" and his translation is so IRONIC,, lmaoooo
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