The day we've all been waiting for has finally come. Bangtan Sonyeondan, BTS, has debuted.
We all sat together in the dance practice room with their staff as their debut music video uploaded to YouTube. As soon as it was uploaded, the boys sprung up and cheered. We were all so happy for them, and they were happy for themselves as well. They've worked so hard for the past two years. Countless sleepless nights of writing songs, practicing choreography, learning different languages, as well as the lifestyle of a typical idol.
During this time, I tried to contain myself. Yes, this was a happy moment; but I couldn't help but think of what was yet to come. I thought training was hard on our relationship, but this was just the beginning. Now that they were idols, they would be doing training as well as preparing for other things like award shows or tours. Not to mention the amount of girls fawning over them. Of course I was happy that they're finally achieving their dreams, but I can't help but be a little selfish.
I tried to keep my mind off of those negative thoughts and enjoy the party and be happy for my boys. Yoongi walked over to me quickly and hugged me tightly, picking me up and spinning me around. A wide smile grew across my face as he did that. He carried me over to where the rest of Bangtan was and placed me in the middle as they all hugged around me. All my negative thoughts finally went away as I was surrounded by my family.
We all sat in front of a TV screen which was connected to a laptop, playing their music video– No More Dream. We were all excited to see how everything turned out.
"yamma ni ggumeun mwoni, yamma ni ggumeun mwoni, yamma ni ggumeun mwoni, ni ggumeun gyeou geugeoni" We heard Rapmon begin. He looked flustered, but the boys continued hyping him up.
"I wanna big house, big cars & big rings, But sasireun I dun have any big dreams, haha nan cham pyeonhage sareo, ggum ddawi an ggwodo amudo mwora an hajanheo" I screamed like a fangirl as I saw Yoongi appear on the screen, rapping his verse.
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"YAHH~~ THAT'S MY OPPAAAA !!!!" I cheered excitedly.
Yoongi hid his face, blushing at me fangirling, but cringing at himself in the video.
"Oppa why did they put 'Suga' as your name ? I thought you don't like being called that." I wondered.
"Bang PD-nim liked that as my stage name better, so I just went with it" He shrugged.
"Ahh .. Wow, Oppa you look so good~" I continued fangirling.
It was now the chorus and Mina looked unstable.
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After seeing Jimin reveal his abs and do their /sensual/ dance, she legitimately went up to the laptop and paused the video to yell at Jimin.
"PARK JIMIN-OPPA ?!!"
"Mwo, Jagiya ?" Jimin replied scared.
"HOW DARE YOU LIFT YOUR SHIRT UP AND REVEAL THOSE ABS !! YOU'RE MAKING ME FEEL SO .. AGHHH,, YOU LOOK SO HOT. I JUST– I'M SO–" She couldn't even finish her sentence, the fangirling got to her.
Jimin got up and went over to her to hug her while laughing. She made all of us laugh from the way she idolized him. I bet that's how the fans are feeling right now.
We then continued watching the rest of the music video, cheering on our boys and their first step to many achievements.
—
After a couple of hours, Yoongi was elsewhere; talking with some of the staff while I was sitting alone. As I sat there, my anxious thoughts began to consume me again.
He'll never have time for you, ever. Imagine all of the girls he'll meet. And all the times he'll be out of town or even the country. He'll be ten times busier than before. He'll just forget about you.
I shook my head, 'Stop thinking like this, [Y/N]' I thought to myself. I decided to step outside onto the balcony for a few minutes to get some fresh air and clear my thoughts.
"He'll find a way to spend time with me. He could never forget about me, I'm his girlfriend. I need to stop being selfish." I told myself, over and over again. But it wasn't helping. The anxiety was hitting hard.
I looked out to the cityscape from the balcony. It reminded me of the good old times back at Yoongi's old apartment. The way we used to sit on the edge of the building and watch the sun set, or the cars drive by below. It looked just liked what I was seeing now. This only made me feel worse. I started missing the times before he entered the company.
After a few minutes of being drowned in my thoughts, I heard the door to the balcony open, followed by a familiar voice.
"Babygirl ? What are you doing out here ? It's cold, you should be inside."
"O-Oh, I just needed some fresh air Oppa, that's all."
"Ahh I see, well come in soon okay ?"
"Oppa, could you stay here with me for a minute before I go in ?
"Of course, baby."
He stood next to me and we leaned against the railing. It was silent for a minute until he interrupted that.
"This reminds me of when we would always go on the rooftop back home .."
"That's exactly what I was thinking ... I miss that. I miss those days." I said, nonchalantly.
"Me too .." He replied.
"Oppa, can I talk to you about something ?" I started, I think I should tell him how I feel now. It'll only be delayed more if I wait.
"Sure, what do you wanna talk about ?"
"So, the thing is .. Sometimes, Oppa, I feel kind of–"
"YOONGI-SSI !! BANG PD-NIM IS CALLING YOU !!!" One of the staff members interrupted. Well there goes trying to tell him how I feel.
"Sorry, babygirl. Tell me later okay ? The boss is calling, this must be important." He said, rushing out the door.
"Aren't I important too ?" I said to myself quietly.
—
a/n :
things are about to get more intense after this chapter now that they've debuted ;-)
