Bite the Bullet 【Camila/You】

《Chapter 11》

Y/N's P.O.V

"What kind of mess have we gotten ourselves into."

I opened sleepy eyes to a soft and soothing voice, realising Camila had been mumbling quietly to herself. The words sounded oddly familiar, almost as if I'd thought the exact same thing to myself at some point before.

"Oh," Camila lets out a quiet gasp of surprise, her eyes widening when she realized that I was actually conscious, "I didn't mean to wake you." 

I simply returned the apology with a shrug; I'd rather be awake than sleeping nowadays. The girl I see in my dreams is right in front of me, so it didn't really make a difference to me either way.

"But it's true isn't it?" Camila lowered her face to hide it in my shirt, her voice now muffled by the fabric. "We're just in one giant mess."

I wanted to agree but no sounds came out. Instead a silence settled for a good couple of seconds before Camila quickly corrected herself.

"Sorry, I meant me. I'm in one giant mess." I felt her let out a tired sigh, trying to snuggle her face deeper into my shirt. "I shouldn't have gotten you involved in this."

"No, no, you got it right the first time." Camila lifted her head to then tilt it, making her confusion at my statement quite obvious. "It's definitely a we." The brunette's eyes soften and she reaches her arm up to hold my hand tightly in her own.

"Us?" Something beautiful sparkled in her eyes, and it looked an awful lot like hope to me.

"Us." I nod, confirming that I'm with her on this. I wanted her to know she wasn't alone. Camila's smile spread wider across her face, only making me want to smile even more. But there was a question burning on the tip of my tongue and I couldn't pass up this opportunity.

"Camila...?" I waited until her brown eyes met mine again before I spoke. "What's going on?" I thanked my stars when she didn't cut herself off from me or look away, she maintained steady eye contact and remained silent for a few beats. Her face contorted into a couple different expressions before it settled on hurt, and that was when she finally spoke.

"I can't tell you yet." Wetness pooled in the corners of Camila's eyes. "Y/N... You have to trust me." I couldn't help but frown at the lack of answers, but she hasn't left me yet. Surely I couldn't end up anymore hurt than I have been.

"I trust you." I swallowed heavily, the words shaking upon leaving my mouth.

"Do you?" She propped herself up over me so I couldn't avoid her chocolate brown stare.

"I do." Even though I was being as sincere as possible, there were still tears forming in Camila's eyes. I didn't want to see her cry. "Camila, what's wrong?"

"Y/N." Her bottom lip quivered slightly, her arms were shaking; this was the honest Camila that I loved. "Why can't you see?" I could do nothing but stare up into her eyes, watching the tears glisten as they threatened to spill over. I stared endlessly into Camila's eyes and I could've sworn I could see her heart in that moment. I have looked into these eyes so many times before, but not like this. Not like this.

When I look into her eyes I see the hurt of having to pretend. I can see the nervousness of the girl that begged me to kiss her in her own bedroom. I see them constantly scanning the classroom to make sure no one sees her holding my hand under the table. The same hands that hold mine are the ones that constantly push Austin away and instead entangle in my hair, trace the skin on my face and gently brush over my lips. And her lips, they may press against Austin's, but they only move avidly when caressed by my own.