Bite the Bullet 【Camila/You】

《Chapter 9》

A/N: SURPRISE!!! :LASKJFASLKDJ

My phone vibrated one hundred and twenty eight more times before it eventually became silent at some time around four o'clock in the morning. I know that's exactly how many it was because I counted. Somehow my brain would block out the sounds of my pathetic sobbing to make sure I knew how many texts I had received.

Because I knew it was Camila trying to contact me. I knew it was. But I didn't want to see or hear from her ever again.

I kept trying to convince myself that with everything inside of me until I eventually fell asleep.

--

I felt like shit waking up the next morning.

I could barely will my limbs to move and drag my sorry existence out of the bed that I wish I could just melt into and drown in the sheets that had cradled my tears for the past twelve hours.

But I had to go to school.

It was so cold outside that it may aswell have been Antarctica, but it was nothing compared to the ice I felt wrapped around my barely beating heart. This said, I made sure to dress into a hoodie and long pants before grabbing my backpack. What I would do to protect my heart from the cold, I was still yet to figure out.

I was too busy being plagued by all the negative emotions you could imagine that I could hardly think to even try and come up with a solution or way out of this mess I'd dug myself into.

Betrayal pulled the upper lids of my lifeless eyes so my gaze was constantly trained on the evermoving pavement in front of me, guilt settled in my stomach still attempting to get me to turn around and go back home.

The headstrong impulsiveness in my brain was continually convincing me that ignoring the root of this situation was definitely the best way to go about handling anything.

And with that, I willed my heavy legs to slide across the concrete one after the other and drag my body into the school grounds. Whether my mind and heart were still all there or not; I wasn't sure of.

And don't get me wrong, I know this is all my fault. I know that I shouldn't have agreed to any of this. I know that from the very beginning, I knew it would end up like this. I knew this is exactly what I was afraid of.

It just doesn't make it hurt any less.

I'm just still not sure if those few weeks of happiness were worth it.

Being late for class, I knew I should usually be able to come up with some kind of good excuse, but I just didn't care. I thanked the lords above that Lauren wasn't in any of my classes today, because by golly I know there's no way I can even begin to explain any of this mess to her. I wanted to be able to confide in her and tell her all of the things worrying me, but this was all my fault and she didn't deserve to be burdened with even the slightest thought on anything to do with this.

I would just text her that I would be staying after class to study extra today, she'd surely believe that.

When I found myself in the seat in the back row of Maths class, my eyes didn't move from the ground in front of me.

I didn't want to see Camila. I knew that if I looked into her warm brown eyes for even a second, I would hear her out. My heart would take over in just enough time to convince my brain that that's a good idea. It's not; I don't want to see-

"Camila?" The name flowed off of the teacher's tongue, obviously doing roll call, it being the first word I'd heard anyone say today.

Silence.