Shattered

08

"I let it go. It's like swimming against the current. It exhausts you. After a while, whoever you are, you just have to let go, and the river brings you home." 

by Joanne Harris.

I inhaled and exhaled shakily as I parked near the back of the parking lot. I rubbed the back of my neck as I eyed the school entrance. There were herds of humans and werewolves huddled in their groups. I had already attracted the eyes of my pack mates and I was dreading the next couple hours of school. It seemed so daunting. My knuckles were turning white from how tightly I was holding the steering wheel. My hands were beginning to ache from how strong my hold was; my shoulders were tight and my body felt restless—almost jumpy. My heartbeat was racing, nearly exploding. I was sure the werewolves surrounding the area could hear it.

My stomach was rolling and my fingers felt cold. I gritted my teeth unsure how to proceed. Was I ready for this? I didn't feel like I was. Maybe I should go home, I whispered gently. I felt my shoulders hunch forward. I wasn't being forced to go to school...but I needed to push myself to do this.

If you think it is best to try again some other week then we can return to the safety of our home, Skye, no one will judge you, My wolf reassures sweetly with an understanding voice.

My insides clench as I continue to stare at the entrance of my school. I could feel the stares as they branded themselves into my skin. A small whimper trembled on my lips as I continued to steady my breathing. I could do this. If to became too much, I could leave. No one would stop me; they would understand.

Everything was going according to me and no one else.

But was I ready? Was I ready to face the two people who have shattered my heart and soul? Was I ready to face the stares of pity from my pack mates and teachers? My shoulders were shaking with the sudden weight of world; there was an never-ending storm in my mind. I pressed my forehead against the steering wheel as I exhaled heavily.

I could do this, I told myself with a small quake in my voice.

I need to do this, I reminded a bit firmer.

I have to do this, I hissed to myself.

A sudden tap on my window had me jumping in my seat. My head snapped up and eyes meeting those of one of my close friends'; Alice. The red-head bombshell was staring at me with a gentleness I had never seen her use before. Her spring green eyes reminded me of one of the herbs I had. Behind her stood several others; all of them with their shoulders back and strong postures and chests puffed out.

Determination and pride were gleaming in their eyes.

"You're not going to stand alone," Her voice was the peacefulness of a warm summer's breeze and I felt my dread wash away almost instantly, "We are here for you, Skye," There was only understanding and warmth in her voice.

My stomach was swirling with warmth. My heart beginning to steady and my breathing felt easier now, not so suffocating. I gave a curt nod and finally pried my stone-hard grip on the steering wheel—my fingers stiff as they quickly regained blood flow and color. I grabbed my backpack from the passenger side and with newfound courage; I opened my door.

My friends' all greeted me with warm and happy smiles but none of them stepped forward; they were waiting for permission for physical contact. Alice was the first one to offer her cheek to me; touching of cheeks meant many things depending on the situation. This one stood for solidarity. The gesture was a sign from them to me that they were going to stand by my side.