After New York (sequel to Gift of a voice )

I Need Saving

A couple days later I have another therapy session with Kat, I drive myself there, walk in and sit down starting to talk to her.

"How has it been going Bella ?"

"Some things have been great but other things haven't been so good"

"Like what?"

"A few days ago, I found out my best friend I've know since I was born, that she took her own life, I took it really hard I still am. I miss her and wish I could have said a proper goodbye instead of the last time seeing her and fighting." I say wiping away a fallen tear.

"What about New York, anything about that bothering you ?"

"Some of it, but I'm try to push it to the back of my mind and focus on anything besides it"

"Sometimes the best way to get over something is to face it, let it not take control , but I suggest you do it in your own time when your ready, I don't want you to do something your not ready for and set you back. What your doing now trying to focus on other things is good"

"It's become to much, I can't handle it anymore, it just happens, one after another. I feel as if I'm trapped in a night mare with no way out and I just want to end it all " I say looking down to the floor.

I might seem like I'm okay and that I don't need help but I do, I'm scared, I'm scarring myself. I just want the nightmare to be over but it's on replay, a never ending movie that I have to watch everyday of my life and be haunted by. I thought I could get over this and move on but I can't, I can't be the old me again that I want to be. The darker side of me is coming out, the side of me, I tried so hard to hide from not only everyone around me but from myself. Cause when that side is out, I won't ever be able to hide it again, once people see it they won't want to know me and they'll leave just like everyone else and I'll have to fight my demons alone.

Sacrifice all my friendships and relationship if that side gets out. That side of me is dark and a scary place, where my thoughts make me question if I should be here or not. There the thoughts people are to scared to talk about and know, so I keep them bottled up and it gets worse. I need saving but I don't know who's going to save me or if anyone can. How is anyone going to save me when I can't even save myself.

Hey guys hoped you liked the chapter, it's a lot deeper then others and I like it. Your seeing more how everything that has happened and how it's effects Bella to a lager scale. You'll find out more about what happened in New York you just have to keep reading. Let me know what you thought, please keep voting and commenting they mean a lot. Have an amazing day if you weren't already and intill next time,

Bye for now❤!!