I pleaded my brothers not to make me go to school. I had exams in majority of my class but I didn't even study. I didn't want to fail. I was going to study today going in tomorrow knowing I was going to Ace them. I wasn't going to settle for any less.
I was sore and so tired yesterday from conditioning that when I got home I just did my hair, showered and went to sleep. I even forgot to eat. Thank the Lord for brother's though they brought me some Mickey D's.
I got on the phone with Jr for a while before really studying.He was clowning me for limping. I really wanted to make this track team and my body was coming in nice but the pain that came with it was another series. Not even a story.
These AP classes weren't no joke either but I had to do right so I can make my family proud of me. If there's anything I prayed for the most it was making my family and peers proud of me. I guess I wasn't a baby of the family anymore I don't get as much attention as I use to. I was really happy though that knife in between my mattress haven't been pulled out in months. God really has been working with me. Prayers really works. It takes time but it works.
I got out of the room to take a break and eat but mid-way Reese ask me where did I think I was going.
" To get food.." in a duh tone I answered because I was clearly headed to the direction of the kitchen.
" Not like that" he said seizing my fit. I'm at home and I can't even wear shorts and a tank around the house. I wasn't going to talk back but changed into sweats and a hoodie. It was cold anyways.
Obviously I wasn't the only one cold. Metri had a whole beanie on boots and a hoodie on top. Reese was casual with the RL sweater. I plotted in my head how I was going to take that in the future. Tray one of their friends more like brother had the bomber, boots, gloves and beanie too. They are so extra. I took a picture for snapchat " They so extra. It's not even that cold" adding the temperature on the screen.
It was more funny cause Tray actually posed.
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" TRAAAYY" I hugged him. I haven't seen him in ages. Other than the day of my mom's birthday but we didn't really speak. He was a rapper. Not like the guys that claim they can rap talk about things they don't live. He was really official. Everyone in our state knew who he was and played him all the time. I didn't listen to him so much just because drill music wasn't really my preference. He was barely home because of performances that Metri never let me go to. I was happy that he was making a way for hisself rather than still being in the streets.
" Ayyee back up. Ya'll too close" Demetri said separating us with a big gun he had that I didn't even see earlier.
" Cmon now. I understand if it was another guy but thats Tray. If you so worried why you have him over here all the time?"
" Yeah, its just Tray" Tre cooed and I laughed. They both glared at me but I didn't care I was about to get my grub on. Tray was playing like Metri and Reese couldn't just jump him. That would be too funny. I find it funny how guys think its so fun to play fight. They're so aggresive with it to. No matter how hard they hit each other or how much blood leaks they still make up at the end. That's cool and all but, for guys. I never wanted to try that cause there was no forgiving afterwards for me.
I decided on cooking for them and I chose to cook up some pickled cabbage slaw, baby back ribs, and rice. After I finished they where all under me so I took my food to eat in peace in my room.
I scrolled on Instagram and I saw that this one associate of mines liked and commented on a recent pic. Reason for her being called an associate is because I couldn't from any corner of this earth find myself trusting her. She was the type to know everything. She talked about people to me calling them ugly and was able to point out every imperfection they had. I knew what it was likely for her to be doing the same about me to others about so I never indulged into her mess. She even hinted that I was ugly once but I remained unfazed because she wasn't so good looking herself. Maybe if she was I would feel some type of way.
Even if I felt like I needed someone to talk to she would probably be the last on my list. If you tell me these things about other people why would you expect me to believe that the things I say to you will remain between you and I? Thats the way I see things.
No matter who you are, I inspect how you act with others as well as how you act with me. I can say that there is no one in this world that knows me. Not Jeremiah whose my best-friend, not my siblings, or Levi whose been here since grade school.
I taught myself to be limited in words and observe more. One of my favorite bible verses is Proverbs 10: 19 which reads :
The more talk, the less truth; the wise measures their words.
Also, James 1: 19 which reads :
He who restrains his words has knowledge, And he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.
I let people know just what I want them to know about me. I smiled at how wise I sounded in my thoughts. I felt an exponential growth.
I wrapped up my thoughts of me reminiscing closed my books so I could nap. I set an alarm so I could go back to studying later on. I said a silent prayer before dozing off .
