" har har har you just think you so funny huh?" after a few months of talking to my " friend" I kinda like this guy. As a friend of course. I shook of the thoughts of him trying to use me and slowly let my guards down. What do you know I actually know his name, Jeremiah pronounced Yeh Ri My Uh.
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I guess now you could say I replaced Levi (Best-friend) cause the guy forgot all about me. He don't even text me no more let alone speak in person. I told myself I wasn't going to do the double texting game anymore so my phone was back to being dry. I'm thuggin' by myself.
" you stay cappin' just keep it a thou" he teased.
" leave me alone..typical light skin" I mumbled the end but loud enough for him to hear.
" brownskin" he corrrected. G wanted to me brownskinned so bad. I don't blame him though. We the ish. I reverted the conversation back to this homework. We don't have the same classes but our teachers are doing the same thing and what a way to get answers, you dig?
In the middle of our study session Fetty Wap x Montana of 300- Let It Bang came on. I didn't know how to act. I had to cut up for the one time.
" Don't fck 'round with my baby I swear she let it BANNNNNNGGGG" I kept repeating. Jeremiah was gassing me up and I was yelling of the top of my lungs. I honestly didn't know I was THAT LOUD until my mom bursted in giving me the death stare like she wanted to snatch my soul. She was yelling something but I kept my earbuds in not hearing a word over the loud music still playing.
I have a habit of laughing in serious predicaments so I tried to contain my giggles but it wasn't working with dude dying on the other end of my line. I probably looked like Celie with me covering my mouth and all with my ugly laugh and with these ugly braids in.
She left still a little mad. I can't take anything serious no wonder she's always on my peaches.
-
Out of nowhere he asked a question that instantly put me in the zone. It was already late so to put a girl in her feelings wasn't too hard.
" You mad cool why you be by yourself? Your friends leave you?" Throwing my joke back at me. I could laugh and just play it off but I felt a tear fighting to come out.
"Nah, they not like yours" I low-key lied and added a chuckle.
"Then where they be at" he said sounding a little too intrigued by my response. This topic was too heavy for me to speak on. So many flashbacks came to me from my youngin' days all at once. The one tear escaped and brought friends along.
"YEESSSS MOOOMM" I shouted acting like I was being called. As I turned my head still playing the role like I was being called I swiftly wiped the tears away.
" Jeremiah, imma have to call you later. Meet me in the am for the the other work"
"Alright bet" and with that I hung up.
I still had to go to my mother to justify me yelling her name. When she said she didn't call out for me I went back in my room, laid on the bed and, stared at the ceiling while tear drops fell. I let them fall till they ran past my ears and felt ticklish and then did I wipe them.
"Mitri why you think Elynn haven't been texting me like that anymore"
"Ion know, she probably busy. Ask her"
I took that as the go to and do what I've been wanting to do for the longest. I didn't wan't seem like a bug or thirsty or nothing but it wasn't like her to talk to me and reply after 6 hours at a time.
I went to look for that itty bitty device of mines hurrying to talk to my friend.
Riri: FRIIIEEENNDD
Riri: we fell off wassuh?
Next I had to wait for my response. I laid for a solid twenty before I heard the DING! making me jump anxiously.
" Sorry, I've been busy.Girl I barely have time for myself. Call you later?"
I laughed and shot her a " OK".
Later that night being bored I was bored and decided to use Mitri's phone while mines charged. I scrolled through Instagram till something caught my attention. Someone was playing "let me tell you about" game so I was being nosy and thought to read through them . I was so shocked and lost for words at what I came across....it's explainable.
The post read:
Some Aggy Nat: FRIIIEEENNDD
Some Aggy Nat: we fell off wassuh?
It was our messages. Me and Elynn's messages. It was posted on a spam account. I found it so unbelievable I went to grab my phone and checked through my feed. I didn't see it. I felt a little relieved and thought maybe my eyes deceive me. I searched up the account name and seen I wasn't even following it but sure enough it was private. The account sure did exist though which made my heart fall below zero. Putting it back in charge I continued to read off of Demetrius' phone.
Caption read:
Somebody come get this little nat. She's so annoying. IF I DON'T TEXT OR CALL I DON'T WANNA BE BOTHERED BY YOU! Let me tell ya'll about this one here. I admit and as unfortunately as it is I WAS friends with her. But, she's so boring all she does is cry and say how she wishes her father was in her life like I DUN'T CARE MY FATHER IS IN MINES TF. If it wasn't for her hair ( can't lie doe you got some good hair chy) you would be a lil monk. But, your cool or whatever lol. #NoInstagramRi
What did I just read. I felt so dumb I read it again. I let a few tears slip before I became infuriated. If anything she should be the one that's a bad friend. Yea, her father is in her life but when he beats on you and your mom who is there to let you know your still important and stirred you from committing suicide. ME! Who had her back and was about to get her junt rocked? ME! When she felt down cause all her " friends" were being snakes ? Let me guess. Oh yeah it was ME! But yet they the ones in the comment section gassing her up. My tears fell to fast like a waterfall.
Thats not even the half of the reason I have insecurity problems though. I try to avoid that tragic memory and push it far away. In a sense I'm glad it happened. I tell my self all the time that everything in your life that goes wrong needs to be a lesson. God does everything for a reason and doesn't make mistakes. There is always something to learn from a situation it's just my job to know what that is.
