All I Want. {Sequel Mr. Mendes}

Forgive Me.

Alexis.

It's been three weeks...three weeks after I possibly made the biggest mistake of my life.  I said goodbye to Shawn and didn't even tell him that I loved him.

I felt so guilty that I've been ignoring his calls.  Every time I try to get up the courage to call him back and apologize, I can't.

Right now I was back in Colorado for my birthday.  It was January, and we were about to go into the month of romance, and that sickened me.

Every night I thought about Shawn and how he was hurting because of my stupid mistake.  I decided that I couldn't take this anymore.  I picked up the phone from the nightstand of the hotel room I was in.

I went into my contacts and found his number.  I looked down at the ring I was wearing and hoped everything would be alright.  The phone started ringing and within a few seconds, he answered.

"Shawn?" I mumbled under my breath, feeling my eyes fill with tears.

"Alexis," he said in relief and that already assured me that I would be okay.

"Shawn I'm so-" he cut me off before I could finish.

"Baby don't apologize, you were scared, and I know that you love me," he said and I smiled again.

"Thank you," I whispered and the line went silent.

"For what?" He questioned.

"Everything.  For being here.  For staying, just everything," I sighed and felt a small tear rolls down my cheek.

"Babe, I'll always be here.  It's you and me until the end, and me leaving you is absolutely ludicrous," he said which made me cry even more.

"Aw Lex, please don't cry," he said, but I couldn't help it.

He's jut so sweet to me that it hurts sometimes.  At times, I think about what I did to deserve a man like him.  I mean after everything we've been through in the past and now, he's still in love with me.

"I-I can't help it," I stuttered, "I just wish you were here with me right now to hold me."

"Well maybe I am," he mumbled and I stood up from the bed.

"You're not, you're on tour remember silly," I laughed but actually hoped he wasn't just joking.

"Well why don't you go to the door of your hotel room and see for yourself," he smirked and I got up from the bed with my heart pounding.

"I swear if you're messing with me," I muttered into the phone as I opened the door.

My face dropped when I saw nothing there.  I walked out into the hall and still saw nothing.

"Seriously Shawn? That wasn't funny," I pouted while turning back to walk inside the room.

"Lex, you're just not looking hard enough," he mumbled into the phone and I felt someone place their hands over my eyes.

"Guess who?" I heard his voice whispered into my ear.

I turned around and he still had his hands over my eyes.

"Shawn," I mumbled and pushed his hands away to crash my lips against his.

My arms somehow fell to meet his chest as we kissed.  I could feel my shattered heart start to piece together slowly because of him. 

Everything that felt like it was empty was now whole again.  Our kiss felt like it had lasted for hours...maybe days.  I don't know...it just all seemed like a dream to me. 

I was scared to pull away because I feel like if I did, this wouldn't be real.  None of this would.  He would still be on tour probably still calling me.  But at some point I had to. 

At some point I had to looked into his deep brown eyes.  We both managed to pull away from each other, but you could tell we were hesitant about it.  Our breathing patterns were off as we stared into each other's eyes.

This was real.  Once I pulled away, he was still here with me.  I was smiling up at him and he did the same.  Everything was better now.  Nothing in the world can change this now, but he still has to leave.  He still has to go on tour for three more months.

The both of us felt a strong connection that we couldn't be apart from each other for even a second.  We were glued to each other.  Every movement that one of us would make, the other would do the same.  I couldn't bare the thought of being apart from him again.  I needed him in my life.  I'll always need him in my life.  Always.

I don't know how long we were standing there, but it felt like a long time.  I feel like I could do this for the rest of my life.  I could always manage to get lost in his eyes.  I could spend the rest of my life with him.  Me and him until the end.  Just me and him.  That's all.  I just can't be apart from him anymore.  I just can't.  It's impossible...it's unimaginable.

My voice quiet from crying so when I tried to speak nothing came out...only small screeches.

"Aw...did my baby lose her voice?" He laughed and talked in a small baby voice.

"I...guess...I...did," I managed to get those few words out but I had to pause in order to keep speaking.

"Well at least you were able to say that," he smiled and my cheeks started to flare a bright shade of red.

I smiled up at him and pressed my forehead against his.  I wanted to say something but I didn't.  I couldn't for that matter.  Yes, I was still speechless that he was actually here with me.  And I just couldn't speak period.

He pulled away and smiled down at me with a slight smirk, "Good thing we won't be speaking then huh?"

Again, nothing came out of my mouth.  I just felt his lips press against mine as we both stumbled back into the room.  He lifted me up in his arms as we kissed.  My hands were gripping his hair as he placed me on the bed.

"I love you Lex," he whispered as he pulled away from our kiss for a spilt second.

"And...I love...you...so...much Shawn," I whispered back with a small smile as I choke out those words.

Yeah...I was going to be alright.  I'm okay now.  No part of me is sad anymore.  Only happiness.  Only happiness is filling my heart that I thought was empty.  That's all.  I'll be alright...as long as I have Shawn by my side.