All I Want. {Sequel Mr. Mendes}

Never Let Me Go.

Alexis.

"This is a really nice place you have here," Shawn said as we entered the apartment.

"Thanks, it's pretty cozy for such a small place," I said while walking into the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

I watched as Shawn just looked through my whole entire place.  His eyes would be focused on everything I had in the house then peak over to me.  His gaze was still beautiful.

Those innocent eyes I fell for were still the same.  I took a sip of my drink, and his eyes caught me looking at him.

"What?" I mumbled while setting the glass down.

"I think I should be asking you that, Ms. Rivera," he muttered while a small smile formed on his face.

"But I asked you first Mr. Mendes," I smirked and he shook his head.

"You always were the childish one," he mumbled while taking one of my hands in his.

I didn't say anything, I just liked the feeling of being touched by him again.

"It's probably one of the many reasons to why I love you so much," I whispered and that's when it hit me.

Lord have mercy!

"Shawn," I sighed and he shook his head.

"Please Alexis, don't say anything I just have to be honest with you, and in return, I want you to answer just one of my questions," he said and I nodded.

"I've loved you for so long Alexis.  I promised myself I would never move on because I knew that one day I would see you again.  Moving on from you just felt like a sin.  I had so much belief for you and I.  Everything we went through was the best thing I could ever ask for."

My eyes went soft, and my heart grew weak as I listened to his words.

"When you left, I started thinking about everything I could've done differently.  I knew that someday, time would bring you back to me.  And everyday while waiting for that someday, I constantly had this reminder that I've been living for you."

"Every moment I had, I chose to think about the reasons to why I love you.  I thought about the way you would blush when I made you smile.  I would remember how warm your touch was.  I would imagine how you curl your lip every time you concentrate in class."

At this point in time, my eyes were swelling up with tears and I wanted to say something but I couldn't.

"I would think about what I would say to you when I saw you again.  Whatever I thought I would say to you would just add to the story would we tell.  The story of something that brought us together."

Together?

My mind was fully aware of what he was talking about, but together? I still wasn't so sure about.  What we had was a long time ago, and even if I did except him, how would I know that everything will still be the same?

"So I just want to ask you this one question...do you still love me?" His voice mumbled and my heart sunk.

Of course I do Shawn.  I've never stopped loving you.

My mind was screaming those words out loud, but I couldn't.  My voice wouldn't shout the words that needed to be said.  Maybe it's because I'm afraid of getting hurt again.

But in my heart, I believe that our love is stronger than ever.  Loving someone can hurt, but that's only because you're doing it right.  Being hurt in the process is what's supposed to happen.

After that though, you're only left with feeling alive.  You're left with the memories of it all.  The way your heart starts to mend.  The way it starts to heal.  The way it keeps your soul from vanishing.

Maybe that's what I needed from him.  I needed him to do that for me...but how?  It what world could I actually put this all into words besides the fact that I love him, but I'm too scared to say anything.

I looked into his sweet brown eyes that were waiting for my response.  My mouth was trembling with the words trying to escape my lips.

Come on Alexis, just tell him.

"Alexis?" His voice whispered, bringing me back to life.

"Shawn I-" I paused not knowing how to continue.

"Don't, its fine.  I get it," he mumbled and let go of my hands.

"Shawn...please," I said and he looked down at his feet.

"I should get going," he mumbled and started walking towards the door.

"Shawn wait please," I said and walked behind him as he opened the door.

"Goodbye Alexis," he said and closed the door behind him.

"Shawn...I love you," my voice trembled as I sunk to the ground.

I was too late.