Gravity

Chapter 5: Cheesy

Chapter 5

Cheesy

Brian guided me into the other room where his group of friends were going crazy. They were laughing and singing songs and I wished I could be a part of it. And as I glanced at Brian I realized I could be a part of it, the only thing stopping me was myself.

"Hey Emily!" I caught Darren standing with Julia and I nodded. I thought about going over there, but I knew it would only cause me pain so I walked over to Joey who was standing with Joe Walker and Lauren.

"Hey Joes, hey Lauren," I said with a smile. They grinned at me and I felt like I belonged here, like perhaps all the pain I had been feeling was finally fading away. But, then they continued a conversation that I wasn't a part of and I couldn't jump into, because it was about theatre. Lauren made a theatre joke and the two guys erupted in laughter, but I only gave a small smile wanting an escape.

I glanced back at Darren and Julia, I decided against my better judgment and I gave a nod to Joe, Joey, and Lauren for goodbye and walked over. They wouldn't miss me anyways.

"Hey Darren," I said then remembered his girlfriend, "Hey Julia." I tried my best not to act jealous or rude towards her. I did like her and she was nice and perfect and the only thing I had against her was that she was dating Darren. Which made me sound like a brat and I therefore hated myself for it.

"Hey Emily," she dared to smile at me which of course forced me to smile back.

"Uh, what's up?" My eyebrows furrowed together as I temporarily forgot how small talk worked. I hadn't had small talk in so long. I hadn't really needed to. When you don't have friends you don't have to worry about that stuff.

"We were just talking about rollerskating, Julia's never been. Isn't that crazy?" Darren said chuckling and Julia playfully rolled her eyes.

"It's not that crazy! Plenty of people haven't been. Have you, Emily?" I swallowed down my thoughts as Darren and Julia shared a loving smile, I wanted that to be me. I wanted to be Julia. I just wanted love. Was that too much to ask for?

"Oh y-yeah, I have," I glanced down at my shoes to ignore their flirting and so I wouldn't get carried away.

"I'll just have to take you someday," Darren said and I didn't have to look at him to know that he was grinning.

"I guess you will." I wanted to puke by how cheesy and in love Julia's voice sounded.

I needed to leave. I needed to get out of here, right away. I couldn't last much longer. These people were just too damn happy. Did they never get depressed? Did they never feel something so strong that caused them to want to die? Have they never been hurt?

I could answer that question. Of course they had been hurt; they just didn't let it hurt themselves as badly as I did. They were stronger than me and perhaps that was why they could continue on with life and could have relationships. I couldn't though. I had to stay with my feet on the ground.

"I think I'm going to head out," I mumbled desperately wanting to escape to my room and find a release. Darren and Julia nodded at me. As I turned to leave I caught Brian's eyes. I gave him a weak smile. I guess I would continue living for him. If I didn't have anyone who cares at least I had a brother and I knew that he would feel far too guilty if I did something like that.

I felt eyes on me and I glanced behind my back hoping that it was Darren, but it was just Joey. Shit, I thought as I watched him move towards the door as well. But, he went for the pizza not me which seemed like a typical Joey move.

The door closed with a thud and I stayed on the outside to enjoy the brisk summer nearly fall air. I leaned against the brick wall taking deep breaths. I wanted to have friends, I really did. But, I just couldn't fit in with them.

I couldn't fit in with anyone.

Suddenly, the door opened and I instantly turned away to avoid whoever it was and to act as if I wasn't just moping outside.

"Hey Em," Joey's voice reached my ears. I glanced at him to see the pizza box in his hand.

"Taking home leftovers?" I asked raising one eyebrow. He let out a light chuckle and shook his head.

"No, I actually brought this for you. I don't think you ate." I gave him a perplexed look. How would he know?

"I'm good thanks though." Actually my stomach was growling and the pizza smelled amazing, but I just didn't feel like I deserved pizza.

"Just one piece," he said pulling a slice of pepperoni out for me. He gave me puppy-dog-eyes as he spoke his next line, "Please for me."

"Fine," I said giving in. I couldn't say no to that face. I took a bite of the pizza and gave a small moan in appreciation.

"Damn, this is good," I said before taking another bite. He nodded.

"Only the best for you," he spoke so fast I knew I was only hearing what I wanted to hear so I didn't comment about it. "So are you going home?" He asked to move on from his last statement.

"Yes, if you are referring to my dorm as home." He gave me a smile that allowed me to temporarily forget about Darren and Azazel and wanting a release.

"Well, we could hang out if you wanted to," he rubbed the back of his head and I hesitated. I didn't really want to be alone, but I deserved to be alone. But, he didn't deserve to be alone...

"Sure," I shrugged.

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A/N:

Don't forget to vote and comment guys! It's always nice to hear your opinions.
It's been a long week and now a long weekend. My life guys. Haha.
But the good news is that it's sunny and I can write so that's always fun :)