Be Mine

Chapter 27- Camp Training 3rd Part

"Wag mo akong singhutin, Bryan."

"Why not? You smell like an apple and it happens that apple is my favorite fruit. Can I peel and taste you?"

Bigla nya akong tinulak at hindi ko na napigilan ang pagtawa ng malakas. "Back off, you perv! Geez, why did I love someone like you?." Halos pabulong na sabi niya and I automatically stopped laughing.

"Oo nga, bakit mo nga ba ako minahal? I really wanted to know.." and I'm just having a hard time believing that someone like her, the almighty Steffie Chua, would love me despite of being a playboy.

"Oh please, Bry. Let's not talk about this right now. I'm trying really really hard to forget you. Please let's not bring up again my feelings for you.." her voice is full of sadness and it feels like something just stab my heart.

"W-Why?"

Tumingin siya sakin at ngumiti, yung ngiting hindi umabot sa kanyang mga mata. "I just realized that you and me is such an impossible thing to be together."

At ito na naman yung kirot sa dibdib ko. Teka nga.. Bakit parang ang sakit? Gusto ko sabihin sa kanya na wag nya akong bitawan, na mahalin niya lang ako, na dapat ako lang..

At hindi imposibleng maging kaming dalawa.

"Steff, aren't you thinking too much?" please do not tell me you're giving up on me.. I'm not sure of what I feel but there's one thing I'm sure of...

"I am finally letting go of those memories and dreams with you for three years. I'm giving up my love for you.."'

"NO." she looked at me appaled. "Please.. I can bear anyone to give up on me, but not you. Please Steff, I beg you to stay.."

Wala na akong pakealam kung pagtawanan man nya ako, o may makarinig man sa mga sinasabi ko, kahit maging headline pa sa mga newspaper na nagmamakaawa ako.. This pain in my chest is unbearable.

"B-But.." confusion filled her eyes.

"Please stay.." stay until I figure out this feelings of mine.

She touch my cheeks with the back of her palm. Ang lambot ng kamay nya, I wanted to close my eyes to feel the sensation.."That's better, I don't want to see your face hurting.." her soothing voice calm all my reflexes.

"I will take all the pain away from you, Bryan. And if staying will help to take some of it, I promise to stay as long as you need me."

And damn that was the sweetest thing I ever heard from a girl! Parang gusto kong maiyak! Fvcking gay.

"You know what, I feel so lucky to have you here by my side. Talking to you like this, akala ko isang suntok sa buwan to. Para sakin ay mas imposible ka pa kesa sa pagpasa ni Spongebob sa driving school para makakuha ng driver's license, mas mahirap kesa manalo sa lotto.." she's said like telling me a bedtime story, she chuckled.

"But now you're here, am I even dreaming?" and she dreamily look intently in my eyes.

Hindi ko na alam kung anong ginawa ko, basta nakita ko nalang ang sarili kong hinahalikan siya. Gusto ko syang yakapin ng mahigpit pero natatakot ako, her skin is so soft and her body looks so fragile and I'm afraid I might break it.

I started to move my lips and her eyes open wide, I wanted to laugh so hard but I don't want to ruin the moment.

Kiss me, kiss me Steff.

At para bang narinig nya ang gusto kong iparating, she slowly close her eyes and move her lips like mine, I open up her mouth using my tongue and play it with hers. I am kissing her hungrily and possessively.

This girl is mine, this girl who love me for three years and never even get tired.

I cupped her face with my hands and deepened the kiss.

Oh great, I can stay like this forever.. Marahan akong itinulak ni Steffie, catching some breathe, I rest my forehead into hers.

"This is wrong, shit this is wrong.. but it feels so right. What am I gonna do?" and she began to cry.

I am fvcking hurting her because of my selfishness. Because of my madness. It feels like hell, please hush. Don't cry, Steff.

You're breaking my heart.

Tell me, am I already falling for this girl?

"I-I'm sorry Steffie, please don't cry. It's my fault, I'm sorry." Tears are starting to form in my eyes too, fvck this is bad.

"B-Bry, please don't play with my feelings. Wag mo naman akong paasahin, parang awa mo na. Wag mo naman ako paasahin."

I hug her, hug her tight. Hoping I can take the pain she's feeling..

"I will break up with her as soon as possible.." determinado kong sinabi at nagulat ako nung bigla nya akong tinulak.

"No, no, no. Don't do that, Bryan. You'll hurt Laine, you'll hurt yourself too. Don't break up with her, just forget what happened here."

Is she joking? Forget that I kissed her? E mas baliw na ata to sakin e. Kulang nalang malunod ako sa mga halik nya, kung pwede lang na halikan ko siya sa tuwing nakikita ko siya, kung pwede lang hingin ko ang labi niya para malaya ko itong halikan sa tuwing gusto ko ay gagawin ko.

POTEK. Kung alam mo lang kung gaano ako naaadik sa labi mo, naadik ako sa halik mo.

"Listen.." I hold her hand, she tried to pull it off but I held her tight. "I'm not really sure of what do I feel for you.. Minsan namamangha ako, nagugustuhan kita pero madalas ay naiinis ako sayo. Naiinis ako kasi hindi mo ako sinusunod, naiinis ako kasi matigas ang ulo mo, naiinis ako kasi nakikipagusap ka sa ibang lalaki, naiinis ako kapag ngumingiti ka sa iba. And fvck this feeling that makes me so furious! Pero isang ngiti mo lang napapawi na lahat, isang ngiti mo lang kumakalma sa buong pagkatao ko. I don't want this, honestly. Natatakot ako na I might be already falling hard since that day I carried you out of the room, natatakot ako sa nararamdaman ko. But I can't help it. Your presence makes my heart skip a beat, and no one ever had that effect on me, no one but you Steff, not even Laine, just you. You're the only one who makes me want something more than a kiss, I may sound like a prevert but what do I do? This is what I feel. You make me feel so special and so much loved then drops me off in the end like a hot potato, telling me I should be with Laine and should not break up with her. Akala ko ba mahal mo ako? Akala ko ba ako ang pangarap mo? Why do you keep pushing me away?"

She's shock and I can tell that, her eyes are open wide. She open her mouth as if she was about to say something and close it again. She look away..

I gently squeezed her hand. "Steff, talk."

She looks at me with a flushed face and rolled her eyes. "Wag mo nga akong utusan."

I can't help but laugh hard, potek, ang dami kong sinabi pero yun lang ang sasabiihin niya. "Okay, I'll make it simple. Do you still love me or not?"

"I-I still do, you idiot."

"Do you want me?"

"Of course." Kitang-kita ko ang pamumula niya kahit madilim ang paligid.

"Do you want me to break up with her?" please say yes.. I want you to say yes.

"Bryan." She close her eyes seems like she's annoyed. "It's your decision to make, not mine.."

Well, mas okay yung sagot nya kesa 'no'. Hayyy.

"I promise to end our relationship as soon as we arrive there, kung may signal lang dito ay gagawin ko ngayon na mismo kahit nakaka-offend yun dahil sa phonecall lang, I don't want to see you hurting too."

She looks away when I wanted to look straight at her eyes. "Don't tell me sweet nothings until you've been sure of your feelings Bryan, please. I don't want to have false hopes."

I just sat there beside her quietly while looking down. I want to know what is this feeling as soon as possible.