We Are More Than The Doctor's Paper

1-Schizophrenic

A mental illness that interferes with a person's ability to think clearly, manage emotions, make decisions, and relate to others.

(www.nami.org/Learn-More/Mental-Health-Conditions/Schizophrenic)

Those with Schizophrenic can be aggressive, talk to themselves, get upset in some cases, hear voices, and there are also many many many more symptoms. To see all symptoms go to and other websites. www.webmd.com/schizophrenia/guide/schizophrenia-symptoms

1.1% (2.2 million) of adults in the U.S. live with Schizophrenia. For more information on statistics go to https://www.schizophrenia.com/szfacts.htm#

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Hi. I'm Bellarose. I am in Briarcliff Manor. My mother placed me here when I was fourteen-I'm now seventeen-because I am schizophrenia. According to my grandmother, it's no surprise. I am not to sure what that means, but I sure wish I knew. I don't like to share my story with many, so please be patient with me.

My parents had me when they were in their mid-twenties. Ever since I could talk they noticed I was different from all the other kids. By the time I was five I could see people who apparently weren't there. My dad became really concerned when I told him Sally made me kill the bird my mother owned. When my parents asked me to tell them what happened, I did, but they didn't believe me. I got in really big trouble. Luckily Sally was there to get me through it. When I was eight Charley came into the picture. He and Sally are really funny. However, Charley convinced me to runaway when I turned ten. I remember that day really well. It was my birthday when he told me to. I was in the community park when the police found me. One of the officers asked me why I did it and I replied with, " My mommy and daddy don't love me. They don't believe me when I tell them that Charley and Sally make me do things." He told me parents and of course they spanked me for telling such lies and sent me to my room. On that day Charley and Sally told me that it would be best if I didn't mention them to my parents again. I agreed so I didn't get in trouble again. Little incidents happened every now and again, but this last one sent my mother over the edge. It was a nice cool winter day and she was in the kitchen making desserts. She always made me so mad when she didn't believe that Charley and Sally were real. She told me they were "imaginary" and on multiple occasions said to me" When will you grow up Bellarose?" I felt enough was enough. I grabbed a kitchen knife and held it against her neck. My father came in from work and fought me. While he pinned me to the ground, my mother called the police and the doctor. The police arrived before the doctor did and held me in custody until Dr. Darwin arrived. By the time he arrived, I was arguing with Charley and Sally. They were telling me it was my fault when they are the ones feeding me into it.

" Bellarose, who are you yelling at dear?"

I always loved Dr. Darwin. He is so kind and always smells like butterscotch. Sally tries to convince me every time I am around him that he is there to hurt me.

" Sally and Charley."

" Did they tell you to hurt your mother?"

" Yes. SHUT UP SALLY! YOU KNOW YOU BOTH TOLD ME TO!"

" Shh. Calm down. Take a deep breath. Try to push them out for a little while."

" Okay."

Dr. Darwin started to talk to me and concluded that I was schizophrenic. My mother cried for days and my father was silent. Dr. Darwin talked to my parents about treatment, but they couldn't do it. Not by themselves anyways. Someone told my mother about Briarcliff Manor and they sent me on my way with no thoughts. No one comes to visit and it hurts. I don't see much of Sally and Charley because of the medication. According to Dr. Darwin, it's a wonderful thing. He told me if I could show everyone I am sane that they might be able to release me so I could go home. I wish to be a normal girl like all the rest, but I know I'll never be normal. I sense Charley and Sally will come back and when they do they'll make me do something horrible. My friends say they will help me, however they all have problems of their own. I might as well spend the rest of my days here-or find a way to end this pain. If only there were someone who understands how I feel.