Once In A Lifetime One Shots

Diary Entry #2

Hello, same ole Vermon.

Work, I don't have one. I already made a resume since last two weeks ago and have been looking for jobs that makes at least 25,000 pesos which I desperately need so I could start my own studio and get myself out of this mess of a life.

It's hard when your expertise isn't considered normal. I make art and music for fucks sakes. It wouldn't be one of those call center jobs or those "practical", money making ones like business, engineering, architecture, and the like.

It's near impossible for me to actually think that I'd have a shot into Hollywood. I'm Filipino, not a part of the U.S.A, one of the weakest countries in the Southeast Asia and the culture here isn't welcoming of your talents unless you look like Philippines' own, James Reid or Tyler Posey or any guy that is targeted to young girls and gays alike to be fantasized about as their dream boyfriend because here in my country, they have a saying that you should learn how to be content. A complete contrast to my own philosophy because I am literally not content with just having a simple life like the priests in my country preach, speaking of priests in my country, all of them hates the life I want and maybe that's why the people who see and meet me hate me, I'm the enemy of the church.

Enough of churches, their religion went obsolete years ago yet they still have a vast amount of supporters who are all scared about what other people might think of them. I on the other hand, does not really care. Hence, I always go out there and perform on stage as I grab any opportunity that will allow the spotlight to be focused on me.

It sucks, I've auditioned to singing contests but I couldn't make it because I didn't tell my sob background story nor look handsome. I don't want to be that artist whose background is used for inspiration and pity by viewers because I want them to focus on the art I'm making instead of what life I lived or life I am currently living.

I don't even know if I could actually fulfill this dream. I am pressured to drop out of college even though I don't have problems with studying or my grades. It's just that I'm pressured because I want a lot of things and I have to do it now or else I'll fail. I hate failing because I know what it's like and it's hard to get back up again, my ambition glows intensely in dark times and my life has always been spent in the dark.

It's hard to be stuck in a class wherein you cannot have freedom at its finest form. But I am not writing this to complain, in fact, I'm writing this as a tool to channel my anger into. I am so fucking angry that it serves as my fuel and inspiration to leave home and school while I go out there in the world, especially the U.S.A and breakthrough the art and entertainment industry.

I've always wanted to be the President of my country or be the first Filipino astronaut but I know I'm aiming for a different star and that star is a legacy that will start when I become big in Hollywood, a legacy that I hope will be cemented as one of the greatest achievements an artist like me could achieve in order to help create a better and progressive world full of kindness for the adults of the present and children of tomorrow.

I am scared because I don't know anyone outside of my own life inside this country but that doesn't stop me. If anything, that's what Theater taught me and it's to know that I have the edge to communicate and gain friends because it taught me to be outgoing and dig deeper beneath the diverse souls of Earth.

I do hope I make it and one day, I'd be able to read this while KJ giggles at how cheesy I always write his name when in fact, he doesn't know me. Yes, I am a fan of him and he is the one I'm clinging to so I could be free from this life that's been given to me by my parents.

It's not the life I wanted but any life is better than being unborn at all. With life, I still have hope that I will be that man who made legendary things and events during his mundane life.

Keneti, I know you'll laugh at me for writing this but I really do see you as my partner but I think you're straight, is it possible for you to love me? A man who is chubby? An eighteen year old who is the exact opposite of what people want because I am not a Golden Boy.

Whatever, I do hope you'll enjoy what's on my mind because I never let anyone inside because I don't want to be used just because people saw me in my most vulnerable form. Vermon Santiago is that kind of man.

Keneti James, is it possible?