Once In A Lifetime One Shots

A Vivid Life

I gaze up to the stars found above the planet. It twinkled and it glimmered, unconsciously giving me back something that I have lost in the midst of my dark days and troubled past. I scream out of confusion and began to tear every strand of hair in my scalp that I manage to grasp.

Dirt on my fingernails and blood on my knees. I have been at war with a force that is to be reckoned with. No matter how strong I try to fight, I lose. It had been a routine I was extremely familiar with.

First, it starts of with a fulfilling agony that pierces through my skeleton. I tried to endure the pain it carried and I tried my best to never give up but it was never enough. My efforts had been useless and in comes step number two.  I feel it flow in my bloodstream, feel my veins pump as it makes its way through cells that tried to block it but failed in the process. Third, it reaches the heart. It crushes it slowly, impaling every part, making my heart realize that there was no hope in resisting its powers. In its final stage, It enters the brain and it numbs away any remaining humanity I have left.

It felt painful and tiring to always think and act uptight and guarded. When I was done with the steps, there was no holding me back. I crack my joints and the rest follows. My visions grow dark, my heart starts to burn, my mind starts to explode.

I wanted to scream "Yes!" and "No!" at the same time for it was impossible to find one cure for this type of disease that makes me feel miserable. Yes was always my answer when it comes to the question of freedom. I wanted my freedom from the foes that held me hostage, I wanted my freedom from chains that bound me to my misery.

I also hoped to say "No" for I dream of the day that I would learn how to stop this intensity budding up inside of my soul. It was always present as early as I could remember and it had found a permanent residence inside my rationality, a hindrance to my thinking skills.

I tried to find the exit, I tried to escape reality. I tried to go on top of the mountains and walk near a cliff and watch as my body jump down on the ravine, crashing through boulders and rocks down the way. Imagining if my eyes would remain close or open. Trying to imagine myself as an avalanche on my down the mountains, my speed increasing to one destination; death.

Somehow, feeling this fiery emotion inside of me started to build wildfires that I can no longer control so I thought of the best way to deal with it, death.

If I die then the suffering would stop, if I die then my foes would win, If I die then I will leave behind a shell that kept on fighting a war that had no chance of stopping. But I didn't.

I stood tall as I gaze upon the stars. I see the sky turn purple, signaling that sunlight will soon peak and a new day will begin to blossom. Dirt on my fingernails, blood on my knees. I have lost countless of battles but when I looked above the stars, I began to learn that I won the war.

I could see clearly, I could see black and white, I could see things for what it is and what they could be. I am both an optimist and a pessimist. I began to dance to the beat of the drums inside my heart that celebrates for I have conquered the unconquerable. I am now able to see reality.

Able to see that I was at war with myself and my surrounding the whole time and the anger had devoured me and turned me into a monster; turned me into a force to be reckoned with.

Now that the anger had subsided, I could finally understand that I had suffered throughout the pain but I was able to claim my victory for pain had brought me progression and somehow it was a nice thought to think of while I inhale the fresh air around me, reveling with the sight that I just witnessed; rebirth.

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Dedicated to spiderwebbed because I am still in love with Stardust and Sunbound. One shot was inspired by Skylar Glass so I hope she loves it and feel the magic, too.

The pic above, Wattpad has been glitching lately.