Me, Myself, & My Babies

39

May 26th.
Graduation.

My mom and I sat next to Darren's mom and sister, who had Vanessa and Lily sitting in their laps, gnawing on a teething toys.

Three months ago, Darren asked me to be at his graduation. Here I was, we aren't exactly on speaking terms, but if I could support the person I love, of course I will.

He also never kept his word of not being in the babies lives. He spent weekends with them.

The graduation was on the football field. The audience sat on bleachers. I spotted Darren in the third row, looking back over at us. I waved, making him smile.

Everyone quieted down after the principal begin his speech, following the class speaker.

Then the calling of graduating seniors names began. Darren's mom had her phone out, recording when they finally reach the C's.

"Darren Caine" he stood up and walked towards the stage. I looked over at his mom, who was crying and clapping for him. I clapped, happy for him.

Vanessa and Lily began to cry.

They probably got scared. My mom and Darren's sister, Delia, began to start quieting them down by cuddling them, and making silly voices.

Vanessa and Lily were hard to take care of, but I loved it at the same time. There was times I hardly got sleep, needed to change they're full diapers that made me gag, and making bottles in the middle of the night. As they got older, they were pretty quiet and calm babies.

At over five months, they've changed. Their freckles were fainter now, and their green eyes would sometimes appear blue. Their hair began to grow more, and stayed the same color.

Darren crossed the stage to receive his diploma.

We stayed seated for the rest of the graduation, waiting until we were able to meet the graduates on the field.

I brought Vanessa and Lily in their car seats, which happened to be more difficult than i thought with so many people around.

When my mom and i successfully made our way down carrying the babies, Darren instantly came over to us with Chance. Madison was with them.

Although, I never really fully recovered by the "best friend and boyfriend sleeping together" incident, I was still her friend. We just weren't as close anymore. She got back together with Chance, and they act as if nothing ever happened.

Darren was staring at me, I looked back at him. Wearing the purple gown and cap with his tassle that had a pendant reading "2017" in silver metal.

He hugged me, whispering "I'm glad you came" in my hair.

"Couldn't exactly say no to someone who still means a lot to me" I whispered back. Our hug wasn't awkward, it was so natural to me. We both were tall, perfected each others height. I wasn't that much shorter than him, and he wasn't that much taller than me. I rested my chin on his shoulder, closing my eyes.

Breathing in his cologne made me miss him even more.

We pulled away, him staring at me with his hand on my cheek, being intimate.

I looked away, making his arm drop to his side, "Vanessa and Lily are here" I smiled.

He looked over at his mom and mine as they both held a baby, talking to each other. Then looked back at me.

"Is there any chance of... You know, us?" He asked.

I looked down, I wanted to say "Of course", but in reality, i knew I didn't want to be in a relationship.

"Darren," I began, "I would like that, but let's be realistic, do you think you can really handle any of this?" I asked, looking back at him.

He hesitated.

"That's what I thought, but I have a real question for you" we were both still standing so close together, he slightly nodded for me to continue.

"Did you ever think we were actually in love?" I wondered.

He thought, "Do you?"

I began to remember most of our time together, every intimate moment.

"I feel like we were only together for a reason we both ignored because we thought being together was right" i explained. He glanced at Lily and Vanessa.

We stayed quiet, letting the background noise of chatter fill the silence.

"Yeah" he sighed, "I still love you" he grabbed my hand.

"I love you too" I breathed out, "I just wish our love wasn't influenced because of Ness and Lily"

"Maisie?" He caught my attention, "I did really love you, then it felt like I was falling out of love" he admitted.

I faintly smiled, "Maybe that was the case, we were forcing something that maybe wasn't suppose to happen"

"It's not like the books" he stated.

I giggled, "Definitely not like the books".

He was quiet for a moment, "I'm glad we can get on good terms, and that this relationship wasn't just one sided"

I nodded, "Thanks for being with me, of course I'll still love you just with the exception of accepting that we weren't exactly in love"

"You too" he kissed my forehead.

Then he began his way to Chance. Madison walked towards me carefully like I might attack her.

"I know we aren't exactly 'best friends' anymore, but can we give it a shot again?" She bit her lip anxiously.

I smiled, "Giving second chances aren't so bad"

She squealed with the biggest smile on her face. She jumped at me with a hug, making us both fall to the ground.

She gave me a big friendly kiss on the cheek with a loud "muah".

-

I was at Darren's graduation party, mom decided to stay home with Vanessa and Lily. I awkwardly stood in the kitchen with a can of soda in my hand. I played with the hem of my sundress, and occasionally tucked a piece of hair back around the bun I put my hair in.

"You made it!" Darren excitedly yelled.

I faintly smiled, nodding my head.

"You know, about earlier, i really want to tell you something" his words were a little slurred, "when I was cheating on you, i was secretly hoping you'd find out so we could break up" his arm was around my shoulders.

I tensed up as he spoke, and felt heartbroken all over again. Then I felt anger.

"Then when you did, I was hoping you'd break up with me and you did, but after that, I felt horrible about"

I was still angry. He was cheating on purpose to break up? I felt so much emotions, my body was shaking with anger and my face felt warm from his embarrassing confession.

I aggressively pushed his arm off me, stepping in front of him.

"Go fuck yourself, Vanessa and Lily don't need a father who only becomes brave and honest when he's drunk" i slammed my can of soda on the counter behind him. I started to storm out before looking back at Darren who looked shocked.

"I don't need a girl who has a temper tantrum and gets drunk then hooks up with the first guy she sees and ends up pregnant, that's kind of trampy isn't it?" He spoke up.

I turned around, furious, "Says the one who literally puts his dick into anyone with a vagina" I walked towards him, "Your dick is suppose to be in your pants not personality, but I guess you forgot the memo" with the last word, I walked out, on the verge crying.

No, you can't cry over someone who hurt you intentionally.

Tears began to trail down my checks.

From that day on, Darren and I had no communication.

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2 more chapters and this story will be done-zo