Schoolhouse Rock [Mötley Crüe]

Thirty-Nine

"This song is dedicated to a special someone. This song has been around since 1981, and has always been for one certain person, and only one. Some of you are aware of my longtime relationship.. but, whether you are or not; this song is called Without You, originally titled: Tommy's Song."

•

Nikki's chest finally stopped heaving.

Tommy smirked, brushing his long curls out of his face.

Nikki's hair was still huge and black - he had re-dyed it in the bathtub last week. His shoulders and ears were still lightly stained black. Tommy, however, had let his hair go back to its natural dark brown.

1989.

Their hotel room stunk of sex.

Tommy gazed upon his lover's peaceful form, his golden body tanned and toned. Tattoos of swirls and flames and cards adorned his right arm, dancing onto his chest. Gone was the wild makeup and intense costumes of the early 80's - it was time to break free from the glam scene and leave it to the newer bands. Gone were the warrior stripes under Nikki's eyes, and gone were the double stripes on Tommy's cheekbone that totally hadn't been stolen from their original drummer. Gone was the torn lace and fishnets, eyeshadow and glitter. Tommy yawned.

Nikki rolled over beside him, sober green eyes connecting with his own. Love bites adorned his naked body, from his jawline to his calves. Tommy smiled at his work.

Nikki had grown up. If Tommy thought he'd known anything about beauty in 1980, he had no clue of the chiseled god that would arise out of age. Innocent schoolboy be damned, Nikki had gone from cute and pretty to downright handsome, so gorgeous that he could be the devil himself, collecting more groupies than the others combined on most nights. It wasn't like he did anything with them, though. He always ended up in bed with his longtime lover.

His heart-shaped lips were slightly parted, exposing the brilliance of his teeth. He rarely covered his eyes with his hair anymore, meaning Tommy could always gaze into his emerald orbs without moving his bangs. His skin was taut over bulging biceps, strong thighs and abs that time and being clean from drugs had brought upon. Tommy still kicked himself for ever allowing Nikki (or himself, for that matter) to sink so low in addiction. He had gotten too close to losing him too many times. Nikki always knew that he would be dead if it wasn't for Tommy putting his foot down. Better late than never.

Tommy enjoyed Nikki's growing self confidence, especially now that Nikki would go onstage shirtless. Personally, he opted for a thong.

And nothing else.

But this was Mötley Crüe, and Mötley Crüe never did things halfway. The baddest boys on the block, as they were called. Tommy never really saw them as that. Just a couple of boys with a dream, and a couple mistakes made while getting to that dream.

Mötley was on tour, supporting their latest album, Dr. Feelgood. December would be rolling onto their calendars next week, and they found themselves in the warmth of Texas. There was something special about this album, though - besides being their first album truly sober. After eight years, Without You had finally found a home, on side A of their fifth studio effort. The song was Nikki's baby, about Nikki's baby, and of course, he still sang it to Tommy all the time.

Nikki gazed at his lover, who was staring into what looked like space. He chuckled to himself, propping his head up on one arm. Tommy's hair was longer now, twisting and curling along his shoulders in the same way Nikki was wrapped around his finger. He had a new nose ring, which was gleaming in the dim light of the hotel room. This one they hadn't trashed, thanks to their sobriety. Over the time, they'd started to realize that there were better ways to have fun than destroying their beds and then sleeping on the floor. Now they just destroyed the sheets.. together.

Nikki reached out and ran his hand up Tommy's chest, watching his lover snap back into action, gazing down at him with unrestrained emotion. Nikki felt his heart swell.

"Hi." Nikki whispered, voice nearly breaking as he shifted closer. Tommy wrapped his arm around his lover's waist, tugging him forward.

"Hey." Tommy smiled softly, feeling Nikki duck under his chin and snuggle close. There was a softness about his skin on Tommy's that took his breath away, almost like Nikki's tattoos were melting onto his skin. The drummer's brain suddenly shifted to an old memory that had happened many times, when he and Nikki would get high and lay together and just.. talk. Neither of them remembered anything said after they came down, but Tommy was sure he had professed his love for Nikki in a more beautiful way than he could now, whether it was only beautiful because they were high or not.

It almost felt like that now, minus the drugs. Nikki's breathing was steady but soft against his throat, the fluttering of his eyelashes lightly tickling his skin. Tommy forced his breathing to stay even, although he wasn't sure why it was starting to become labored in the first place.

"Tommy." Nikki's voice was raspy.

"Mm?"

"Your brain is so loud. It's keeping me awake."

Tommy laughed softly, running his fingers through Nikki's hair.

"I can't help it.. baby. I.. There's so much I want to say but I can't think of any words."

"Just pretend you're high. Everything works better when you're high, so.. pretend." Nikki mumbled, sitting up, bright eyes gazing into his lover's. Tommy sat up as well, taking Nikki's hand in his own. He stared into Nikki's eyes for a few moments, seeing the galaxy and more dancing in his irises. He found himself mesmerized and lost in Nikki's eyes, just like the first time.

"I wish I could buy you the universe."

"What?"

"I don't know," Tommy laughed, puzzled. "I don't know where that came from. I've probably done a lot better than that when I was actually high."

Nikki's dumb smile was enough reply for him. Tommy leaned in and kissed him softly, hands landing on his waist and cheek. Nikki slid his eyes shut, deepening the kiss. After a few seconds, Tommy broke away, gently interlocking their fingers in their laps. Nikki gazed down at their hands, breathing deeply.

"Remember when I said I wanted to get matching tattoos?" The bassist murmured, eyes still locked on their hands.

"Yeah." Tommy breathed, gazing down at their fingers, too.

"Why haven't we done that yet?"

"I don't know," Tommy answered honestly. "What do you want to get?"

"I want 'without' on my thumb. And I want 'you' on your thumb.. so when we hold hands, they're right next to each other." Nikki whispered. Both men found themselves unable to tear their eyes away from their hands.

"I like that." Tommy murmured softly.

"I like you." Nikki's voice was breaking.

"I like you, more." Tommy was forcing his voice to work, emotion choking him like a pair of hands.

"Kiss me?" Nikki asked softly, finally ripping his eyes away and back up to Tommy's.

Tommy looked up and did just that.