Bad things happen to good people too
It was like my world no longer existed. I wasn't for sure how Maggie was going on with her life with a smile or how anyone was at all. I was traumatized.
Maggie was pregnant and at the hilltop with Sasha. The baby is okay and so is Maggie, Negan doesn't know that.
I haven't left my room since we got back home. Enid comes and visits me a lot to keep me company. She also gives me food so I can actually eat. She tells me to come to the hilltop with her but I'm too scared to leave.
Every time I see Carl, everything flashes back through my mind so he doesn't want to see me.
I just need him. It's hard for him to understand but I do. It's like he's a gun. Once he looks at me, the bullet fires. He doesn't want to even take that chance over and over of the bullet being fired.
So he never comes around any more. It feels like it has been forever since that night.
A knock was at my door which interrupted my thoughts.
"Maci?"
Carl.
"It'll be okay. I'll help, just let us in."
Enid.
I closed my eyes and opened the door. I turned around and breathed out.
"Maci.." Carl sounded relived.
The sound of his voice soothed me instantly. He knew, Enid had to have told him since I told her.
I heard Enid's voice so I opened my eyes. She was infront of me.
I saw Carl's shadow on the carpet from the sun shining in.
He was behind me.
I smiled a bit before Enid nodded.
"You ready?" She asked.
I nodded and felt a hand on mine. I breathed out and turned around.
There he was.
The blue eyed boy. His bandage was all cleaned up and fresh. His hat wasn't on, it was in his hand.
He smiled softly at me and my heart sunk.
"Did you hear what he said? He said suck my nuts!" Negan laughed as he swung again.
I gasped and Carl frowned instantly.
"Carl I-"
"I will kill you." Rick looked at Negan.
I blinked and looked down at my feet. I breathed out as Carl put his hat down on the ground and held onto my hands. I looked up to see Enid leaving and shutting the door.
You got this I know you do.
I let go of his hands and held onto the sides of his hair softly. That made his bandage loose and slip off from his eye a little. He removed the bandage and I smiled instantly at him.
Carl trusts you so much.
I moved his hair back out of his face as he stared and watched me with his bright blue eye. He put his hand on mine and smiled softly at me which made me laugh quietly.
Carl moved his hands to my waist and wrapped them around my back half way. He looked at me with pleading eyes and I nodded.
He wrapped his arms fully around me and I hug him back. My hands were at his lower back as I held on. I laid my head on his chest and listened to his heart beat. It was racing.
I moved my hands and traced circles on his back carefully. He breathed out and hugged me more then let go a little. His heart beat slowed down after a while. I smiled once it did knowing that I calmed him down.
I wanted to let all of the tears I had been holding for a while out but I didn't want to put him in a panic so I kept it in.
Please never let go of me Carl..
I moved my hands to his chest and pulled away from him just a little. His hands were still on my waist and his eye was looking at mine.
"Carl..." I whispered.
He smiled and closed his eye. I got up on my tippy toes and kissed his forehead. I stayed there for a few seconds then got back down.
His cheeks were red and he smiled without trying to stop himself. I smiled and hugged him fully now. His heart was racing once again and I wanted to laugh.
I kept myself quiet and held onto him.
We just stood there. Peacefully. There was no awkwardness, nothing weird. It all felt right. It was normal for once in a while. Some sweet moment we both needed after what happened.
Soon, we pulled away from each other. I breathed out and my mind followed back to Negan and that night.
"He won't get out of my head." I breathed out.
"I'm not going to let him get you in any way, I promise." Carl said.
I nodded as he held out his pinkie.
I smiled and linked mine with his. He kissed my pinkie and smiled up at me. My heart started racing as I felt my cheeks heat up.
This boy is who really is in your head.
I smiled a smile I haven't smiled in a long time.
You're in love with him. He's got you wrapped around his heart while he is wrapped around yours.
I shook my head shyly as my cheeks heated up even more at the thought. Carl chuckled at me. I wanted to hide my cherry red face away from him. He knew that too.
He kept laughing every so often which always made my stomach turn and my smile grow. He knew he had that effect on me. You could tell the way he looked at me when he stopped laughing for a second.
He had this cheeky smile without showing his teeth. His dimples appeared as his hands went for mine smoothly. I always moved them away from fear.
You could tell how much he adored me. How much I made him so happy.
I just didn't want to believe it.
I mean how could a boy like him fall for a girl like me?
You're just a nobody. You've had no one to hold your entire life. Finally this blue eyed boy comes around and you're attached. You never want to leave him and you'd die if he dies. It's just attachment. It's not love.
I shook my head not wanting to believe it. Carl noticed but I couldn't say anything.
"Are you alright..?" He asked.
He sounded so disappointed in himself.
"I'm never going to be alright Carl." I said.
He sighed and looked down at his hat on the floor. He picked it up and smiled at me. It was sweet and simple. He put the hat on my head and it covered my eyes instantly. It was big on me. He chuckled instantly as I couldn't help but giggle.
I lifted it up and saw his blue eye already on me. I smiled the biggest smile at him as he smiled back.
"You're so damn adorable in that.." He smiled.
I blushed as his eye went huge realizing what he said. I laughed a little as he coughed not knowing what to do.
I took it off of my head and handed it back to him.
"No, it's okay. You keep it. You look better in it then I do." He chuckled.
I smiled as I stood on my tippy toes and put it on his head.
"I would have to disagree." I smiled.
