•stay-jily fanfic•

Chapter 34- Love All Around

Bella POV

As I walk into the Ball with Lily, I pause right by the door when walking in with Lily, to give her and James a moment. They really are the cutest couple around. I mean, they're made for each other. They deserve a moment. I exhale and surrender a couple tears threatening to fall, looking up at the ceiling so my eye makeup doesn't run. I lean back against the wall. The reason that I rejected Sirius is not that I hate him (well, I do, but he's not THAT bad. Don't tell anyone that I said that.). It's just that I'm not really in the place for a boyfriend right now. Sure yeah, I went on about a million dates with a million different boys but that was only to annoy my muggle hating father. I'd never actually DATED any of them. I'd only had one boyfriend before. He was a sweet Muggle boy, and I liked him. We had lots in common. But then, my Dad found out, and....

He killed him.

SOOOOO, you'd understand why I'm not that eager in that particular department at the moment. Any ways, I think I gave them enough time for a grand moment, don't you think? I take a breath, wipe the final tears, and step forward. My eyes automatically scan the crowd, and I take a mental note of everyone there. Everyone seems to be looking at me except Lily & James who are in the center of the room talking quietly to each other. I find a table and reserve it for me and my friends, but mostly just watch for a bit. After about 10 minutes, Sirius wordlessly sits next to me and we sit in silence for a while. I poke Sirius and he turns in my direction. "Look at this, ready?" He nods. A Slytherin boy comes up to me. "Girl, you're too pretty be sitting with such scum." He scoffs at Sirius. "Would you be my date?" He says confidently. I wink at Sirius and stand up, straightening my dress. He holds out his hand and I take it but as he moves to walk away with me, I set my stance in a dead walk. Basically, I don't move.

"I just realized I'm a lesbian." I blurt out, and watch the red blossom on his face, and he runs away so fast I could barely marvel on how fast he had pulled his hand away. I turn to Sirius and we both burst out laughing. "Oh, that was great!" He says, doubling over in laughter.

"Excuse me, would you like to dance?" Amos Diggory comes up to me. I glance at Sirius who's demeanor suddenly changes and if looks could kill- Amos would be 6 feet under the ground already. "Sure." I grab his out held hand and glance back at Sirius, who is avoiding my eyes. This happens throughout the night, me sitting and laughing with Sirius, a boy asks me to dance, I oblige, Sirius glares at him. Repeat. But honestly... all these boys aren't interesting. None of them I really feel a connection with. I don't know, maybe I'm just picky about it. Sirius doesn't leave the table all night, which I thought was weird. When the girls gave me a crash course on the kids at this school, they said James and Sirius were the most wanted boys in school. 

They said Sirius was the biggest player at Hogwarts, and James would be too if he hadn't only had eyes for Lily his whole life. So, even if he got asked by twice as many people as me to dance, why did he turn most of them down? When I sit with our friends and eat, I complain to Lily about all the annoying boys. All night whenever I glance over at Sirius, he's watching me and doesn't even try to deny it. When I sit back down after the latest hopeful Hufflepuff, he catches me rubbing my sore wrist from Snape. "What's this?" He demands, grabbing my arm and studying it. "Nothing." I say quickly, yanking my arm back from his and rubbing it so I cover up the bruise with my hand. "That's not nothing." He says, trying to grab my hand again. He doesn't succeed. "Stop! I'm fine. Nothing's wrong, I'm okay." I snap, and when he sits back down, I'm surprised to see an odd expression on his face- hurt. "Hey." I say softly, scooting my chair over to him. "Seems like you're not fine." He looks at me and sighs. "You wouldn't understand." "Bet you I would." I counter. "Fine." He turns, suddenly angry.

"I'm in love with this girl, except she hates me and doesn't know it. I don't know how to tell her, and it's killing me because every time I look at her, it's like a Horntail is pounding me with it's tail repeatedly. But when I see her with another guy, merlin, it makes me want to kill him! Because I should be able to make her happy, I should be the one who gets to see her smile. But she doesn't see me like that and she never will and that, that is the thing that kills me. Because I don't deserve her. But I want to see her happy. And if that doesn't include me, then so be it." i lean back into my chair, shocked. "And you really love this girl?" "Didn't I just make that clear? Would you like me to cut my chest open and show you my broken heart?" He snaps, and walks over to James on the stage. I'm stunned. Who is this mystery girl?