Intent 2: Fight or Flight [Wattys 2017] (ON HOLD)

Chapter 22

"Harry...wait." He doesn't.

So, with a surge of energy that somehow erupts from within, I push him hard, causing Harry to roll over and land on the floor with a thud.

Quickly I cover myself, slightly embarrassed that I let things get this far. But hey, I am also the horny and desperate idiot who fucked a guy on a plane. I shouldn't be embarrassed at all.

"Fuck Em..." Harry groans from below but I don't pay him any mind.

I just dodged a bullet with Harry and I can't let him get that close again. Granted I let him get this far in the first place. I was more than willing in the moment but we cannot do that again. Harry and I having sex would not only be confusing but I know it would give him false hope and that is something I just can't put him through that on top of everything else.

I slept with Sam, how could I ever give him a future?

"We can't do this Harry. You know that." I am trying to be convincing but how can I be when I want him so badly?

I want to feel his lips on mine and his hands on my skin. I want to feel the weight of him consuming my frame as his hips unceremoniously thrust–

No you can't! Even though my body is screaming at me to give in, I simply can't.

God this is confusing as well as exhausting. The way I see it I have two choices. I can either bend to his will and let this happen between us. I can spend the night making love to him, finally showing each other what we really feel and maybe even go back with him. Or I can thoroughly break his heart until we are shattered beyond repair giving us both the chance to move on.

If I choose pick one then I'd have to deal with the little problem of all the lies and secrets between us. Obviously I couldn't hide everything forever and when it all comes out he'd hate me even more. We would end up hurt and broken worse than we are now.

Choice two just makes more sense.

"Okay," he says lightly with the deep raspy voice of his.

God his voice... it's one of his most lethal weapons.

"I know I'm just... Baby, let's talk some more."

Of course he's calling me baby!

Anger flies through me as I verbally explode all over him. "I don't want to talk. We have done enough talking." And isn't that the truest statement of the century.

But I know Harry, he won't let it go so I leave the room.

I need a drink.... Now.

I need to let loose.... Now.

And I need to get the hell away from Mr. Sex God out there before things get more intimate.... Now.

But unfortunately but not surprisingly, he follows me.

Typical.

"Emma what are you doing?"

"I'm going out."

And no, you're not invited...

Not like that has ever stopped him...

I'm serious, I cannot talk any more. If we keep talking I just know I will end up telling him about Sam and there is no use in it, especially now that I know he hasn't slept with anyone.

I'm the monster in this scenario and he's the bloody victim. That's all he'll see, that's all anyone will see. But what about everything else? What about all the fights and comments and lies that got us here? Harry won't even think about all that.