Darned to Heck

Jump

"You need to put more of an emphasis on the 'ee'."

"Seethar."

"Almost, but it still sounds like you're telling me to jump rather than the third letter of the alphabet." Satan laughed at my pronunciation.

"Yeah well how about you go seethar off a fucking bridge." I spat back at him.

We had been meeting in the library twice a week for my tuition in the demon language. It was not going well.

He frowned at me in annoyance. "It's almost like you don't even want to learn."

"Yeah well, maybe I don't." I shoved the book away from me and crossed my arms.

"You're acting like a child."

"So?"

He sighed in frustration and put the book back in front of me "Could you at least try?"

"I ammmm."

"Hardly." He muttered, but I could hear it.

"What was that?" my voice dropped to a deadly whisper.

His eyebrows raised in questioning amusement before narrowing determinedly. "I said, I would hardly call your attempts at learning to be sufficient."

I stood from my chair threateningly. "Oh yeah?"

"Undoubtedly."

"Try me bitch." I yelled as I lunged for him, only to crash into an empty chair. Before I could even see where he had gone my arm was pinned behind me and I was on the floor with his knee on my back, quickly and effectively restraining me. I burst out laughing and heard his quiet warm chuckle from behind me.

"Better luck next time."

"Oh what, you think you've got me?"

"Well, you can't go anywhe-"

I pushed myself into the rock as quickly as he had moved to avoid my attack, he jumped up in surprise, letting go of my wrist as I disappeared.

That's cheating

When did I say I played fair?

I won't hold back then.

I wouldn't want you to. I sprang from the floor like a panther and jumped onto his back, he didn't even flinch and instead flipped me over his head and slammed me into the ground as easily as if he was swatting at a fly.

What the heck was that?!

Sorry, was that you trying to attack me? I thought there was a mouse scurrying around on my back.

I hissed from the floor and stood up, aiming a blow for his face, he simply caught my small fist in his bear-like hand and I saw the flames dancing humorously in his eyes.

It's not funny!

Isn't it?

I swung at him again, about as successfully as the first time, and again, and again, and again. The more I tried to hit him the harder he laughed, it was really fucking annoying.

"Are you going to hit me or are we just playing patty cake?"

"You'd better stop laughing at me." I threatened.

"Or what, you'll tickle me to death?"

"I'll get you. When you're least expecting it, I'll wait till you're asleep and then BAM. You won't see it coming."

"Yes well the problem is you've told me, so I will be expecting it now won't I? You talk big for such a little mouse."

I narrowed my eyes at him and slammed a block of rock up under his feet, causing him to momentarily lose his balance. I took advantage of his break in concentration and leapt forwards, smashing into his broad chest like a battering ram. He fell to the floor with me on top of him, and I encased his hands in unbreakable rock bonds. He stared at me admiringly.

"Not bad little mouse."

My face was inches from his, and I felt that familiar crackle of electricity as I lay on top of him, breathing heavily from the efforts of our fight. His eyes lit up with sparks and he smiled deviously, showing his perfect white teeth.

"But you forgot my feet."

I had about one millisecond to register what he was saying before I was catapulted off of him and onto my back halfway across the room. With indescribable strength he shattered the rock holding his arms down and was over me. One foot on my chest, and I didn't have the energy to push him off.

"Okay okay," I laughed breathlessly. "You win."

He smiled softly and held out a hand to help me up.

"Ever the gentleman brother." A sarcastic voice accompanied a slow clap from the corner of the table.

"More so than you at least, Belphegor."

"Oh come now, you're too harsh." The Prince of Sloth sprawled out on the table, lying flat on his back with his arms and legs outstretched. He yawned and then turned on his side to face us, propping up his head with one arm. "I thought you were teaching her to read, not brawl."

"She needs extensive tuition on both I fear."

"What a lot of bother." He smiled like the Cheshire cat. "I have a tip for you 'little mouse'." He said, gazing at me sleepily. "Get somebody else to do it for you."

"Stop being so lazy Belphegor." Satan scolded fondly.

"Would that I could brother mine, would that I could."

He lay flat on the table again and closed his eyes. His wavy black hair fell unchecked over his face. It didn't look like it had been brushed. His chest rose and fell with slow relaxed breaths, close to sleep. I looked at his rumpled clothes and messy hair and instantly liked him. He had that same friendly but helpless demeanour that puppies have, and gentle features that were untroubled in sleep.

"Oh yes before I forget." He spoke without opening his eyes. "Father wants to see you Satan, something important I gather. Though why I had to come get you is beyond me, there are so many servants around the place that could've done it."

"When was the last time that you moved though Belphegor? You'd turn to stone if we let you."

"That would be absolutely wonderful." Belphegor sighed wistfully.

Satan chuckled and turned to leave. "Same time next Tuesday Allie?" He asked.

"Sure." I smiled, and he was gone.