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Help, I lost myself again

But I remember you

*

Our love is six feet under

I can't help but wonder

*

Retrace my lips

Erase your touch

It's all too much for me

It's all too much for me

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I couldn't believe it. 

The guy that left me completely shattered years ago, the reason that Rachel's gone, returned. 

Donovan James 

The name that I've been trying so hard to forget. The name of the boy with guilt filled eyes in front of me.

I avert my gaze and see that Mint has stopped swooning. Now she has a deadly expression on her face. 

"Who are you and what did you do to my best friend?"

Donovan doesn't answer. He keeps looking at me. I turn away, seeing a flash of hurt in his eyes. My nostrils flare in anger. He has no right to be feeling hurt!

"Brownie?" He whispers, his voice breaking. He takes a step closer and makes a movement where he's reaching out for me.

I feel tears sting my eyes but I blink them away before they can form. He still remembers. He still thinks he gets to call me my nickname from all those years ago. 

Now we had the attention of the tables around ours. People were videotaping this moment. I school my features so I look emotionless, like an ice queen.

As soon as some of the girls in the other tables saw him, they started swooning, I even heard a few dreamy sighs, which they didn't bother to stifle.

They looked at him like he was an angel. The devil was once an angel, I can't help but note. But the devil isn't anymore, and that was exactly what happened with Donovan in my eyes.

The real reason that I wore contact lenses was just a s a precaution. In case he ever returned, he wouldn't have known it was me. I didn't want him to be able to recognize my features. 

I find it kind of funny. The day I think I'm ready to show the public my natural eye color, he suddenly decides to return. I want to scream out of frustration so badly but I stay emotionless. 

-

"I'm gonna call you brownie." A voice declares. I turn around to see a little boy walking towards me.

"Why?" I ask in an innocently sweet voice. 

"Because brownie's are my fa-vo-wit thing in the world."

I smile at him, seeing our reflections in the wall mirror. The boy's arms circle around me and I pout looking at the height difference between us. Why is he always taller?

"My hair is brown." I tell him, pointing to it. "And look! My eyes are purple like a fairy princess!"

He grins, showing off a set of baby teeth. "You can be my fairy princess."

"Then you'll be the prince!"

"Yeah." He says, looking happy. When he's happy I feel happy too.

"I'll call you Blondie!" I chirp. "Because your hair is blond like mine is brown."

"Okay, Brownie."

-

The flashback comes at full force, reminding me of how we gave each other our nicknames. Everything was so perfect back then.

When we were in kindergarten we made our nicknames. He called me Brownie and I called him Blondie. 

A lone tear slides down my cheeks and I slap my hand over it, rubbing it away furiously. No, no more crying because of him. I am going to be strong for her if not me.

I look at the shiner on his face feeling proud at the damage. It was red and irritated, not to mention it was swelling too. I know it will be purple soon.

Knowing that staying will only make me damage his face until it's unrecognizable, I turn. I force my feet to move; one step after the other.

 "Anna, wait!" He yells. "Please." He says and I can literally hear his pleading. I don't stop. I keep walking. "Anna, just listen to me!"

I quicken my pace to the door but I hear footsteps behind me. Mint, Julie and Emma are following me. I feel a hand gripping my arm tightly. His hand.

I turn around slowly. I glare at Donovan's familiar face. His eyes are glassy and pleading. I slap his hand off my arm.

From the corner of my eye, I see Adam getting up with an angry expression on his face. He knows what happened a couple years ago.

"Why?" Don asks.

"Why what!"

"Why won't you just listen to me!" He shouts in frustration.

"Why won't you just leave me alone! I don't want to see you right now." I whisper the last part.

"Please." He pleads.

"Later, maybe. Just not now, okay?" I say. His eyes light up with hope and determination.

"Okay."

And then I leave the lunch room in silence, my friends following behind me.

And then I leave the lunch room in silence, my friends following behind me

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Well wasn't this dramatic? What do ya think? 

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