Love Is Not Over| Bts

2. Blames

Mia's POV

What a great life I've got! I am seriously sick of everything and everyone at this point of time. I had been trying so hard to adjust with all that had been going on in my life but it just didn't seem to work my way. And being the 'puny little mortals', we can never go against the will of the God and we can hardly do anything to challenge and change His plans for us.

I've been so tired of everything lately that I just want to sit in a corner and cry for hours, not worrying about what other people might think of me. Life has always been hard on me. I know that nobody's life can be simple, but mine has been just a bit more complicated than the others'. And its not like I am complaining or anything, I am just speaking my mind here.

I was in a park, sitting on a bench and crying my heart out just because no one was there to see me in such a pathetic state. I felt so weak and vulnerable at that moment that I couldn't even fight back my own tears. There's nobody to comfort me, understand me and care for me. Well well, my parents aren't dead but they are as good as dead.

My house doesn't deserves to be called a home. My parents have always been trying to break me apart. I don't have any explanations on why they hated me so much. Being called a murderer by your own parents isn't easy afterall. It takes a lot of courage to hear that and still be alive. However, according to them I am a shameless creature who's still alive after killing their daughter.

Yes, I am the alleged murderer of my own damn sister. How the hell could they even think of that! How could they not trust their own daughter! These questions always haunted me and made me question my whole existence. And that led me to this park, crying like a child.

One thing I would like to tell you here, I am not a crybaby. These tears had been bottled up inside me since many years and I was finally letting them out because I couldn't fight them ANYMORE. I had been fighting with loneliness from a long time. But still, it hadn't managed to break me or my courage. I put up a fight with it every time it tried to break through the protective walls I had built around me to shield myself from the eternal darkness of being lonely.

And this is what life is all about right? Life puts us through difficult situations to make us strong enough to deal with any sort of circumstances. We just have to believe in ourselves and in the Creator of this entire universe. Life keeps on getting more complicated the more we try to sort it out. We should just leave everything in the hands of God and believe in his Will. 'Yeah!! I feel 'INFIRED' now. I can probably just wipe off my tears and go to hell....I mean home... of course.' I stifled a small giggle at my thoughts.

I stood up from the bench while wiping off my tears and started going back home feeling really low. What makes it more tough for me to feel happy is seeing the others smiling and laughing with their families. I really envy them. I wish my family was also like their's and not anything like the dysfunctional family it actually is. The family I've always longed for, the love that I've always longed for, I wish I could feel that sort of love too.

The love which makes one the luckiest person in the world is missing from my life. The love which fills one's life with the splendid colours of warmth and happiness is unreachable for me. It has ran off to some random place and I am just not able to figure out how to bring it back.

'But anyways, I have to think about something else to change my mood otherwise, I would have to do a lot of explanations which I really hate to be honest.' I thought and kept on walking until I reached a deserted street. Not much people were around and spending some time there seemed like a good idea to me. So, I plugged in my earphones and started listening to the songs I liked.