Pyre (Frerard, Rikey, Ryden, Petekey)

35: Four And Fear And Fire

The next few hours were a muddled blur of tears and agony for Gerard. He didn't know how much time had passed since he'd found Mikey's letter, or how long he had spent curled up in his bed as one of the last remaining pillars supporting his fragile grip on sanity fell to dust, but it didn't matter really, nothing did besides Frank, but even the thought of his mate brought him no comfort when he was banned from seeing him.

Eventually, Gerard lifted his head from Mikey's pillow, his bleary eyes meeting Ryan's sympathetic gaze briefly. He felt slightly guilty for keeping the other vampire here, especially when his worry for Pete had to be gnawing away at him, but Gerard couldn't bear to be left on his own right now, that would surely break him completely.

"Where's Brendon?" Gerard croaked out when he realized that the man was nowhere to be seen.

"He went out a little while ago to inform Bert of what's happened and to ask for his help in looking for Pete. The sun has set now, so maybe he'll come back with good news," Ryan smiled hopefully, but Gerard didn't share his positive attitude.

"Mikey wouldn't let anything change his mind, not after writing this," Gerard sighed, knowing somehow that Mikey was truly dead. Siblings might not share a bond like mates did, but Gerard was connected to him in a similar fashion, and he could feel his absence gaping in the center of his chest. "Mikey's stubborn, and without Ray, he was always going to end up doing this eventually, I was just stupid enough to convince myself that he wouldn't."

"Don't say that Gerard, you did the best that you could, and he lasted for much longer than most people that lose their mates," Ryan soothed him. "He loved you, and he tried so hard to stay for you. I know this probably doesn't help at all, but he's in a better place now, and he's happy, which he would never truly be while he was still alive."

Gerard mulled over what to say as a reply, but before he could gather his scattered thoughts, the sound of the front door opening interrupted their hushed conversation.

"Is that Brendon?" Gerard asked, an irritating bubble of hope unfurling inside of him even though Gerard was certain that Mikey was dead, but still - maybe something, or someone had managed to change his mind before the end.

"I think so," Ryan nodded, his face crumpling slightly when the sound of stifled sobs filled both of their ears.

"You can go to him, I'll be fine," Gerard promised when Ryan shifted uncomfortably, earning himself a grateful smile from the other vampire before he rushed into the main room.

Gerard didn't need to ask Brendon what he had found, his cries were answer enough. Gerard could almost picture the scene Brendon had discovered, not that it took much imagination to envision two dwindling piles of ash slightly hidden by the snow, if it was still falling that is, Gerard hadn't been outside in so long he couldn't even be sure of the season anymore.

Gerard sniffled softly to himself as his own eyes began stinging again, but no proper tears fell yet. Gerard was too empty to produce them, Mikey's death had completely gutted him, and Gerard had no idea how to repair this all encompassing wound.

In a desperate attempt to hold himself together while Brendon appeared to be falling apart in the next room, Gerard removed himself from Mikey's bed, the simple act using up a ridiculous amount of effort. Channeling all the energy he had left, Gerard made it back to his room, his numb fingers fumbling for his phone which he kept hidden away underneath his mattress.

Gerard inhaled heavily as he dialed one of the two numbers he had saved to his contacts, the other being Mikey's, his throat closing up as the now familiar ringing sound filled his ears while he waited for Frank to pick up.