We reluctantly leave Sang with the Reese team and head back to Dr. Roberts' house for our family meeting. I turn to Vic and try to figure out what to say. It's been an awful week, and I've never wished for a do-over more than I do right now.
"Stop," he says when he sees me looking at him. "I promised Sang I'd try and get over it, and I already apologized to you. Let's not make this worse."
I remain silent for a few minutes, thinking about my stupidity while he navigates through early lunch traffic.
"I am sorry," I tell him as we pull back into Sang's neighborhood. "I know how badly I screwed up, and I'm going to finally actually try listening to Kota's advice."
The corner of Vic's mouth quirks up and he shakes his head. "It only took you fourteen years, Nate." He parks in the driveway and turns to me after shutting off the engine. "Next time, don't let it go this long, okay? You've been weird for weeks, and instead of talking to one of us about it, you let it fester. Look where it's gotten you. You really hurt her." I lower my head in shame at his words and he puts a hand on my shoulder. "We're really lucky to have her. She's so incredibly selfless, and she really does have a heart of gold. Accept her forgiveness graciously and help us all to move on."
We get out of the car and let ourselves into the house. Vic taps his fingers on his thigh, and I know that there's still something on his mind.
"Spit it out," I tell him.
He doesn't talk right away, but heads into the room that Dr. Roberts designated as 'ours'. He collapses into a chair and waves his hand at one of the others. I take a seat and wait him out.
Vic sits forward and furrows his brow, his fingers still tapping out an unknown melody on his thigh. "I'm not accusing you or anything, but I guess I just don't understand how you could have even looked at another girl."
I sigh. I knew that one of them would ask me eventually, and I'm not sure if I really have an answer. 'I was dumb' doesn't seem good enough.
"I mean, Nate," he runs a hand through his hair, "I don't even see anyone else, you know? I thought you were the same, but then you go and kiss this other person, and I just don't get it. Did you like it? Was there something extra special about her? Did you do it to hurt Sang on purpose? It just seems so out of character for you."
He stares at me, expecting an answer that I'm not really sure I know how to give.
"I didn't like it, not really," I start. It's true too. Even though I tried, I felt guilty as I was doing it. "It felt weird to kiss someone else, and though it wasn't really fair to Olivia either, I was imagining that it was Sang. It's like I truly became my father's son in that moment." I look away, unable to maintain eye contact while admitting to this. "I used to think that I would never treat a woman the way my dad did, but now...put a bottle of Jack in my hand and-" I swallow down the lump in my throat and see Kota and Gabe walk into the room.
"Fuck that shit," Gabe growls, surprising me. "Look, none of us are anything like our worthless sperm donors, and I'd be surprised if you ever went near the sauce, Nate. You're not your old man, and even though you treated both Trouble and that other Academy girl like shit. Sang forgave you," he smacks me on the back of the head and takes a seat in the chair beside Victor. "So suck it up, buttercup, and stop making excuses for the inexcusable. You did a shit thing. You apologized. You were forgiven." He hangs his knee over the arm of the chair and swings his foot back and forth. "Don't do it again, and we're good."
Silas comes in, and he and Kota both grab a seat as well, and everyone looks at me expectantly.
"You don't have to worry," I mutter. "I hate myself so much for this that there's no way in hell I'd ever be able to do something like this again. Besides," I look at Kota, "I've decided to start following your advice."
