Dear Diary,
Last night was the first time in a while that I slept without dreaming. I think it's probably a good thing, because I finally feel like I have the energy to face the day ahead of me.
Yesterday, I found out that because of my father's treatment as I was growing, that my body is physically stunted. That I've only gone through a part of puberty. I'm not quite sure how I feel about this. I guess I'm disappointed.
If you've been a sexual object for as long as I have, the least you could get out of it is to be considered a woman. I realize that that's just a mindset, but I can't help but feel like I've been cheated yet again. When will I get to the point where I can just move forward with my life?
Also, I found out about my mother. That one was definitely a smack in the face. I guess that I always harbored a hope that she was out there in the world, living a life that was free from the prison in which I was raised. To be told that she was a good friend to Echo was nice, but it doesn't fill the void. To learn that she was kept as I was is heartbreaking, and I admit that I'm relieved that Luke found me before I suffered her same fate.
I know that it's a lot of emotions jumbled and swirling around inside of me. I feel like I'm going to explode one of these days. I need to make sure to ask the girls about this in group. Maybe they know how to deal with it. All of those negative experiences are battling in my brain with the echoing words from Gabriel and Sean telling me that they love me.
Rosie was right. Being a teenage girl is hard!
