Star wars the clone wars one shots preferences and imagines

The Pain of Death

(Warning! mentions of suicide! And depressing! Do not read if these are triggers!)

"The mission...the nightmares....their finally...over..."

Those words rang throughout Rex's head since his best friend died. 

"Death isn't painless, it's painful for the one who is dying, and for their loved ones. Sometimes the pain heals, and other times, it never does." 

That's what he had heard. And he believed it. It had only been a day, and today was the funeral.

He stood beside the casket, guns ready, him and a few of his men, the ones who really knew fives, were going to do a salute. Rex was told to keep the helmet, the helmet of his best friend, and brother. 

After the funeral, he didn't talk to anyone. He went straight to his room, and didn't leave it. When he didn't come out for a couple days is when people really started to worry. They could hear sobs and sniffles in the night. 

Ashoka worried for her dear friend, worried he might do something, that he would regret. 

"Rex?" She asked, soft knocks on the door. No answer. "Rex?" She called a bit louder. "G-go away." She heard a shaky, raspy voice say. She sighed, glad he was okay. "Rex, let me in.." She said softly. "Just leave me alone..." Said the forlorn Captain. "Rex. Let me in, that's an order from your commander." She stated, only wanting to help.

She heard shuffling, and the door opened, and revealed a disheveled Rex. His eyes were red, he was pale, he hadn't shaved, and the hair was growing to be more then stubble, along with the hair atop his head. He was broken, Ashoka could see it in his eyes, and you didn't have to be a Jedi to see that he was going through a lot.

"What do you want?" He asked annoyed, "I want to help, Rex. Please, talk to me..." She pleaded. Rex looked around, and let her in. He sat on the floor beside his bunk, Ashoka sat beside him. "You can't just hide away in your room forever, y'know. You have to talk about sooner or later." She said. "I'd rather it later, or never." He replied coldly. Ashoka had never seen him like this, she was scared. He always stayed strong when one of his brothers died, but this was different.

"Rex, please. You haven't eaten in days, haven't left your room, I'm worried about you." Ashoka said, "Why? I'm completely fine." He stated. "Rex! Your not fine! Don't lie to me!" Ashoka yelled. Rex didn't even look at her. His brown eyes, that used to be full of life, were now dull. 

"Rex, just talk to me, please." She begged, Rex sighed. "What do you want me to say?" He asked, finally locking eyes with her. "Anything." She stated. He took a deep breath, and thought. Finally deciding to talk about it, to the only person he could trust right now. "I....I miss him, Ashoka. And it hurts, it hurts...bad." He told her, finally letting it go. 

"I know, i miss him too, he was a good friend to me. But he was your best friend, and brother." She replied, "This is pain like no other i've experienced, my heart aches, and i can't even sleep." He said. "First Echo, then Hardcase, and now...Fives..." Tears began rolling, once again, down his cheeks. He dried them quickly, not wanting to seem weak in front of his commander. 

Ashoka stopped him, "Don't. Let them fall, you'll feel better." "But-" "I'm not your Commander right now, Rex. I'm your friend, as i always am." She told him. He nodded, "Can i confess something to you?" He asked quietly, She nodded, "Of course." She said. "I'm tired, tired of having to be strong all the time. Having to push back the tears and pain. I want it to stop. All of it.." He said, this scared Ashoka, because she knew what he meant. 

"Rex, don't say that. You don't mean it." She pleaded. "Honestly, i don't know what to think anymore. Maybe i do want to go, maybe i don't. If i left, people would mourn over me as i with Fives. But i wouldn't have to feel this pain anymore..." He told her, Ashoka hugged him. It surprised Rex a bit, but he welcomed the hug.