Unraveling Ava (Editing)

Prologue

I want to dedicate this chapter to @simonesaidwhat she's an incredible and extremely talented writer. I look up to her in many ways and reading her stories made me want to go back into writing. She also made my beautiful cover above, so thank you Simone. If you haven't checked out her work, you should, I promise you won't regret it.

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My shadow's the only one that walks beside me

My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating

Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me

Till then I walk alone

*Trigger warning*
(mentions of alcohol & drug abuse)

I slowly twirl around to the music playing loudly in the background. The whole room is crowded with individuals jumping up and down with drinks in their hands. Somehow, I manage to feel utterly alone in a room full of nameless faces.

Leaning my head back, I take a small sip of my drink and smile. No longer did it come with a burning sensation as it went down my throat. The past sensation of disgust is now replaced with pure ecstasy. I love how it makes me feel at ease, as if I'm on a single cloud away from this unbearable hell.

On this very cloud, I'm safe from the horrors and cruelty of the world and most importantly the monsters that lurk beneath them. It's my escape from the nightmare I can never seem to wake up from. Nobody can touch me here. Feelings such as agony and desolation don't exist here, it's my safe heaven, but the things I need to do, to get there are just as horrific as the monsters themselves.

However, the high never lasts long enough to subside the feelings inside. I always find myself longing for more. I do whatever I can to feel anything, but the pain I feel inside, the disgust, the hatred and emptiness. I just want to feel something else. Anything.

I do whatever I can, but it never works in my favor, the state of complete emptiness and misery always returns stronger than ever. The saddest part of it all is it only makes me strive for more, even if it ends up killing me. Maybe it will be worth it, at least it will be over. I'll be free.

"Hurricane, I got something for you." Abdul wraps his arms around my waist. I lean back to savor this gentle touch. He smiles down at me, leaving a short kiss on my temple. I smell the alcohol on his breath, yet it doesn't terrify me like it does with-

No Ava, don't think.

"Finish the song with me first." He holds me tighter and moves my body with his. I savor the moment while I can, it's what I need and for a split-second it helps me forget.

It's nice, simple even unlike every other segment of my life. When the song finishes, I turn back to face Abdul. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer. He presses his forehead against mine, but doesn't say anything. He breathes deeply before pressing his lips on my own for a slight second. He smiles when I pull him closer, almost knocking us off our feet. I brush my lips across his and feel his tongue on my lower lip. He keeps his arms tightly around me, as if I am about to disappear into thin air, he knows my tendencies better than anyone.

"What you got?" I whisper.

"Follow me and see." He grabs a hold of my hand and leads the way to an empty bedroom.

Once we're inside, I lock the door behind me. I look back to face Abdul and see him smiling back at me. He shakes his head, flopping his hair side to side before running his hand through it. I lean against the door and wait for him to say something. Instead he takes a clear bag out of his pocket, revealing little, purple pills. My lips turn upwards when I realize I have never see them before.