lonely || sidemen || completed

/recluse/

/jj/

I waited for him at the bus stop.

Is that weird? Admittedly, we didn't know each other, but there was a part of me- in fact, a massive part of me- which just felt bad. It went past responsible, which is how I usually felt, or guilty, and developed slowly into bad.

At half three, when he would usually be sprinting towards the bus, Cal and the others tried to coax me through the doors.

'Nah.' I said. 'I got stuff to do- I'll walk home.' They left with the bus, and I was on my own.

He was an hour late, about the same time as the next bus, and as he walked towards me, I saw him stop.

'It's okay.' I called across the gap. 'Honestly. It's just me'

'Come on, then.' he said defeatedly. 'Get it over with. Where are the rest of your little squad? Hiding in the bushes? You gonna get your phone out, so you can record them fucking me up?' he held his arms out, looking around himself.

'Just fucking get it over with!' he yelled.

'Harry!' I said firmly, and he looked over at me. His eyes were full of judgement and something else. Worry?

'It's just me.' I said again.

'What do you want?' he called across the bridge between us.

'To fix it, Harry! I don't... I don't know why you hate me, but I want it to... I don't want it to be like this.' My words bridged the gap, or at least they did in my eyes.

He cut the ropes, and my bridge crashed.

'You don't know what you did?' he exclaimed. 'You fucked it up, JJ. You and your little friends.'

'They aren't my friends.' I called back. 'I mean, Cal, yeah- but not really the others. I just... They're the football team, aren't they?'

Harry's eyes met mine, and I tried to smile.

'Who are your friends then?' he asked. His voice was slightly lower than before.

'I don't know.'

There was a pause.

'I know who I want my friends to be. Cal, obviously. Tobi. Simon. Josh, even- Good people.'

'Tobi?' The name caught Harry's attention. 'You know Tobi?'

I nodded, and Harry stepped closer. 'Me too. He's my friend.'

'Who else?' I asked.

'Vik. He's my best friend. Tobi. Ethan Payne- Recognise the name? Your friends 'like' him, too.' he glared at me, but carried on. 'Josh. I think.'

'So what about me?'

Harry frowned, looking down at his hands.

'I don't know, JJ.'

Suddenly, the bus pulled up beside us, distracting us from our conversation.

'Look.' I said directly as Harry gazed at the empty seats. 'Sit with me. Me and you. We can... I don't know, talk. Tobi trusts me. Josh does. We could... Maybe we could be friends, too?'

Harry raised an eyebrow. 'You sound like a nine-year old.'

I let a laugh sneak through my mouth, as Harry smiled slightly too.

'Fine.' he mumbled. 'You have one chance. '

I think it's safe to say that he was so much more than Reece and Tom and Matty. For one, he was funnier. He made jokes about things that were interesting, and laughed at what I said- but only when it was actually funny. He didn't just laugh at old people, or sad people, or ugly people, like the others did. It was nice to go the whole journey without hearing a gay joke, too, something usually directed at Cal. We all had our suspicions about him, but it seemed like Tom and Reese were really bothered by it.

'I think you would get on with him, y'know.' I mused out loud.

'Who?' Harry asked, looking at me intently with clear eyes.

'Cal. He's a good guy.'

Harry blushed, his eyes switching down to his hands.

'Baby steps, JJ.'

I think we both got off the bus happier.

~~
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