Ethereal

Thirty

"Oh." Was all Camila managed to get out.

"Where is she?"
Ally spoke up.

"They just went down that road." Normani pointed towards the road through the glass doors.

Lauren and Dinah appeared in sight a couple minutes later. Camila walked outside, but not before stumbling over the curb.

"You good, babe?" Lauren smiled and placed one arm around Camila's waist.

"Yeah I'm just a klutz. I'm not dizzy or anything." Camila reassured. "You don't seem mad?"

"Just needed a breather."

"Let's go home." Ally called. Lauren nodded and walked towards the large car.

-

Camila never thought she'd let her eating disorder get as bad as it was. But here she is, in the food court of a mall, trying to withhold herself from having a panic attack. 5 years ago, all she was trying to do was loose weight for the cheer team. Now, she was sitting at the same weight she was when she auditioned for the team. The same weight a normal 11 year old would weigh. It wasn't even that big of a deal to lose weight to her. But that was back then. She started off with just eating a little healthier. It gradually progressed into skipping breakfast, then lunch. And eventually she ate nothing for days at a time.

Her cheer coach told her they would kick her off the team if she lost any more weight. But she didn't listen and she continued to lose weight. Her dad couldn't afford to pay for cheer on his own anyways. It didn't matter to her anymore. No one worried about her anymore when she quit the cheer team. Except for her childhood friend Mackenzie.

Camila felt bad for admitting it, but she was glad her parents divorced in a sense. If anyone did find out about her eating disorder, she could blame it on the divorce. It would actually give her a reason.

"Camila," Lauren broke the Cuban out of her thoughts. "I know not everything is going to change overnight. But can you please try for me. And stop bouncing your leg. Please."

"Lauren, I just got dazed out a little. I'm fine I wasn't stressing." Camila only half lied.

"You know how it goes. You don't eat, I don't eat." Lauren coaxed.

"I never said I wasn't going to eat Lauren." Camila sat staring at the plate of food in front of her for a good while.

"Camila." Lauren stressed. Hearing her name out of Lauren's mouth used to be one of her favorite things. But not she wasn't so sure. Lauren only called her Camila when she was trying to be more stern.

"I literally don't see what you see. I know we have this conversation a lot but it's because it needs to be said. You need to eat. If you don't eat, your body starts to shut down. When your body shuts down, you die." Lauren groaned. "I seriously don't see how you can see yourself as "fat" Camila,"

"The mirror doesn't lie, Lauren."

"There's no book for this Camila." Lauren stressed.

"What?" Camila furrowed her eyebrows.

"There is no book on how to save your girlfriend with an eating disorders life. If that makes sense. I feel like I'm driving down a highway blindfolded. I don't know what I'm doing."