Learning A Lake ✔

- Thirty-Six -

I couldn't help but notice how much Ryan studied my actions at the table, he watched me as I took each bite of my sandwich. I'd often pull stupid faces at him, knocking the small frown from his face and replacing it with a smile and the occasional laugh.

"What do you want to do after uni?" I questioned Ryan after answering his last question and taking a gulp of orange juice.

Ryan frowned at my question and relaxed before replying. "I've been thinking about that lately." He replied after finishing his third sandwich. "Before, I didn't know what I wanted to do. Well, I still don't really know what I want to do, but, I want live like my sister never could." I was shocked by his response and his new found confidence when speaking about his late sister. "I'm not going to let anything get in my way. What about you?" He returned his gaze back to me and took a sip of drink. 

"Uh..." I began, not knowing how I would respond to his words. "I just want to make sure I don't have much to worry about. There's no point spending life worrying about things that could never happen." I smiled and then added one last bit to my reply. "I do want my own family in the future too."  I finished nibbling my last sandwich and drank the rest of my juice. His eyes widened to begin with but looking at my clean plate put an automatic smile on his face, like it was a relief that I had a full tummy.

We carried on asking each other questions, I noticed his gaze would often drop to my necklace. I fiddled with it a lot, even more so when I wasn't with him and I never took it off. It kept him close even when he wasn't.

---

"What about this one?" Rachel held up a small and short red dress. I immediately shook my head, it looked horrible. 
"God, you are picky woman! Katie mumbled and stormed into the next aisle to keep looking.

It took them both around ten minutes each to decide what dress to wear and here we were, and hour later, and I still hadn't seen one that I liked at all. 
"Sorry." I said sheepishly. "I will know when I find the one."

"You've turned up your nose at every single one so far." Rachel spoke and sat down on one of the seats near the shoe section. This was an indication that she was giving up on helping me.

All the dresses they had showed me were very extravagant and rather prom like. Sparkly, puffy or slutty and short. I realised what I wanted now; something simple.

When I realised we were in the crazy dress part of the shop I simply rolled my eyes and left them both to sulk. I knew finding a dress on my own might be easier this time.

After a few minutes of looking I pulled out a dress from the rail and took a closer look at it, a smile full of relief tugging onto my face.

Katie had found me.
"There you are, I wondered what you were doing." She gazed at the dress in my hand. "Bit plain?" She asked.

"Not at all, I like plain. I don't want to stand out if I'm honest." The dress I was holding was a simple pastel blue dress and it was pattern free. It would hug me at the waist but spread out a little bit as it ended at the knees. It had a high neck too. It was perfect.

"I'm having this one." I said, even before trying it on.

"Are you sure?" Katie asked once more.
"Thank god, she's chosen a dress, can we go now, I'm starving and the bakery over the road is calling me name." Rachel groaned, I just laughed at her.
"I definitely want it, but I will try it on anyway." Taking the dress and made my way to the changing rooms, Katie and Rachel followed and waited outside whilst trying it on.

It hugged my figure perfectly. Twirling around to look at myself at all angles, I cracked a smile. I felt comfortable and happy in this dress. It was definitely the one and when I tugged the chain of my new necklace out from the collar of the dress and let it fall on top of it, I couldn't help but smile even more.

"Are you done yet, Weller?" Katie questioned me from outside of the changing room.

"This is the dress." I commented with glee and began to get changed again.
"Hallelujah!" I heard Rachel speak in the distance of the changing rooms. "Oi, I heard that Rach!" I spoke with a gentle laugh and gathered up my things, including the dress I had now picked.
"You look amazing, Laura." My best friend inspected the dress and gave me a cheery smile. 

We finished our day out by picking shoes and accessories for our dresses. I could pick shoes out quite easily so Rachel had nothing to moan about, apart from now, Katie was being picky with the shoes and bags.

Me and Rachel rolled our eyes and helped her pick out some accessories.

---

♢ Ryan ♢

Finishing my first work out since leaving England left me feeling breathless, similar to how Laura made me feel and that was more often than not.

Matt had left me shortly before I finished. I had been a bit hesitant to question him about something, but now it us was just us two I knew I needed to do it while I had the chance.

I came out of the bathroom, rubbing my hair with my towel to remove any excess water. My brother was casually sat on his bed scrolling through something on his phone, a slight frown showing on his face.

"You knew the whole time." I stated bluntly.
"Huh?" he looked up from his phone, his frown deepening.
"You knew the truth, all this time." I sat down on the end of his bed, slipping a polo shirt on. When he realised what I was talking about he rubbed the side of his face in frustration.

"Don't be pissed off, I had to keep a promise to her." He groaned at me.

"Oh, I'm not pissed off, I just want to know how you felt about it. Of course, I understand that she wanted you to keep it as a promise."

"It pretty much broke me in half. Knowing all that when you didn't, it caused my drinking problem. I couldn't tell anyone and drinking made me forget about it for a while. I was stuck with this secret and I daren't talk to mum and dad about it."

I simply nodded in understanding. "I'm going to ask them about it when we get back." I looked up at him. "I want to know why it was hidden, we are a family. Despite being a broken one, we are still somewhat, a family."

His eyes began to glass over with fresh tears, threatening to spill over the edge of his eyelids. He gently nodded, agreeing that we needed to speak to our parents about it.

"Lacey made me promise not to let you find out until your birthday. And I made Laura promise to be there when you found out."

I snapped my head up to meet his gaze at the mention of Laura's name.
"What do you mean?"

"I asked Laura to give it to you and I said that she needed to be there. She's keeping you together, Ryan. You need to remember that, don't be scared of committing to this girl."

In that moment, I knew I couldn't hold back any more. Part of me had been scared of committing myself to Laura, I had never had to do it before. This was all new to me and I realised that worrying about it was a waste of time.

Looking at how Oscars life had been handed to him, hesitating was not an option. It was all or nothing now. And wanting Laura to be more than my friend, was all I wanted.