Learning A Lake ✔

- Twenty-Eight -

♢ Laura ♢

"He warned you about Joel then?" Rachel's question made me freeze and place my cup of hot chocolate onto the table.
"Yeah, how did you know?" I swallowed the sip I had just taken. 
"He never stops moaning about him and he said that all he was doing on your birthday was eyeing you up."
I rolled my eyes a little. "He has a point but he needs to not worry about it, I can stick up for myself." I said confidently.

Truth was though, I couldn't stick up for myself. I wouldn't know where to start. After being attacked and nearly being assaulted by Matt, the emotional wounds were still deep and raw. Not letting it show was the easy option at the moment. I was working on forgiving Matt and I didn't mind that he was with Rachel. It was a drunken mistake caused by his shit past. I should be hating his guts, but instead I just feel sorry for him.

Being attacked by Jane was definitely more mentally damaging, the trauma and the pain came rushing back to me so easily.

I didn't want to admit this all to anyone, especially Ryan. He was going through so much pain of his own, especially after what Matt told me. He doesn't need to take the weight of my pain too. That would push him over the edge.

My comment didn't receive a response from Rachel but she carried on eating her breakfast.

"You going to eat anything?" She looked up from her cereal bowl.
"Not hungry." I tried to avoid her eyes. I received a look of disappointment mixed with some raised eyebrows.
"I'll tell Ryan."
"You sound like my mother!" I reluctantly got up from the table and got some toast and jam from the breakfast buffet.

When I returned, Rachel's face had a smug look slapped onto it.
"You're blackmailing me!" I protested against her.
"Well it's working so why not." She couldn't hold back her laugh. "And you know full well he would have a shit fit if he found out you weren't eating!" She said on a more serious note, and her point was valid so I couldn't argue. Instead, I ate my toast in silence.

It wasn't long before Rachel spoke again.
"Did he get upset when he told you?" I instantly knew her question was about their sister.
I swallowed my piece of toast and nodded. "Did Matt cry too?" I whispered.
Instead of replying, Rachel's eyes widened before smiling. She was looking behind me. I could already tell that the very two people we were just talking about were now stood behind me. 

My thoughts were confirmed when he placed one hand on my shoulder and gently squeezed it before sitting down next to me with a coffee.
"Alright bub?" He asked after taking a glug of his drink. Matt had followed suit and sat next to Rachel, giving her a quick kiss.
"Yeah, another lovely day in America." I replied sarcastically as it continued to pour with rain outside, it had done the same thing for the past few days now and I was getting fed up of it. I'm sure the miserable British weather had followed us here. My comment received a laugh from everyone at the table.

"Very true, at least we haven't been doing outdoor activities." Ryan stated.
"Are you okay then?" I asked him, he seemed a little quiet and low compared to normal.
He shrugged before even contemplating his reply to me.
"Just been thinking too much." He grumbled and proceeded to drink the remainder of his coffee.
"Want to talk about it?" I asked, linking my arm with his and leaning against his shoulder.
"Maybe later, I just need a distraction at the moment."

That distraction came quicker than I thought it would. Rhi had walked into the cafeteria and was clearing her throat to get everyone's attention.

"Morning guys!" She looked rather happy today. "Seeing as a lot of you are here for breakfast right now I would like to share some exciting news with you all!" With her words, everyone in the room silenced. I was eager and anxious to find out what she was going tell us.
"Because this is the first year that we have had boys at camp we have decided to put together an end of camp party. It will take place two days before you all go home and will be a prom theme, which means, you will need to couple up." She laughed to herself. I looked at Matt who was rolling his eyes.

"Yes, there is more girls than boys but who cares, it will be cute! There will be posters displayed around camp with more information but I'm really looking forward to it and I hope you all are too!"
She was rather over excited about this. She had always been an eccentric camp leader and I don't think that would ever change, she was full of surprises. 
"That's all, thanks guys, get back to your breakfast!" Rhi finished her announcement and left the room, which had now filled with conversations again. I was liking the idea of a camp party/dance. It would be a nice way of finishing my last year here. The thought lightened my mood but Ryan didn't seemed to be phased by it. Something was definitely on his mind. 

"Not another bloody prom." Matt moaned. "I've had to put up with one of those already."
"But you've got me!" Rachel pointed out and kissed his cheek.
"That is very true my dear." He said with a grin before pulling her in for a proper kiss. I could almost hear Ryan cringing beside me. They showed their affection very publicly, more now than they ever had. I'm sure Ryan and I were thinking the exact same thing right now: They were rushing things.

I know neither of us wanted to comment in case it started an argument, but we were all thinking it. I had since Rachel spilled that her and Matt had already had sex.

"I need to go wash my clothes." Ryan announced and got up from the table. I suppressed a laugh and got up to follow him.

We both exited the cafeteria and surely, it was still raining. I put my hood up just in time before Ryan grabbed my hand and pulled me into the pouring rain. We ran towards his cabin and we still got soaked even though he had practically dragged me there. He ran a lot faster than me. 

I had to ring out my hair and take my hoodie off by the time we got there and Ryan was now unlocking the cabin.

After we made our way in the cabin Ryan picked up his dirty washing from the floor which was in a pile... right next to the hamper. Typical. I couldn't help but laugh at him.
"So, you weren't lying when you said you needed to wash your clothes."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because it seemed like a good excuse to get away from the loved-up couple."
"Don't even go there." He huffed a little. "They are doing my head in, but yeah, I do need to do my washing."

I couldn't argue with that so I let him collect his washing together into the hamper and we walked quietly to the laundry room. The rain had now stopped but the rumble of thunder still lingered in the distance. The fresh smell of the rain was now filling the air.  

"I'm going to be honest with you Laura." Ryan stated after shutting the washing machine door and pressing a few buttons on it to start the wash. My heart rate started to rise, it doubled its speed at least. What was he about to say. It seemed like hours before he replied, when it was only really seconds.
"I've been feeling shit lately." He said with a deep sigh and sat down on the table in the room. "It's not because of you, in fact you help a lot. You're keeping me going." I received a small smile from him, which soon disappeared again when he got back to the point of the conversation. 

"I don't want to admit defeat but, I really miss her and I usually visit her in the cemetery once a week. I haven't been in a while." He squeezed the bridge of his nose. I knew he was hurting and Matt was right. He would show it sooner rather than later. "I thought it would get better, but it's not." His voice cracked.

I walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. I was about to speak when he pulled me closer to him. His arms laced around my waist and buried his head into my shoulder, not saying another word. I wrapped my arms around his neck and interlocked my fingers into his hair.

This was the least I could do, just be there. I didn't want to say to him 'everything will be okay' because I can't promise that to him. There was only one thing I could promise him.
"I'm not going to leave you."

"Thank you."