Ethereal

Twenty one

"Have you tried talking Demi? She's been through this before." Dinah suggested, propping her head on her hand.

"Demi wants me to go to Timberline Knolls. I'm not crazy Dinah. I don't need to go." Camila stated firmly. Dinah suddenly came up with an idea of therapy. It wasn't like she was staying as an impatient. She would just be an outpatient. Group therapy would work best. Personalized therapy wouldn't work well with Camila's snappy attitude. But Dinah figured Camila wouldn't snap at the therapist if there were other people in the room. She's going out on a real limb here, but anything to help Camila get better. She'd do anything to help. She couldn't lose her Camila.

-
"What are you doing? That's a wrong turn Dinah." Camila complained. Dinah bit her lip. She told Camila they were going shopping at the mall, but they weren't. Dinah felt guilty, but she knew it was for the best.

Dinah pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. She locked the doors, scared of Camila's reaction. This was just one group therapy appointment. If it didn't go well, she would come up with an alternative solution.

Camila turned her face to Dinah in shock. Dinah flashed a smile and took the small girl's hands in hers.

"Don't freak out. I'm not admitting you. You know I wouldn't do that. It's just therapy. It's one appointment, if you don't like it we won't ever do it again I promise." Dinah held her pinky up. Camila interlocked her pinky with Dinah's. Her hands were shaking with nerves. She kissed her thumb to seal the promise and Dinah copied her actions.

The 2 girls got out of the car and made their way into the hospital. Camila was hoping to avoid Lexie on the way in and out. She always made a big deal of Camila being at the hospital. Dinah led Camila upstairs. The taller girl opened the door to the therapy room. Camila bit her lip and stepped backwards. She felt so out of place. All the girls in the room were stick thin, but gorgeous. She didn't feel the need to be there, she thought she wasn't skinny enough to have an eating disorder. But she definitely was. Dinah put her hand on Camila's back to lead her into the room.

"I'll wait right out here on the bench okay? It's not that long just an hour and a half. Please at least try okay? I know you have anxiety, but I paid for this okay?" Dinah pulled the smaller girl in for a hug and nudged her into the room.

Camila stepped in and played with her fingers. She stood awkwardly in the doorway. Everyone else was already in their chairs, although it was early. The chairs were placed in a circle in the middle of the room. She assumed the group therapy was for girls only, seeing that there was only girls in the room. The girls flashed her warm smiles and some seemed star struck. Of course there would be a harmonizer in the room. She could tell by the fifth harmony sweatshirt she was wearing.

A tall girl with curly hair walked over to Camila and held her hand out, "You must be Camila? I'm Dr. Turner, I'll be your therapist. Don't be nervous, the girls here are very welcoming." The doctor motioned for Camila to take a seat. She sat next to a girl who had light brown hair and green eyes, Lauren's eyes.

"I'm Leah." She introduced herself with a cheesy smile. Camila smiled in response.

"I'm Camila." The brown eyed girl answered. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Except for the whole talking about her eating habits in front of 10 other girls who had the same eating disorder she did.

"Okay well since everyone's here already, let's go around the circle and introduce ourselves to Camila." Starting with Leah, everyone went around the circle stating their names. Camila thought this was pointless. She would just forgot their names anyways. She pulled her legs up on he chair and wrapped her arms around her knees, resting her head on top of her knees.

Camila zoned out, she felt like she was in school again and she hated it. She perked her head up when she heard her name being called.

"Uh I'm sorry can you repeat that?" Camila asked timidly, running her hand through her hair.

"Can you share with us a little bit about how your anorexia started? Don't be scared, the other kids just did as well." Dr. Turner gave her an encouraging smile.

"Oh, I don't have an eating disorder." Camila shrugged her shoulders and returned back to her position. Some other kids in the room scoffed. Camila sent a glare in their direction but then turned her attention back to her therapist. "Okay. Fine maybe you guys think I do. I'm not skinny enough to have an eating disorder anymore." Camila expressed her opinion honestly.

"And does anyone want to share their opinion on Camila's statement?" Dr. Turner asked in a soft tone. Hands immediately shot up in the air and Camila bit her lip. The doctor, whose first name she learned was Violet, pointed towards someone. A girl with blonde hair, blue eyes, and an eating disorder. Typical Barbie. Camila wasn't sure why she was being so quick to judge others. Usually she was open and warm towards other people.

"I call bullshit! You're easily the skinniest one in the room. Girl I don't know how you see your self as fat. You're just bones." Camila laughed at the girl's response. She had a slight British accent, and she wasn't expecting that response.

"Thank you." Camila responded to the girl, who looked to be about 15.

It was nearing the end of the session. She only had about 10 minutes left. She saw a camera flash and whipped her head around. The harmonizer, Gabbie, took a picture of Camila.

Camila scrambled out of her seat. She walked up to Violet and stood nervously in front of her.

"I need to go, if that's okay." She frantically asked.

"Yeah, its fine, I hope I see you back here on Wednesday. I think you could use more sessions." Camila was already out the door before she could here the therapist finish her sentence.

She found Dinah half asleep on the bench outside and dug through her bag, pulling her phone out of Dinah's purse.

"What are you doing C? You could have just asked for it back." Dinah groaned, standing up from the bench.

"Some girl took a picture of me in the therapy session. I sat right by the eating disorder ward sign. She's going to post it. I don't want the fans to find out. This is how they found out about my cuts. Dinah. I can't breathe." Camila brought her hands to her face and attempted to slow her breathing.

"Mila. Listen, yes the fan probably is going to post it. But when she does you don't have to confirm it. You can stay silent. You're allowed to delete your twitter and Instagram or whatever. Or you can post about it now before she leaks the picture." Dinah calmed the girl down.

Camila nodded her head and sat down on the bench. She pulled her phone out and took a quick selfie, making sure it was a good one before loading Instagram. She hovered her fingers above the keyboard for a minute, debating her choices. The fans deserved better then just radio silence from Camila, but at the same time she shouldn't be pressured to write about her eating disorder. Especially when she was not ready, mentally or physically.

"Hey guys. I wanted you to hear this from me first. There's something serious that I am dealing with right now. But for right now, I just need you guys to respect my privacy. I will tell you when I am ready. Don't stress. I'm fine. Always have been, always will be. Don't believe everything you see on the internet, including pictures. Be nice to yourselves :) xx."

That would have to work for the moment. She definitely was not going to open up about her eating disorder anything soon. She posted it to Instagram and motioned Dinah to follow her to the car.
-
"I need a nap." Camila stated while curling up on the couch. Dinah chuckled and nodded in agreement before heading up to her room. Camila pulled her body tighter into a ball. She was cold, but what's new? Camila fell asleep on the couch as soon as Lauren came down the stairs. The green eyed girl smiled at the sight in front of her. Lauren snaked her arms underneath Camila's cold body and lifted her, carrying her up the stairs to her bed in their LA house. Lauren laid down next to the small girl and camila instinctively cuddled into Lauren's side.

Lauren's phone buzzed and she pulled it out. The picture from Camila at the hospital had blew up. This was not going to end well for Camila.