Dead hearts Don't beat

» Seventeen «

Jake
I haven't seen Raven for a month now. After the first week, after the fall out, I thought she'd return and I could apologise to her. But she's still no where to be seen. I've checked everywhere but as soon as I enter a room she could be in, she could easily fall through the floor or sink into the walls and I'd never know if she was there or not.

I miss having someone to talk to. Ok yeah I have Jess but I think she's afraid to talk to me when her friends are around. Sometimes it's like I don't even exist and then I get home and she'll text me constantly all night. I don't really know how to feel about her anymore. I do like her but she makes me feel so invisible but then she'll do something and I end up falling for her all over again. Such as a week after our kiss she asked if I'd like to a friends party with her.
"I'm not really sure if I want to. I mean won't everyone from school be there?"
"No it's my friends from youth I go to so only one or two people from our school will be there. The rest are from the next town"

She'd persuaded me to go and I did really enjoy myself. We had a bit to drink so we were both like two giggling children all night. I did that typical walking the girl home thing as well because I'm cliché like that.
"I appreciate you taking me home. Don't think I would have made it back by myself"
"That's ok. It's the least I can do"

We got to hers finally and before she went inside she gave me a kiss on the cheek.
"Good night Jake" she blushed and went inside closing the door behind her.
"Good night"

When I got home it was quite late. Nicole had already gone to bed, surprisingly dad was sat at the kitchen counter his head in his hands and a empty bottle of whisky next to him. He lifted his drunken head to see me.
"Hey son, what's going on?"
"Not much I'm just off to bed"
"Yeah...yeah okay" his voice got quieter as he looked at the bottle and lifted it to see there was no more alcohol. He put it back down with a heavy handed thud not realising how hard he had and smashing the bottle.
"Oops"
"Dad I think you need to get to bed"
"Yeah I think you're right. You're a good son, what did I do to deserve you" his words were all slurred and jumbled. I removed the glass and put it in the bin, before getting under his right arm and walking him to the stairs. I realised there was no way I could get him up there as I was a little light headed as well, so I dropped him on the sofa and went up to bed.

And that leads us back to today. Jess is still...well awkward at school, Raven is still missing, Nicole is still a bitch, dad is still a dead beat and that leaves me, still clawing through each shitty day. I have so much free time now that I'm way ahead on all my course work and I find myself delving deep into the depths of suppressed feelings. I haven't felt suicidal lately but I still have no cause for living. Depressing I know.

I sit with my laptop on my lap watching 'try not to laugh challenge' videos which I keep a straight face for through out. Raven would be laughing by now at all the people who have tripped up or fallen over or the cat videos where they trip babies up. I'm finding myself thinking about her more often. Her clear skin and slight rose colour in her cheeks when she gets mad. And her big, bright emerald eyes, and her amazing smile. Her long silk looking jet black hair that always is parted perfectly. Why did I mess up so bad? She's the only true person who understands me.

Raven
I don't have much to say. Jake is an arse I'd like to kick and that's basically it. He's been looking for me for ages and I'm not quite ready to talk to him yet. Do you ever get that feeling of when you really care about someone, and they hurt you so bad that just being around them makes you want to cry? Yeah well, that's how I feel. Stupid feelings. I'm dead, I shouldn't care. Not like I liked him anyway, or his stupid laugh, or his tolerance to listen to me ramble for hours. Nope don't care at all. Sigh, that's what I keep telling myself in hope that my feelings will listen and go back to normal.

So where am I, you may be asking? Well I'm living in the basement. Yeah, the basement! They don't even know they have one and why should they the door was boarded up years ago. It was just before Mr Jefferson moved in, the people before them were paranormal crazy people. I mean they had smelly candles everywhere and ouija boards and shit like that. Of course I used this to my advantage.

One time when they were trying to "contact the dead" I told them that a lost soul was trapped in the basement. This lead them to investigate where I'd set up a sort of horror house situation. I'd gathered up some of my old baby things from the loft, that my parents had left and some other things and set them up downstairs. When they went downstairs they had brought 'ghost equipment' with them which was just a load of dodgy recorders. I started off by slamming the door behind them so they were basically in complete darkness, then I rocked my old cradle and made some scratching noises on the walls. You could see they were scared. I think I then picked up one of my dolls and walked towards them with it. Of course all they saw was a floating doll, I never liked playing with dolls so I thought I know I'll pull one of its eyes out. The couple screamed and I couldn't stop laughing so I lifted my one eyed doll's arms up and carried on walking towards them. They ran so quickly up the stairs it was unbelievable. The next day they removed the basement door handle locked it with a million locks and boarded it up and plastered over it. To be fair, they did a good job of making it look like there was never a door. No ones ever noticed it missing since they left that same day. Mr Jefferson would never be able to make it down those stairs anyway. 

So yeah that's where I am. I'd like to say it's not bad but it's awfully boring hanging out here every morning and night. Durning the day I come back upstairs because I know Jake won't be home. Why am I mad at him again? Oh yeah because he said I didn't count as a friend. You know I don't like this Jess girl. I don't even know her but she's already my enemy, stealing my friend away from me. I heard him talking on the phone to her the other day for several hours. I couldn't make out what they were saying but he laughed a few times. It was my job to make him laugh not her. Like when I made a cat look like it was flying and freaking out Nicole; he laughed for hours.

I suppose I'll talk to him soon, but when I've decided what to say. I did an amazing job at scaring him though, he looked petrified. I feel quite smug about that but bad at the same time. Why do I feel so guilty? Ahhhh stupid feelings go away. I slam my head into a wall, forgetting I don't exist of physical matter, I fall through the wall and hit the floor. If I could feel physical pain that definitely would have hurt.

Right I'm extremely bored of the basement now so time to go back upstairs. I float through the first floor, then second, and finally the third, to reach Jake's bedroom door. I can hear voices coming from within. Perhaps he's watching a video. I hope it's one of those funny cat ones. I open the door to see Jake sat on his bed facing a chubby looking girl. Jess!

Author's note: hope you enjoy this chapter. Don't forget to vote and comment. Dedication this chapter is too all my beautiful readers.