I got cleaned up and decided not to think about it anymore. It's whatever. Most people can't just turn a switch in their minds and the traumatizing thing that they went through would be out of their minds or they just don't care about it anymore, I can however. I am a strong person, always have been. Instead of dealing with things, I can just push them out of my mind.
As long as people don't bring it up and try to talk to me about it in detail, I'll be okay. I couldn't do it sooner, because once I start pushing it out of my mind, it is no longer fresh and I can't remember exactly what happened. The only thing it doesn't work on is dreams. I had to remember for the police statement, but now I can forget. It truly makes me feel like a happier person.
I got cleaned up and I looked great. I was ready to finish the tour, get married to Vic and be happy for the rest of my life. I was having a great day for some reason.
Vic and the rest of the guys came in to me with my PTV tank and ripped up jean shorts on. I had my converse on. I was putting Without a Paddle on, which was one of my favorite movies. I sat down to start watching it and everyone, cautiously, sat down too. I guess they were surprised about the personality change, all but Emily. We have known each other forever, she knows I will deal with it eventually, but right now, just be happy and enjoy my personality.
I had a red bull with pixie stix mixed in and it was amazing! I was ready to go and do the show.
A few hours before we went on, I had a signing with the fans.
"Are you sure? You don't have to if you're not ready. It was a very bad experience, your fans would understand you not going to go to the signing." Vic said with everyone nodding their heads in the background
"Vic, don't be silly. It was one fanboy. Not every fan is a raving lunatic. I love my fans and wouldn't want to disappoint them. I am a true artist and one thing isn't going to stop me from loving my fans." I said
"You really don't have to J." Emily and Vic said.
"Dude, stop arguing, I will go alone if you guys are going to protest."
"NO" Vic said, "We'll go with you."
We left the bus heading to the signing. Vic insisted he come to, and just leave halfway through to go and perform.
I was signing and having a great time, it was amazing. Vic turned to me, "Hey babe, I have to go perform, Oli, from Bring Me The Horizon, will be here with you until You have to perform."
""Babe, he honestly doesn't have to be here, I can take care of myself. It's not like it will happen again and this time I know what to do. I'm okay by myself and all of my band will be here."
"Please, it will just make me feel better." He said
"Okay. But only for you." said giving him a kiss goodbye. I could feel the fans taking pictures. "BABE! We forgot to tell them!"
"Oh right!"
"Hey everyone!" I said getting them quiet so I could tell them the news. " Heard it here first people, Vic and I are engaged and getting married!"
They all screamed in excitement and some in disappointment. I heard a few fans scream No he is mine.
He went to his show and Oli sat down where he was. "Hey Oli." I said with a smile.
"What's up girl. I haven't really seen you since the bonfire."
"Oh, I know. I've been really busy." We hugged each other and fans took pictures then I continued on with the signing.
I was there for about another hour. I got up and left to go see the rest of PTV's show. After PTV it's Sleeping With Sirens, then we go on. I couldn't wait to watch everyone. I hadn't really watched many of the shows. They were amazing.
Vic spotted me in the crowd and announced our engagement, then gave me a shout out song and sang to me for the rest of the show.
Oli was there with me the whole time. I told him he could go if he wanted to but he said he was going to watch them anyway, so might as well watch them with me. We were having a good time and bonding all day.
SWS came on and I watched a little bit of them when Vic found me and watched most of the show with me. I went back stage to get ready to go on. shortly after the rest of my band came.
We watched the rest of the show back stage. Kellin said, "I love you guys, and know you love us more than everyone. But give a fantastical welcome to Love You Any Day!" He ran off the stage and hugged me then we went on.
