Mental

Chapter Thirty|She's A Handsome Woman

Dan

"Goddamn it, Karen! I'm a doctor, not a fucking lawyer. This shit doesn't make any sense to me," Dan shouted frustratedly.

Karen, Dan's actually went to law school and graduated top of her class, works with the district attorney lawyer--rolled her eyes, "Dan, you're guilty of your crime. Completely, one hundred percent, guilty. You're so guilty that you confessed to your boss. The best you can do is your plead your case, because your a very, very guilty bastard-"

"Okay, I get it, I'm guilty!" Dan said.

"Look, now you're even confessing to me, how fucking weak," Karen said smugly.

Dan narrowed his eyes, "May I remind you, that you're supposed to be helping me here?"

Karen shrugged, "I'm a lawyer not a fucking doctor."

Dan couldn't help but chuckle, "Alright, I see how it is. Turning my owns words around like that? Cruel."

"It's what lawyers do. Must I give you an entire description on the occupation?"

Dan sighed, "I'm sorry, Karen. I'm just under a lot of stress right now. I have to leave my job in six days, and I'm legally required to lose touch with my patients, who have become my best friends this past six months. My only fighting chance for this trial is if the judges heart is made of jelly, and they take overwhelming empathy towards me. Real life isn't like that. I'm not gonna get to skip away on a unicorn into the sunset with Phil, and keep my job. I'm so scared of leaving him."

Karen patted Dan's shoulder softly, and Dan had to admit that it was extremely new to him. Any form of sentiment was far from Karen's thing. Dan appreciated that she even tried.

Karen had always been a bit of a hardass. Dan had known her since she used to babysit him as a kid, and would intimidate him so much he wouldn't act out. She was was married to a woman named Rainy, and they had adopted three children so far. Dan had never encountered such tough kids in his life.

Thinking about this while Karen tried to be sympathetic made Dan laugh so hard he was brought to tears.

"What? What's so funny, jackass?" Karen asked, as she leant back in her chair with crossed arms.

Dan could only laugh harder at her change of mood. Something was so hysterical about this moment, and how it sort of reminded him of Phil.

Phil.

Dan suddenly stopped laughing slowly; like coming down from a high. He stared at the floor in front of him for a second, thinking about how he may never be able to see Phil again, and if he could it would never be the same with Dan so far away. There was a bit of silence for a while, and Dan saw Karen shift uncomfortably as if she knew not to ask any questions about what was on his mind.

"Hey, Karen?" Dan asked, not meeting her eyes.

"What?" Karen replied. She was acting like she was fine, Dan knew, but really she had a cautiousness to her tone as if Dan was unstable, and she needed to watch what she said. She was walking through a field of land mines. How weird it was to be talked to like that. Dan wondered if that's how his patients felt everyday.

"What would you do if you didn't have Rainy?"

Karen gave Dan a look he knew all to well, but he wasn't about to meet her eyes to see it. The look; like he was crossing a line he badly to needed to stay away from.

Any other day she would have told Dan to mind his own business, and to never ask about her feelings again or she'll throat punch him, but in this situation it seemed far too dramatic.

"If I didn't have Rainy I'd probably be insane. She's my control," Karen said calmly.

Dan nodded, "At least you aren't actually insane. Because from what I've heard, trying to love someone in a state where you can't even love yourself is useless. No matter how easy it is it will always end the same. With an end."

I sound like Phil.
I miss Phil.

"Stop it, Dan. Stop it," Karen demanded, "I've known you for twenty years, and you're too smart, and too amazing to lose like this. I won't let you give up so easily. You know what I see when I look at this case? One with a side I'm supposed to defend completely based on feelings. You know what? As much as I despise cases like that because they go against law in the name of emotions, we can still use this to our advantage. I do not want to see you give up on this, because you've worked so hard your entire life. You graduated a year before everyone in your grade. You had to work to earn that. All I'm asking now, is for you to do that again. Work hard. You want to stay here with Phil Lester? We will fight for Phil Lester. Do you understand me?"

Dan's eyes were wide, "Seriously?"

Karen nodded, "Seriously, dude. Have I ever failed you before? I practically got you through your rebellious teenage years, and all the stupid illegal shit, and experimenting...Trust me when I say, I believe in us. We make a great team."

Dan smiled, "You know, you're not all that bad for an old lady."

Karen narrowed her eyes, "I'm only fucking thirty-four, and I swear to God if you call me that again I'll slap you into next week."

Dan held his hands up in defense, "Alright, alright."

Karen rolled her eyes, and motioned towards the forgotten papers in front of them on the table. They were in Dan's office, and had been going over them before Dan snapped.

"Now, shall we get to business, or are you going to keep sulking over your boyfriend?" Karen teased.

"He's not my boyfriend," Dan said a little to harshly, causing Karen's eyebrows to raise.

I wish he was my boyfriend.

"Uh, okay...then," Karen replied awkwardly.

Dan knew he must have sounded a little to triggered, and defensive, but he didn't want to put a label on things right now, and Phil wasn't his boyfriend, and his life was complicated. He didn't bother to apologize, Karen knew him well enough already to know he meant well.

"Let's go over the basics of your crime, and the consequences at stake," Karen said.

Dan nodded, and Karen launched into lawyer speak. Dan somehow was determined enough to listen to every word.

***

Phil

Empty. Evan tried his hardest to keep feeding Phil happiness like coins in a broken video game machine. Phil just simply wasn't in the mood to be played.

There was no happiness if the only person to make him feel something in a long time had practically faded out of his arms.

Phil hadn't faked a smile in a while, maybe he should give it another try.

-

AN: I made myself laugh in the beginning because the first sentence is hilarious to me, but I'm dying in the inside.

Btw hope you had a fantastic Halloween last night, can you believe today is Christmas?