Mental

Chapter Twelve|But It's Better If You Do

Dan

He felt as if the world was simply an image. A memory. Like everything had already happened, and he was just looking back on the now. Thinking about his younger years, and wondering what should of been. He was a figment of the past trapped in photos, and old notes. Somewhere out there he was hunched over a torn album with greying hair feeling nostalgic, and regretful.

Just remembering.

This theory made him uneasy. Would he like to remember these years? Was he making the right choices?

It seemed like yesterday he was so happy he didn't have time to fall into the black hole that was his existential thoughts. But when happiness becomes a norm, so does that feeling that nothing can go wrong.

So when things do; you aren't ready. Even if it's a small thing. Insignificant.

Evan was Dan's wrong.

Dan never dealt with jealously well. Actually, that was an understatement. He found himself feeling jealous for other people sometimes. He didn't know why he was like this, but he was constantly jealous of people who spent to much time with his favorite people. Whether they were his friends, lovers, or family, it didn't matter. If they got close to people he didn't know he grew jealous.

Evan made him flame with envy.

When he was looking for Phil after he ran away he was planning on comforting him, and holding him like he did what seemed like a million years ago. He knew that it would calm Phil down, and make him feel better. All he wanted was for Phil to feel happy again.

He stumbled upon them facing each other. Breathing silently, and soaking in each others company.

Evan and Phil were so close it would take one of them to move forward only a few centimeters, and they'd be kissing. The thought of that made his blood run cold.

He remembered when Phil feel asleep in his arms. His head rested on his chest, and his heart beating slowly. They were sat like that for two hours. It was so comfortable Dan hadn't wanted to leave, but he had to get to his next session with Sugar.

He slowly laid Phil down on the bed. Phil stirred, and grabbed for a blanket which Dan put on him gently. He stared at his cute sleeping form for a while, and it made him smile.

He pushed Phil's hair out of his face, and kissed him on his forehead.

It was torture to see him sleeping with somebody else right next to him.

Dan had thought that just maybe, he and Phil had something special.

'Maybe we're just meant to be.'

He was wrong, and he was hurt.

He hadn't even been looking for Evan's room, but the door was wide open for anyone to see. He felt like he was stuck in second place.

Luckily, that means that technically they weren't breaking any rules since it was before nine. He could let them sleep, and them not get in trouble. So, he ran away from them not being able to look at the scene anymore due to jealousy.

But at nine they'd officially be breaking the rules. He thought about this until the time rolled around. He could've woken Phil up, and forced him into his room, but he didn't.

He told Nurse Greta to let it slide when she locked them in, and to just ignore it. Luckily, there didn't seem to be anyone who objected to anything he said here.

Well, except for Phil.

Phil liked to piss him off.

But that's why he liked him so much.