Mental

Chapter Seventeen|I Write Sins Not Tragedies

Pj

He was so close to imploding.

His head was swimming with thoughts that were slowly starting to twist at his heart, and lungs. It was like an elephant was sitting on his chest.

Why couldn't Dan love him?

Why did it seem that his whole life...

No one really loved him.

Why couldn't Dan look at him the way he looked at Phil?

Why did Dan have to lie to him to keep him happy?

Why did he have to lie to Dan to keep him happy?

He will admit, walking away from Dan was hard. He looked so lost. His hair had curled due to the rain, and he had such a perfect body, and face, and Pj was so in love with him. He wanted to stay and marvel at his chocolate brown eyes, and dimples. Everyday he saw him he was still surprised by how beautiful he was.

But Dan would never love him back the same.

He walked into the Cynthia Hall Mental Building shivering, and sad. He felt betrayed. He tried so hard to show Dan how much he loved him.

Today, he was going to take Dan out to his favorite restaurant, and ask him to move in with him.

That was the plan.

Pj knew it was a pretty serious question to ask him after only being together for five months, but he was so in love with Dan it didn't matter.

And he had just the tiniest glimmer of hope that Dan really did love him too.

Had.

He wonders if it was Phil who tore them apart.

Or if it was him.

He had never been enough for anyone else anyways.

He was about to enter his office, when he saw a glimpse of soft brown hair, and forest green eyes.

He slowly made his way to where he saw it out of the corner of his eye. He looks through the slightly opened door of the security room. He sees a bunch of screens, and a man munching on pretzels while he watched them intently.

"Chris?" Pj asked.

Chris turned around from his position watching the security cameras, and he instantly smiled at the sight of Dr. Ligouri.

"Hi Pj," Chris greeted.

Though Pj was feeling like his whole world was crumbling around him he smiled back, "Hi, Chris, how are you?"

Pj knew he didn't sound quite right because he had just stopped crying, but he hoped Chris wouldn't notice.

He did.

Chris's smile fell. He'd known Pj since he was in high school, and his voice was one of the prettiest things he had ever heard. The usually happy sounding tone of his accent was replaced with a sad tone he's heard many times before today, and Chris knew something was wrong.

"I'm good, but I'm more worried about if you're okay," Chris replied.

"Yeah, I'm totally fine," Pj reassured.

Chris had a skeptic look, "Riiight. And you despise pasta," he tone was oozing sarcasm, "Did you stub your toe, or was it a break up?"

Pj chuckled, "Wow, is it that obvious?"

"No, but I've known you longer than everyone else here except for Jessica. Oops, I mean Sugar."

Pj smiles, "We have known each other for a long time haven't we?"