It's That 'I Hate You' Kind of Love

Chapter Twenty Three

I hummed to the loud music playing on my phone as I continued up the giant hill of Westfeild National Park. Rocks and pebbles slid under my black sneakers and rolled down the dirt path in my wake, doomed to crash into the brush. I nearly slipped, but grabbed onto a nearby tree. I wiped my shining forehead with the back of my hand wanting to find a place to rest soon from my hike. The climb wasn't mountain length, but it did work up a good sweat in the summer warmth. Pushing past the branches of two groping trees I came across a tiny clearing, a large log fallen in the center and covered with thick green moss.

Here's a good place to rest.

I plopped down on the soft ground, leaning my back against the fallen tree trunk and took a swig of ice water in my blue water bottle. The chill raced down my parched throat sending an odd sensation of cold in my stomach. It felt incredibly refreshing in the hot summer heat, as welcome as the canopy of evergreen leaves and branches shading me from the sun's rays. Filtering through the cover, dust danced in the light that managed to seep from the blue skies to the mossy ground where I sat, resting my sore feet.

Pulling off my worn shoes and socks I sank my tired feet into the moss, closing my eyes and relaxing to the rhythmic, soothing sounds of my favorite bands.

Bzzz.

I sighed at the feeling of my phone, buzzing in my shorts pocket. Digging for it, I pulled it out by my white headphones, and pressed the main button to see it was a text from my brother. He was asking if I was okay and when I was coming home. Again.
I took a deep breath through my nose and quickly replied that I am fine and I didn't know.

Shaking my head with a reluctant smile I paused my music and shoved my now off phone back into my pocket. Ben was clearly concerned about me like he almost always was, but I told him and Mom I just needed to be by myself today. I needed to relax before my life went to hell.

Tomorrow was day seven, the day that Carson would force me back to the Pack House. The day I had been dreading all week and the day he must've been wishing for.

Now that it was tomorrow though, I just didn't know how to feel.

I was sad definitely, with the prospect of leaving my family. I would miss them terribly. My mom made it clear that Carson said they could visit me whenever, but the real question was; would they really? They would have to risk everything they believed in by going to that pack house. My family loved me so much and I wouldn't want them to suffer by a visit in Carson's wolf-infested domain.

Yeah, I was going to miss them. Bailey too. She and I had become much closer over the course of the week, the horrible bond we shared with those wolves bringing us together. In all the years we had been friends, I never thought of her as a sister to me until now. It hurt to know that I had to leave her to deal with the 'bond' alone, a bond that nearly drove us both insane most of the time. I was worried about her.

It hurt like a giant punch in my stomach to think of my other friends too. It ached to think that we were going to leave things the way they were; so horrible and out of place. Brianne wouldn't answer my calls. Stacy ignored my texts and John only picked up the phone for a minute before uttering a "I'm sorry, Charlotte" and hanging up.

I just wanted things to be fixed and alright again.

Unfortunately, that wasn't going to happen.

None of the birds chirped in the trees as they flew through the branches, most of them fleeing the clearing. They could sense the predator around them and abandoned ship. I knew the beast was near as well, but I ignored it.

Playing with the cap of my drink by twisting it one way and then the other I shook off the feeling of eyes watching me.

Seeing Carson tomorrow, that thought alone filled me with trepidation. After the countless nightmares, the most common being that one on the beach, I was even more anxious. The sane half of me was straightening her back and preparing for battle while fumbling with nervous clammy hands; and the insane half was completely the opposite.

That crazy part was excited to see him, to be wrapped in his muscular arms and to breath in his manly scent. Weird Charlotte knew her dreams were saying something, that she had missed him like crazy and needed him.

Insane Charlotte is just that, insane.

Yet, somehow things were different. This situation was going to be different. I don't know how I knew, but I was sure of it. Perhaps it was because of the countless dreams or his eyes clouding my every thought like a parasite but insane Charlotte was blending in a little with sane Charlotte.

I was looking foreword to seeing that mutant. It was horrifying.

Maybe it's as that saying goes; time apart makes the heart grow fonder or whatever, but whichever it was I didn't like it. No, I don't like it one bit.

I want to see him to hug him or kiss him like the mental case I am. Then again, I want to see him to punch him square in the nose; show him that I'm not going without a fight. Both options were extremely exciting. What was he going to do when he saw me? Would he hug me? Would he try to...kiss me?

Woah! Stop right there! Not going to happen. I am going crazy!

Breathing in through my nose, I shuffled so as to rest my head on the log, moss acting like a squishy pillow.

At least when I go with Carson I can't say my week was completely terrible. These last two days with my family have been some of the most fun I've had in a while.


A few days ago, after that long night at the party Ben and I were completely tired. We both had then silently gone to our beds, preoccupied with our own inner thoughts. I had then proceeded to spend the night wide awake, trying to ward away the images of Carson that flashed under my eyelids anyway.

Every blink seemed to bring his face to my mind, and I wanted to tear my eyes out because of it. A torture of it's own was trying my hardest not to fall asleep until five am when my body unwillingly gave in.

My brother didn't have it any better either.

His tortured yells echoed several times within the night hours, sending me and mom flying from our beds to his room. 'I'm fine', he would insist waving at us dismissively. 'Go away.' Then he would lay back his forehead, beading with nervous sweat, into his damp sheets, shielding himself from our worry with the gray comforters. I didn't like how he was shutting us out, even refusing to rise for a cup of my mom's delicious hot chocolate.

Climbing back into my bed, the covers just wouldn't be comfortable- instead feeling like coarse sand on my flushed skin. I was too hot then I was too cold, I just couldn't get settled beneath the familiar comfort. I knew exactly why too.


The next morning Mom tried to get us out of bed, before going out to see about an interview for a second job. But her wishes didn't follow through until well in the afternoon. I had been eating my cereal at the counter, staring blankly at the wall when my brother had emerged into the kitchen rubbing his eyes sleepily. Silently, he poured himself a bowl and sat beside me, both of us chewing quietly.


"You couldn't sleep." He had said after a full five minutes.

"He wouldn't leave my mind." I whispered, stirring my cheerio's with the spoon.

There was another full minute of silence filled with only the air conditioner turning on and the clack of our spoons on the plastic red bowls.

"She wouldn't leave my mind either." Ben muttered not meeting my widened gaze. "I lied to you, there is someone."

"Who is she?" I gasped. "Do I know her? How did you meet?"

"It doesn't matter. She left. She doesn't love me any more," He said, his voice the most broken I have ever heard it. "Just forget about it."

I suddenly was furious, more at this heart-breaking girl than him. How dare someone hurt my brother! "Ben-"

"Charlotte," he sighed. "Just do me a favor and forget about it. Please."

I shut up even though it was so unfair of him to tell me this much and then shut down.


We were both silent for another five minutes, a scowl across my face and a deep frown on his. Ben suddenly broke this quiet as he dropped his silver spoon in the bowl with a clatter that made me jump.

"Char, let's have a fun day."

Slowly I looked at him, a smile spreading across my face. I threw my dishes in the sink and ran toward the stairs. "I'll grab the socks and the snuggies, you get the snacks and the movies!"

"Don't forget the music!" He yelled after me, voice fading as he ducked his head into the cupboards.

"How could I ever?" I said laughing and rolling my eyes as I sprinted up the stairs.

This was our tradition, my brother and mine. Ever since we were younger and either of us were just in the crappiest mood ever we would just put it aside and have a "fun" day. On fun day you had to forget about your troubles and just have a good time. Over the years it had expanded to what it was today. I wouldn't give fun days with Ben up for the world.

Snatching the snuggies and pairs of socks from our rooms, I quickly grabbed my phone with speakers and made my way back downstairs. Ben finished distributing the crinkling bags of chips in his arms to the couch. I tossed his the clothes, which we both put over our pajamas. I slid on my official sliding socks to the couch, the both of us wrapping in all the blankets downstairs.

"What movie first?" I asked and he tossed me the case. Water World. "My favorite."

"Yup." He said, tossing me the bag of greasy chips and digging into the Cheetos. Between us there were a case of cookies, five bags of some kind of dry snack, and a bowl of buttery popcorn. I opened the bag with a squeal and grabbed a handful, shoving them gracelessly in my mouth as the movie started.


Two minutes in the film and so the bashing began.

"What is she wearing?" I laughed. "It looks so gross."

"His ponytail reminds me of a moldy French fry. It's so damn greasy."

"You'd think it would be cleaner if they're surrounded by all this water."

Ben erupted into laughter and I grinned. This was the highlight of fun day, criticizing our least favorite movies ruthlessly.


Hours later after three movies, our jaws tired from talking and almost all the food gone, we slid on our socks to the kitchen. I grabbed the cartons of Ice cream while Ben turned on the music as high as it could go without messing with the neighbors. We both sang at the top of our lungs to Living On A Prayer while sliding on the floors of the kitchen. When we were littler this had been the start of fun day, something rebellious and exciting. That still existed to this day, and no matter how old we got we were never embarrassed to slide around singing horribly off key and dancing with air guitars.

Younger Ben always knew how to cheer up younger Charlotte. It's no wonder why he is so protective of me, he always took care of his little sister.

When a few songs passed and we were through stuffing our faces with ice cream, panting we leaned against the kitchen counters.

Ben's eyes gleamed as he looked at me. "Twilight?"

My mouth turned up in a wide smile. "Hell yeah!"

Then we slid on our socks to the couch yet again, laughing like the inner children we were.

With that day, my sadness was put on hold.



The next day was equally as fun. Mom took the day off to be with me and Ben. With our pushing we finally told him to go off with his friends who were destroying his phone with calls and texts. It would be great for him to hang out with them for once. We went to get our nails done, but for a while we didn't know what to talk about. The subject of her job and the bakery was off limits, as well as werewolves.

Finally I broke that rule and told her my worries about going back to the pack. She listened to my fears about Brianne, and my sadness with my other friends. I really wanted to see Bailey and find out what happened at the party. The werewolves kept coming up though, I couldn't stop talking about them. I really wish they weren't in my life and such an enormous part.

"I don't know what I'm going to do when I see Carson in a few days, Mom," I sighed as we sat at the warm drying stations, nails freshly painted. "I don't how I can force myself to leave."


My mom was silent for a moment, biting at her lip just like I tended to do when I was thinking or nervous.


"I think you'll be surprised by how much the bond connects you, especially with this time apart. His wolf is going to be ten times crazier about you for a while."


I groaned loudly. "Great." Just what I needed, for Carson to be more possessive and demanding.

She chuckled breathily. "As for leaving, I know you're strong enough for this Charlotte. And, remember Ben and I can visit you whenever we want. That's the deal."

I kept my gaze away from hers. "Yeah, but will you really want to do that? I understand if you don't because it's the pack house-"

"Of course we will visit! Don't be silly Charlotte, you're my only daughter. A pack house means nothing if it means seeing you." My eyes pricked with tears at her declaration and I wondered when I had gotten so soppy. My mom smiled gently at me and placed a kiss on my forehead. "I love you Charlotte."

"I love you too."



Blinking my eyes into the fading sun I yawned as I realized my tired state. Stretching my muscles and taking a sip of water I dug into my back pack for my phone. While I waited for it to turn on I silently wished that I could be as calm as I am now when Carson comes for me.

Just the thought of it sent flutters in my chest and stomach.

My phone buzzed as it came to life showing me the two missed calls from Ben and a text from Bailey sent eleven minutes ago. I typed my brother a quick message and then told Bailey that I could come over and would be there in about an hour.

I am dying to find out what happened at the party.

My heart tugged as I placed my phone back in my pocket. Would this be my goodbye forever to Bailey? Would I ever see her again? I wanted to scream at the thought of losing yet another person, but I held it in.

Nearby there was a rustle in the brush so faint, as if only a bored creature's tail had brushed it lightly in annoyance.

With a tired sigh I replaced my footwear, slung my bag over my shoulders and began walking out of the shadowy clearing. I paused, my toes digging into my boot which squished into the moss. I stomped back around to look at the trees.



"Emily, Austin, Zach, or whoever the spy it is today, you tell him, your future leader, that he broke his promise and I don't like him any more for it. Tell him that I don't respect liars and I won't respect him. Got it? Good."


Then I turned on my heel, making my way back down the incline.

Snap!

I spun around, and found a side of my lips turning up in a smile. I nodded in acknowledgment.

"Emily."

The sky blue eyes peeking out of the brush blinked once, before there was a rustle and the blonde wolf gracefully scampered on long hind legs up the incline, purple neon sneakers dangling from her mouth and clothes tied around her lean back ankles. She paused at the top of the hill, her mouth opening in a doggy smile before dissappearing in the grove of pine trees.

I watched for a moment where her golden tail had swished before going out of sight, took a sip of my water, screwed the cap back on the blue bottle and continued down the rocky forest path.


ITIHYKOL ITIHYKOL ITIHYKOL ITIHYKOL


I reached Ben's car in record time considering the shadows and darkness were making it harder to avoid tripping on roots and fallen branches. The heat was not as insufferable in the approach of sunset. I was so grateful for that! Slinging my bag into the back, I stuck the key in the ignition, turned up the radio and left the gravel parking lot on my way to Bailey's. I sang along loudly to the music, finding my troubles didn't seem as problematic after my hike. I didn't know how long this will last, but I hope it will be a while.

Arriving at her small blue house I made to open the car door when Bailey came hurrying out the house entrance.

"Hey." I greeted with confusion as she hopped in the passenger seat. "What's going on, I thought we were hanging out here?"

She panted a deep breath. "We were but my parents are being complete nuts and Travis is having a major fit. I really need to get of there! You don't mind, right?"

I shook my head as I started the car. "No, not at all. So where do you want to go?"

Bailey hesitated. "How about the park. We really need to talk and I don't want family hearing about it."

I knew she was referring to my mom and Ben about her being mates to Jay, so I nodded in understanding and drove the seven minutes to the park.

We both climbed out of the rusty vehicle, looking around at the familiar sights of the wooded area, biking trails, fields and the old playground. Both of us could remember the times on that swing set before we even knew of each other and the world was a friendly place. Back then werewolves were just scary things mentioned from time to time; nothing to really worry about.

Wishing for that innocent time will do nothing for me but waves of sadness. It was good while it lasted, right? However, I still longed to venture to those swings where I would fly through the air for hours beside close friends I had only met that day. If the swings weren't already taken by several children pumping there legs in the sky under the eyes of their gossiping mothers; I probably would've gone over.

Instead the two of us went to the top of the hill near the dark, buggy woods where no one else would venture over at this time of day. We sat down next to each other and then flopped on our backs to look at the streaked sky of flamingo feathers pink, orange and a lavender purple. The clouds streaked out with the colors, giving the impression of a freshly painted canvas of an artist with the love of long strokes with her paint brush.

I began to pick at the grass blades and braided them together remembering how my mom had taught me to make grass crowns and bouquets. I almost didn't want to speak, it was so peaceful; but one thought was on my mind primarily.

"So what happened at the party with Kevin?"

Bailey sighed softly, her eyes closed to the world. "He was really nice to me. A perfect gentlemen really..."

"But did it work?" My fingers tightened around the weaving of grass. "He didn't do anything to you right, because you know Ben and I will hunt him down-"

She laughed breathily. "Thanks, but he didn't do what you're thinking." Bailey took a deep breath in, exhaling her next words. "He wasn't the cure. He can't cure the mating bond, I don't think anyone can."

We both didn't say anything for a moment as she took in a shuddered breath and let it out. In the distance children screamed with glee and some little girl let out a wail as one boy wouldn't share with her.


I shook my head slowly feeling my heart burn with regret and even disappointment. When she first suggested it I knew it wouldn't work and yet a part of me had still hoped. "I'm so sorry, Bails."

She paused for a long second.

"It's okay, I'm just-I'm just so...disappointed."

"I know."


I picked at more grass, beginning to weave it with nimble fingers. "It's just not fair is it? That we have to be picked to be their mates."

Bailey nodded, her eyes not opening. "Apparently it's meant to be. We don't really have a choice. It seems as if there are no choices with being a werewolf's mate. Carson controls you and Jay might do the same to me. These are the hard facts."

"I know, but they are still hard to accept. Without you or my family to be there for me- I don't know what I would do."

Bailey hesitated. "Charlotte," She said softly, much different from her sad, hard tone just a moment before. "I want to tell my family. It's so difficult not telling them something this important. I just don't know how they'll react. It scares me."

I shuffled closer to her, holding up my weaving so she could see.

"You have to do what you think is right." I gazed at my finished work as I handed it to her. "But, I think you have to remember that these people have raised you since you were a baby, and held you close when you fell off a swing and scraped your knee. They love you."


Bailey was silent as she fingered the edge of the grass crown I had created. She sighed. "I hope you're right."

"If I'm not then they don't deserve you."

"Charlotte?"

"Yeah?"

"Tomorrow when Carson comes," Bailey said slowly, hesitating for only half a second. "I want to be there with you. I'm not ready to say goodbye."


I gulped away the feelings choking up in my throat. I'm not ready to say goodbye either. Just when I thought my problems were gone, they come back again in a tenfold. Saying goodbye just worsened everything.


"Jay might be there."

"I-I don't care. Friendship is more important to me than a stinky old dog."

My lips turned up in a faint smile at her name for the next Beta. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely." She confirmed, nodding her head and then turning to me with a teasing smile. "I know it's hard to believe but I actually enjoy your company when you're not whining about leaving the house, or ruining my jeans in food fights, or disappearing off the face of the earth with a mutt, or teasing me about Harry Potter or-"

I slapped her arm lightly, laughing. "Oh, shut up."

"-or commenting about my eating, or being rude to people, or..."


I rolled my eyes with a large grin on my face.


"Love you too, Bails, love you too."



___________________________


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Last filler chapter for a while! Yay! :)

So, who do you think Ben's love is? It won't be answered for a while but it's probably important to remember that he loves someone. Okey doky? And Eeep! I'm so excited for the next chapter! I hope you like this update :)

Love- Faith

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