Ethereal

Fourteen

"But camz. 30 isn't a few pounds. You were already tiny at 110 pounds when we first met." Lauren tried.

"I was perfectly fine with my weight when we first met. It was only last week I started to become self conscious. I don't even know why everyone is concerned. I don't have an eating disorder. I just lost a few pounds it isn't a big deal!" Camila snapped. She had to come up with some sort of lie to distract Lauren from reality.

"You do have anorexia Camila." Normani chimed in.

"It's whatever. Ending up in the hospital was a real wake up call for me. I'm going to loose weight in a healthy way," Camila lied.

Ally gave her a stern look from across the room. "You don't need to loose any more weight camila!"

"If I need to I will work out and eat right. Not starve myself." She continued to lied.

If I had it my way I would loose more weight then I already have.

"Promise me. Promise us that you don't have an eating disorder and that it was just a couple days of going down the wrong path." Dinah pleaded.
Camila nodded her head and smiled.

"I promise." Camila lied. Again.

Camila couldn't stand lying to the other girls. She couldn't stand lying to anyone. But she has been doing a lot of that in the past week.

"Can I just talk to Lauren? Go get something to eat." Camila ironically told the 3 girls.

"I have a question." Camila said timidly.
Lauren frowned and she realized what Camila was about to ask.

"And I don't want you to freak out on me. Just answer me honestly please." The smaller girl pleaded in a weak voice.
Lauren nodded her head, already knowing her answer.

"Am I fat?" Camila but her lip and sniffled, she was on the brink of tears.

"Honestly camila," Camila's heart dropped, she knew she was fat, she just didn't want to hear some one tell her she was. "Absolutely not. You are the most skinny person I have ever seen. I really wish you could see that." Lauren started.
The green eyed girl walked over to Camila and rested her hand on the smaller girl's sunken in stomach. Camila flinched at first but then relaxed.
"You look like a walking skeleton. You have this huge thigh gap, that I almost envy, but you look sick. You do not have one ounce of fat on your body at all." Lauren tried.

"I just can't help but feel like everyone is lying to me when they say I'm skinny. I feel disgusting! I hate myself!" Camila yelled.

"Do not say that camz. I am bigger then you. Do you realize that? I weigh almost 50 pounds more then you do. But you don't think I'm fat. I just don't understand how you can think your fat." Lauren exclaimed.
Lauren felt bad for raising her voice and sighed. She laid down next to the small figure in the uncomfortable hospital bed. Lauren rubbed her girlfriends back. She felt chills as her hand ran over Camila's prominent spine, going over every vertebrae. She could feel every single rib. Her shoulder blades looked like they were about to tear her skin.

Lauren cupped her hand over her mouth and cried, finally realizing the severity of the situation.
Camila could hear the older girl crying but she knew it was her fault. It broke her heart to know that she hurt people when all she wanted to do was be skinny. Everyone around her was collateral damage.

"Stop crying." Camila pleaded.

"You're not even faced towards me." Lauren sniffled and wiped her eyes.

"I know when you're upset Lo. I feel really shitty right now. It's my own fault that you and all the girls are upset. And I fucking hate myself for it." Camila crossed her arms and pulled herself into a ball on the bed.