Graceland: Family Affair

Chapter Forty-Nine

The rest of the week passed without much event. But I felt drained. I still wasn't really talking to Mike – we were civil, and he was trying especially hard to mend our relationship, and as much as I wanted to return to the way we were, I knew that the time wasn't right. It would be better for both of us if we kept our contact to a minimal – only seeing each other and working together when we absolutely needed to. I lie on my bed, staring at the ceiling, when there is a soft knock on my door. I look toward the crack in the door to see my brother standing there.

"Can I come in?" Paul asks. I pat the space next to me on the bed, just like I had done for Mike when I first came to Graceland. How ironic that, back then, it was me hiding from my brother. Who'd have thought that now I would be doing the complete opposite and that I'd now be hiding from Mike? I wanted to verbally reply to Paul, but the emotional stress of the last couple of weeks had taken its toll, leaving me feeling weaker than I had before. I just don't have the energy to verbally reply. I push myself up on the bed, sitting back against the headboard. Paul closes the door behind him and sits beside me.

"You okay?" I manage to ask.

"I'm fine. But I'm worried about you..." Paul looks at me placing his hand over mine. "And not just as your brother – you're an Agent in Graceland, which means you're an Agent under my care...under all of our care. The boys and Charlie are concerned for you...which is why I'm completely fine if you would rather sit it out tonight and not go to the Mendoza dinner with Mike and me..."

"Paul..." I start, but he cuts me off.

"We'll just tell them that you're ill or something. You've just had one blow after another the last few weeks, and part of that is down to me and I feel terrible about it. But I really want to change, and I want to look after you...because you're my Sister, and I only get one of those". He squeezes my hand, smiling warmly at me, and I can do nothing but smile back. "So...you don't need to go tonight".

"I'll go, Paul...I said I would, and so I will –"

"Sarah –"

"No, it's my turn to talk now. I'm going to go. I'm an Agent...it's what I trained for. I want to go. It's my job to go".

"Sarah –"

"And I'll have you by my side. Nothing can go wrong", I smile, trying to convince myself as much as I'm trying to convince Paul. Paul looks at me and takes a breath, trying to smile as he does, knowing that I've made up my mind and there's nothing he can do to change it. He squeezes my hand once more and then concedes the argument.

"Okay then, guess you're going..." He forces a smile. He gets up from the bed and heads toward the door. "Rest up, Sarah. I love you".

"I love you too, Paul..."

I'd fallen asleep again, trying to sleep of the tired and weak feeling that I'd been plagued with for the last few days. I struggle to remember the last time I felt fully energized. I almost feel as if the life has been sapped out of me since I came to Graceland. I had been on such an emotional high when Mike and I had found each other again. But then came crashing back down to earth when the truth came out. I shouldn't have let myself rise so high so quickly, because then maybe the fall would not have been as great and as hard to take. I get up from my bed and head to the window, opening it to let the ocean breeze from outside flood my room and brush against my skin, helping to awaken my senses. I breathe in a take in the smell of the beach, the smell of the sea, and the sounds of the scene. I take deep breaths, taking all of this in, and I start to feel less drowsy. There's a soft knock at my door.

"Baby girl. You want help getting ready?" Charlie asks kindly.

"Please, Charlie", I smile at her. "I would love that!"

Charlie gets me to sit down in front of my desk, and she readjusts a small table mirror in front of me so I can see myself. She starts to brush my hair, and for the next thirty minutes, she works with my hair, fashioning it into a beautiful style. It's so relaxing just being in Charlie's company as we just sit and chat and laugh. For a few moments, all my troubles and doubts slip away, and I truly smile for the first time in what has felt like forever. I've missed this time with Charlie, and I make the mental note to never shut myself off from her. When you hit what feels like rock bottom, your closest friends can make all the difference. And Charlie just has this magic way about her – I'm so lucky to know her. She's been so good to me, and I could not be proud that she is going to be the one to mother my niece or nephew. That's going to be one incredibly lucky and immensely loved kid, I tell you that.

Charlie then helps me pick out a modest outfit, making me look the part, transforming me once again into Mrs. Sarah Jones. And then it hits me...the thought only occurring now, that tonight, I'm going to have to play Mike's wife. Charlie obviously sees this thought registering in my eyes, and jumps to reassuringly place her hands on my shoulders.

"Sarah...you've got this! You're strong!" Charlie says as she looks me right in the eyes. I take a deep breath and nod, desperately trying to believe her. "You ready?"

"Ready..."