Graceland: Family Affair

Chapter Forty-Six

I sink to the floor, covering my ears with my hands, trying to block out the conversation I've just heard. I don't want to know Mike's answer. I want someone to tell me that I've imagined the Mike and Paul's conversation – that I've fallen asleep on Mike's bed and dreamed up this potentially nightmarish situation. I curl up into a ball, hugging my legs against my chest as I try to keep my ears covered, closing my eyes tightly to block out everything. I'm not sure how long is sit there like this, but it's as if part of me believes that, if I sit here like this long enough, then I'll magically appear in my own room...perhaps even, if I'm lucky, my bedroom at my parent's house. Maybe, if I sit here long enough, I'll find out that this entire 'Graceland experience' has been one big dream. Suddenly, I feel a pair of strong arms wrapping themselves around me, enveloping me in their embrace. A voice starts to break through.

"Sarah! Sarah! Sarah!" The voice calls. I open my tightly shut eyes and see Mike there, a concerned and worried look on his face as he holds me close to him. I don't say anything in response. I look down at the photos and the pills that lay in a mess on the floor in front of us. "...Where did you find these?" He asks quietly.

"...In there..." is all I can muster as I point to the open wardrobe.

"...It's not what you think..." He looks down to the floor.

"I heard what Paul said..." I respond, emotionless and numb.

"...You weren't meant to hear any of that..." He drops his head into one of his hands.

"When were you going to tell me?" I ask coldly, sounding numb and completely emptied from all of my tears – I don't have any more left to cry.

"...Soon..." He answers softly, reaching a hand out to touch my shoulder. But I lean away from him, not wanting him to touch me.

"Don't lie to me, Mike...It's not doing either of us any favours..." I wrap my arms around my legs as I turn away from him. "You said you were fine..."

"I am fine!" He retorts.

"NO!" I snap back at him. "No, you're not fine! You haven't 'recovered' if you're still on THESE!" I growl as I furiously pick up a packet of his medication. He doesn't reply. Instead he just stares at my face. I try to regain some kind of control over my breathing as we stare at each other in silence. "Was my brother right about you?"

"No!" He exclaims as I stand up and head for the door. He stands up and grabs my arm to stop me. "Sarah, you've got to believe me –"

"I don't want to look at you right now, Mike!" I shake my head.

"I didn't intend for any of this to happen!" He tries to defend himself.

"Oh, Mike!" I scoff. "No-one 'intends' to become a drug addict!"

"I'm not a drug addict!" He shouts.

"Then what are you then?!" I yell in exasperation. "These are drugs, Mike...medicinal drugs...and you're taking them when you don't need to be!" I look right into his eyes, my own eyes burning as I feel a lump forming in my throat. My voice comes out softer and a little shakier than before. "You're a drug addict, Mike..." I turn back to face the door, reaching out to open it.

"Sarah, I –" He rushes over and wraps his arms around me, but I gently push him away.

"And what makes it worse is that you hid it from me..." I add quietly. "If only you had told me..." I sigh. I bend down to pick up the medication and the pile of photos from the floor. I drop the photos on his bed, and scoop the medication into my hands, stuffing them in all available pockets so that there's none left in his room to tempt him. "If you had just trusted me with this...I could have tried to help you through it..."

"You still can..." He answers, trying to be cute.

"Maybe Paige will help you..." I try not to sound hurt as I say it. I nod towards the untidy pile of photos on the bed as I open the door. "You clearly haven't let her go yet...so maybe she'll still be holding on to you..."

I leave Mike's room and head straight downstairs, a terrible ache in my heart. There's only one person I need to talk to right now – only one person who will be able to help me and make me feel better. He might not have been my favourite person a few hours ago...but he's still my big brother. No matter how frustrating he is, I need Paul in my life, and I always find myself running back to him for comfort and protection. I wander around the downstairs of the house, looking for Paul, but there's no sign of him. I open the big glass doors that lead to the beach and see the silhouette of my brother, sitting on the sand. I walk down towards him and stand behind him.

"Is this seat taken?" I ask quietly.

"And so she's come back to big brother, with her tail between her legs", he declares smartly as he looks out to sea. I don't respond, and this lack of response prompts Paul to turn to look at me. He sees the expression on my face, still red from the tears, and his own expression drops.

"Have you been crying?" He asks seriously, the tone of brotherly concern returning to his voice once again. And in this moment, we both forget the conflict that had risen between us. For, when all's said and done, family is the most important thing. He stands up as he reads the hurt on my face.

"...I found them..." I whisper, barely able to get the words out as I remove a packet of medication from my pocket. "...And...I overheard you talking...and..." The tears start to fall. "Why didn't he tell me?" Paul immediately wraps his arms around me, pulling me protectively to him as I cry into his t-shirt.

"It's okay..." He tries to soothe me as he strokes my hair. "It'll be alright..."

"I should have listened to you, Paul...You were right...Mike and I should never have been together..." I weep.

"...Sarah..." He says softly. "You don't mean that..."

"It's been nothing but heartbreak for me, Paul...even when we were together...it was nothing but trouble for me –"

"And I'm mostly to blame for that..." He confesses. "I didn't make it easy for you, and I'm sorry..."

"It's not your fault...Mike was lying to me...It wouldn't have lasted anyway..." I sigh as I wipe my eyes with my sleeve. "It just wasn't meant to be..." I shrug. "All I'm left with is a broken heart and pockets full of medication...and I need to get rid of both of them..."

"Well, I can't promise that I can do anything to mend your heart...That one you might have to fix yourself..." Paul smiles weakly. "But, I can remedy your medication problem immediately!" He takes my arms and links it with his as we walk back towards the house.

"Thank you, Paul..." I smile gratefully. "Let's put the last few days firmly in the past, alright?" I ask, and he nods.

"So, we good?" He looks at me.

"Always..."