Adulteress Love Child

Chapter 25 So Cold

Chapter XXV
So Cold

Oh you can't hear me cry
see my dreams all die
from where you're standing
on your own
it's so quiet here
and i feel so cold
this house no longer
feels like home

"So do you get to go home today?" Susan asked as she and Thatcher were sitting on the couch the room had. Thatcher had Alison in his arms and a large smile on his face. Alison was sleeping soundly as she always was.

"I think so, Addison said I did," Meredith said, wanting to avoid the subject.

"I'm sorry, I totally forgot," Susan started to apologize but Meredith stopped her.

"It's alright. I understand, it will be hard but maybe she won't have to be here much longer," Meredith shrugged, she honestly didn't want to think about it.

"Well when you come up here to visit, I will happily come by and watch this cute little one," Susan said in a higher voice, running her finger over Alison's cheek.

"I'll keep that in mind but you will have to fight Lexie for that," Meredith laughed, remembering Lexie had already reserved babysitting rights for when she is off work. Thatcher was just quiet as he held Ali, occasionally just talk to her. Meredith couldn't help but think about how Thatcher must have been when she was a baby. She wondered if he also looked at  her like that.

"Thatcher, can you tell me about when I was born?" Meredith asked, watching his expression of surprise look back at her.

"Uh well um it was a decently warm morning, Ellis was in class while I actually took the day off because I had to run all the errands so I had our car. When it was time for Ellis to get out of class I was stuck in traffic and I saw an ambulance pulling out of the college. I had a bad feeling so I turned around and followed the ambulance and sure enough, it was your mother. She was in full blown labor by the time she got to the hospital. A few hours later she had you," Thatcher said, now realizing Ellis had never told her.

"Were you happy?" Meredith asked, now curious.

"I was, very happy for you but I was upset with Ellis. She was just, it was different. I had seen my sister after she had a baby and now I am seeing you with her and Ellis said she was happy but you could look at her and tell that she was smiling but I don't think it really  hit her that she now had responsibility," Thatcher tried to say in nice way that Ellis did love her but she wasn't happy.

"Thank you," Meredith said with a slight smile. Addison came into the room with a slight smile on her.

"How are you feeling today Meredith?" Addison asked.

"Good, ready to get out of here as a patient," Meredith smiled as Addison laughed.

"Well I'm going to get your discharge papers for you and that little one, I'll have a pediatrician come in here and check her out to get the good for her to go home," Addison smiled.

"Wait, Addison can you go get Derek so he can come in here and I want to go see Evie," Meredith said with a slight smile.

"Sure," Addison replied and then left the room.

"If you guys want to come you can," Meredith offered, not wanting to sound rude.

"No, it's fine. We will stay here with Alison and Derek, give you some alone time with your girl," Susan smiled sympathetically.

"Ok," Meredith nodded. Derek came in and kissed Meredith.

"She's growing so well," Derek smiled as he was referring to Everleigh. It was as if Ali sensed him in the room  because when she heard his voice, she woke up from her sleep and started to get cranky.

"He's her favorite," Meredith joked, but was actually being serious. It didn't take but him speaking one word for her to wake from a dead sleep and seek him out to be in his arms.

"She's a daddy's girl," he smiled widely as her took her carefully from Thatcher. She started to calm as he was talking to her.

"You were like that Meredith, I understand," Thatcher laughed as he reminisced.

"Alright, now I'm going to slowly make my way down to the NICU," Meredith smiled as she took her time getting out of the hospital bed. She could move easily since it had been four days since the c-section but she chose to be careful. She knew that maybe one day she would want to have another baby so she had to be careful. Addison was checking out Evie when Meredith walked in and began to put the yellow protective gear on.

"How is she?" Meredith asked as she tried to tie the ties by herself.

"Good, she is triggering the vent so we are going to start slowly weaning her off," Addison said with a smile as she went behind Meredith and helped her.

"Thank you, for everything."

"It's my job, I know we have our past and I'll always love Derek but you are his future along with your precious girls," Addison said with a nod.

"I couldn't do what you were doing, helping the girlfriend of the love of your life," Meredith shook her head, trying not to think about it as she walked over to the incubator that held Everleigh. Izzie had sew a small blanket with her name to go on top of the incubator to show the nurses her name.

"I realized he wasn't the love of my life, i haven't found him yet but when I do, I couldn't do this," Addison replied then she left without another word.

Meredith stood quietly, she just starred at the tiny baby inside. She wanted so very badly to hold her and she knew she couldn't yet. It was killing her, she had watched many other babies be like this and she felt bad but nothing felt like she was then. Meredith didn't even notice when Cristina came into the room.

"Are you ready to go?" Cristina spoke, noticing Meredith starting to cry

"Mer," Cristina sighed as she put her arms around her person. Things were different since she found out she was pregnant, they drifted apart a little bit but right now showed that she still loved Meredith which put a ease to Meredith knowing she didn't completely lose her person.

"I don't want to leave her," Meredith mumbled between tears.

"I know you don't but you have to take care of Alison. Evie will be fine, she has all of us here," Cristina assured her.

"Yeah Mer, we will all be here," Lexie piped, she had also came in the room without being noticed.

"What if something happens," Meredith said in a dry heave, trying to catch her breath.

"Mer, I will stay here all night with her, I won't leave her side," Cristina said.

"Cris, you don't have to," Meredith said, knowing Cristina wasn't really a kid person.

"I want to. Besides, she has to get to know her aunt Cristina," Cristina smiled, causing Meredith to smile as she wiped her tears.

"And tomorrow, I'll come sit with her for a bit in between patients," Lexie smiled.

"I love you both," Meredith laughed slightly saying it, it was ironic how a year ago she was just an intern who slept with her boss who was married and didn't have anyone. Now she had two babies by her boss who she was in love with, a person who she could always count on, and even a sister who she was learning to love.